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Smackdown: Eye for an eye
By JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling


It’s a new era of Smackdown following the trade this past Monday. The new roster, reflected in the opening video, looks to shake things up tonight. Let’s see what happened on SD!

We kick off the new era (v2.0) with CM Punk showing what happened at The Bash, showing his innocence in the whole matter. Then, Punk accepts a potential match against Jeff Hardy on the condition of an apology. This brings out Teddy Long, who announces that Punk and Hardy will team up against Chris Jericho and Edge tonight. Hardy gets in Punk’s face calling him a liar. Punk then delivers the line we’ve all been waiting for, advising Jeff to “just say no.” Awesome!

Match 1 – Ricky Ortiz vs. Finlay

Ortiz gives Finlay some motivational talk. Ortiz is rapidly getting annoying with this whole “rally up” stuff. Finlay, for the most part, dominates the match and gets the duke with the Celtic Cross.

Winner: Finlay

Backstage, Dolph Ziggler and Maria flirt it up. Dolph’s cool and all, but the name needs to go.

Match 2 – R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler

Speaking of things that need to go, Truth’s crowd suck-up tactics are really beginning to get annoying. The match isn’t anything to write home about. Eventually, Ziggler gets the win with his leaping neckbreaker.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Next up is “Word Up” with Cryme Tyme. This is just horrible. They spy Jesse, who’s apparently gone street.

Match 3 – Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Again? Really? Sigh. Remember when Smackdown was good? Feh. Kane wins.

Winner: Kane

Post-match, Kane taunts Rey, gripping the mask momentarily but then just choking him until Great Khali comes out with a chair for the save.

Backstage, Chris Jericho says he’s invoking his rematch clause next week for the IC title. Edge then comes into the picture, and the two cut an absolutely wicked promo.

Match 4 – The Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme

Comparatively speaking this is a good match. Cryme Tyme is looking better in the ring, I’ll give them credit. Shad gets the pin on Smith with the STO.

Winners: Cryme Tyme

Match 5 – Layla/Michelle McCool vs. Melina/Maria

Not a bad women’s match here, with some good action from the faces; but McCool needs to go. Melina wins with her legsplit-pusher-downer -- okay, I have no clue what it’s called. Anyone care to offer up a name for the move?

Winners: Maria/Melina

Backstage, John Morrison and Long chat. The two then break into a Michael Jackson song montage. Methinks Morrison is getting a title shot soon.

Match 6 - E&C v.2.0 vs. CM Punk/Jeff Hardy

Let’s see how this name for Edge and Jericho sticks. Andy, you’re the judge.

The match is, of course, as good as you’d expect from these four. Late in the match, Punk tries to tag Jeff in but Hardy fakes an eye injury. Punk ends up getting speared by Edge for the W by the ‘nucks.

Winners: E&C v2.0

Post-match, Hardy re-enters and takes out Edge. Hardy then plays up his “eye injury” to Punk. Please God, tell me this isn’t leading to a blindfold match.

Well, this was a one-trick pony night for Smackdown, a true rarity. Hopefully next week will be better.