June 15, 2009
RAW: Vince strikes a deal; Orton strikes gold
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
I think the saying is good things come in threes, or is it bad things come in threes? Anyway, tonight’s Raw is a three hour “three-for-all”, with wrestlers from all three brands making appearances, and also featuring three championship matches. You make the call. (And I am getting paid overtime for this right?)
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler inform right from the start of the show from Charlotte, North Carolina, that Vince McMahon is in the house, and he will be making a huge announcement. Cole suspects it will be the naming of a new General Manager, but King seems to think it will be something more.
Match #1 – Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio – Intercontinental Title match
Chris Jericho claims that RAW has gone down the tubes, since he left. And he may be right. Jericho goes on to say he is Rey’s salvation. (I don’t watch Smackdown, so this feud is lost on me.)
Rey wastes no time is getting after Jericho, clotheslining him out of the ring, and then connecting with a leg drop off the top rope, as Jericho tried to re-enter. After a near fall, Jericho steers Rey into the ring post. Mysterio counters Jericho to the floor, but Jericho is able to smash Rey into the announce table.
After the break, Rey fights his way out of the corner with an enziguri, but Jericho avoids the 619, countering into a backbreaker. Jericho tries to pry Rey’s mask off. Rey kicks Jericho off and rolls through a sunset flip, following with a low drop kick. Rey counters the running bulldog, and Jericho crashes into the corner. Rey connects with another drop kick, sending Jericho to the floor. Rey then flies through the ropes and the suicide dive finds its mark. Mysterio powers off the Walls of Jericho, but cannot connect with a 619. Jericho thinks about pulling off his own 619, but Rey is able to recover and hit a springboard moonsault. Rey combos a hurricanrana into the 619, but Jericho counters the resulting West Coast Pop with the Codebreaker. Jericho covers and retains the Intercontinental Title.
Winner via pinfall: Chris Jericho
Josh Matthews pulls double duty tonight as ECW announcer and backstage reporter. Orton doesn’t appreciate Matthews’ recap of last week’s events. Orton says Triple H can’t face him alone, and tonight he will take back what is his. John Cena jumps in with his best reporter’s voice to mock Orton. Cena wants to remind Orton that there are two other men in this match, so he better pay attention. Orton just walks off.
From his office, Vince announces that he will not be naming a new General Manager of RAW. Instead, he is selling Monday Night RAW; apparently someone made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. Vince will clear all this up after the WWE title match, but he does say that at one time “there was no chance is hell” that he would sell to this person.
Match #2 – Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer – ECW Title Match
Christian connects with a spin kick, but is then dropped on his head, after getting caught in the ropes. Dreamer is tossed out of the ring, and Christian flies off the turnbuckle into Dreamer. Christian is taken down by a clothesline out of the corner. Christian misses a move off the top rope, and appears to injury his leg. Dreamer rolls up Christian and gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Tommy Dreamer
The Bella twins and Kelly Kelly are discussing who may have purchased RAW.
Match #3 – John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. The Big Show vs. Triple H – Fatal Four-way WWE Title match
Triple H and Orton immediately head outside the ring and Orton is knocked into the crowd. Inside the ring, Cena goes for a bulldog but Show counters by just tossing him out of the ring.
After the commercials, Show has Cena in one corner, and Orton is handling HHH in another. Hunter dodges a knee drop and sends Orton to the floor. Hunter teams with Cena to eliminate Show from the ring. For the moment, Hunter and Cena are left to face each other. Hunter and Cena trade shoulder blocks, and then Cena hits a sidewalk slam. Triple H counters the five knuckle shuffle into a spinebuster. Hunter looks for a pedigree, but Cena counters into the Attitude Adjustment, only to have Show wipe them both out. Outside the ring, Orton is dissecting Triple H, slamming him into the ring steps. Show with a cover on Cena, but Orton breaks it up, and then scurries from the ring. Cena and Triple H are caught in Show’s grasp, but both men counter into a suplex. Orton runs back in and knocks down Cena and Triple H, and then measures Show up for the punt. Show catches Orton and takes him down with a clothesline, and then pummels him into the corner with fists. Show head butts Triple H to the floor, knocks Orton from the ring, and then slams Cena. Show climbs to the middle rope and splashes Cena. Orton breaks the pin, and Show tosses him from the ring. Hunter is caught with a spear from Show, but is able to kick out of the pin. Shows climbs to the middle rope, but HHH rolls away from the splash. Orton sizes up on RKO on Show, but the giant swats him away. HHH hits Show with the Pedigree, but is then caught with the Attitude Adjustment from Cena. Show is covered by Cena, but kicks out. Cena hits the AA on show, and covers. Orton breaks the pin, and tosses Cena out of the ring. Orton hits the RKO on Show, and covers. Orton gets the three count, and is the new WWE Champion.
Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton
Vince heads to the ring, so we can find out who “bought” RAW. Vince says that the time was right to sell RAW, and he won’t let emotions get involved in a business decision. The new owner of Monday Night RAW is Donald Trump. (ARE YOU KIDDING ME! REALLY! COME ON!) Trump appears on the Titantron, and says it is time the WWE Universe gets something back. Trump announces that for the first time in the 17 year history of RAW the show will air commercial free. (Um, is that really a good idea? Can WWE creative really fill over 120 minutes of air time?) Trump says next week he will be on RAW to personally oversee the show. Trump brings up the Wrestlemania head shaving, and Vince cuts off the feed. Vince was going to give his farewell address, but is too overcome, so he will do it next week. But first we need to name a GM, and a number one contender. Tonight, there will now be a ten man battle royal for the right to face Orton at the Great American Bash.
Match #4 – Mickie James vs. Rosa Mendes
Rosa sends Beth Phoenix away and heads to the ring by herself, but that doesn’t stop Maryse from coming to ringside. Mickie James spikes Rosa with a DDT and covers for the win. Maryse doesn’t seem impressed, but still wants nothing to do with Mickie.
Winner via pinfall: Mickie James
We return from break (Year One in theaters Friday!) to find Hornswoggle and Goldust with the T-Shirt cannon. The Miz spoils the fun. (I see a t-shirt to the groin in someone’s future.) The Miz has a message for Trump, make The Miz the new face of Monday Night Raw. He calls Cena the past, while he is the money maker of the future. Tonight, Miz says he will toss Cena over the top rope and win the number one contender spot. The Miz won’t stop there, he wants it all -- the endorsements, the movies, everything. Miz orders Goldust and Horny from the ring. Goldust says he is disappointed in the creativity of the Miz, and then mocks him. Goldust thinks a name change is in order, “The Whiz.” Miz responds by calling Goldust is irrelevant, and no one would care if he beat him down. The Miz says he isn’t afraid to takes risks, and takes a cheap shot at Goldust. He then picks up the T-shirt gun and shoots Hornswoggle IN THE GROIN! (I was right, but I thought for sure it was going to be the Miz.)
Josh Matthews interviews World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk, who defends his decision to cash in the Money in the Bank on Jeff Hardy and win the title. Matt Hardy interrupts, and tells Punk not to feel any regret for his actions. Punk calls out Hardy for never winning the Money in the Bank or the Heavyweight Title.
Match #5 – Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk – World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat match
Punk sends Edge to the floor and flies over the top rope, crashing into the Rated R superstar. Hardy follows with an over the top move, landing on Punk and Edge. Punk takes a drop kick to the back. Punk explodes out of the corner with a clothesline, but cannot get the three count on Hardy. Edge returns to the ring and greets Punk and Hardy with big boots. Hardy is dumped to the floor, but Edge cannot make the pin on Hardy. Punk is set on the top turnbuckle, but Hardy pulls Edge off him. Instead Hardy goes for the move, but Edge gets Hardy on his shoulders. Punk attempts a flying clothesline, but Hardy is able to duck it and rolls up Edge. Punk crashes and burns, but Edge kicks out of the pin.
After the break (I won’t miss commercials interrupting matches next week, but how will I know what movies are coming out? Year One in theaters Friday!), Punk hits Edge and Hardy with knees, and then tries to pin both men, but is unsuccessful each time. Punk goes for the GTS on Hardy, but Edge breaks it up with a chop block. Edge then locks in the Sharp Shooter on Punk, but Hardy is able to lock in a sleeper on Edge. Punk breaks free of Edge, and breaks up a pin by Hardy. Punk leaps a spear by Edge, and goes for a sunset flip. Hardy helps him get it over with a clothesline, and then breaks the pin with a dropkick. Hardy drills Edge with an atomic drop, and then drop kicks Punk, but still cannot get the pin. Hardy looks for a chinbreaker, but Punk counters with a knee to the face. Hardy pulls Edge off the apron, and Punk is dropped by the neck on the ropes. Hardy climbs the turnbuckle, but is pushed off by Edge. Punk counters the spear from Edge with a powerslam. Punk leaps Edge and Hardy takes the spear. Punk breaks the cover on Hardy, and pushes Edge into the corner. Punk is pushed off the turnbuckle and lands hard on the ring steps. Punk is down and being checked by medical staff. Edge and Hardy collide with lateral presses, and both are down. Hardy fights off Edge, hitting the Whisper in the Wind, but Punk breaks the fall. Hardy pulls Punk to the outside, but is then rolled up by Edge with an inside cradle. Hardy kicks out and hits Edge with the Twist of Fate. Hardy climbs the turnbuckle landing the swanton bomb. Jeff covers, but is pulled out of the ring by Punk. Hardy is tossed into the steps, and Punk rolls into the ring to cover Edge. Punk gets the win and retains the title.
Winner via pinfall: CM Punk
After the match, Smackdown GM Teddy Long walks out on stage. Long announces CM Punk will face Jeff Hardy one on one at the Great American Bash.
Match #6 – The Hart Dynasty vs. Carlito and Primo
Legacy joins Cole and King at the announce table to check out Carlito and Primo, whom they have a title shot with. Carlito almost picks up the win after the backstabber, but Legacy hits the ring, and dump Primo and Carlito from the ring.
Winner via DQ: Carlito and Primo Colon
Santino is sitting with Vince and the chairman wants to know what he wants. Santino is worried what will happen to Santina when The Donald takes over. Vince thinks Trump will like her a lot. Vince then fields a call from Trump, who wants to make an announcement later tonight. Vince says he hates billionaires with massive egos. Santino mutters Vince must hate himself, and then tries to back pedal and then just leaves.
Match #7 – 10 Man Battle Royal – Number One Contender – Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes, MVP, Matt Hardy, William Regal, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, The Big Show, John Cena and Triple H
Big Show eliminates Matt Hardy, MVP and. The Miz is chokeslammed, and rolls out under the ropes. Show is then ganged up on and is sent over the top rope by everyone left. Cena takes out Legacy to save Triple H. Cena and Triple H then stand toe to toe and hammer away at each other. Both men take each other down with a double clothesline. Legacy then eliminates Kofi and William Regal. DiBiase goes after Triple H while Rhodes targets Cena. DiBiase is eliminated by Cena, but Rhodes skins the cat to stay alive. Triple H takes notice and clotheslines Rhodes over the rope to the floor. Triple H counters the Attitude Adjustment with the pedigree, but is jumped by Legacy. The refs restore order, but Triple H is down in the ring. The Miz emerges from the floor, and looks to eliminate Cena and Hunter. The Miz charges, and is low bridged right over the ropes. Hunter then tosses Cena to win a shot at Randy Orton in two weeks at the (no longer Great American) Bash.
Winner via elimination: Triple H
After the match, Trump appears on the Titantron to congratulate Triple H. Trump doesn’t want to wait until the Bash, so next week Triple H will take on Orton for the title in a last man standing match.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is shocked his bid of $8, used shoulder pads, and a beat up copy of The Wrestling Observer from 1986 didn’t win him RAW. Follow Dale on Twitter @DPlummer627