June 11, 2009
WWE Superstars: Jericho rules the night
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
Maybe WWE Superstars isn't all that bad. After all, three whole matches inside of 60 minutes, no skits and lots of video montage filler. Am I turning over a new leaf? Ya think? I smell a swerve coming.
Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler are ringside and, good Lord, a ladies, er, Divas match - and a tag team match at that. There goes any momentum I had on thinking this show was going to be halfway decent.
Match #1 - The Bella Twins vs. Beth Phoenix & Rosa Mendes
These Bella girls like to grunt and groan a lot. First time I've seen these gals. Not too shabby. Lawler needs to stop it with the lame one-liners i.e. the Bellas contribute to global warming. Ugh.
Beth pins Nikki after her finishing move called the, uh, I don't know, front face drop.
Winners via pinfall: Beth Phoenix & Rosa Mendes
The Batista-Randy Orton-Legacy-Triple H situation from Raw is recapped. Tell me why Batista and his veins the size of a hose and his zero charisma are champion again.
Evan Bourne is gearing up in the back for the next match.
Kofi Kingston is this week's filler montage. If Vince allows him to get a proper push, he could be a real stud.
Match #2 - Evan Bourne vs. Zack Ryder
Bourne, ribs taped and all, is selling the beating from the World's Ugliest Man, Mark Henry, on ECW. And does anyone else think Ryder is just a cheap, bad Brian Christopher rip-off?
This is actual a decent match ruined by Matt Striker's and Nosebleed Matthews' commentary, or lack thereof. Near falls dot the end of the match, but when the two trade blows on the top rope and Ryder falls, the shooting star press gets the duke.
Winner via pinfall: Evan Bourne
Chris Jericho hits the ring and it's main event time after the commercial break.
Match #3 - John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham just don't have the "it" factor together. At least this match was satisfactory. Morrison and his flippy-type moves seem a little girlie to me. But that's just me.
Y2J controls the second half of the match and the crowd boos and boos. Morrison rolls up Jericho, but the I-C champ reverses it, albeit sloppily, grabs the tights and that's all she wrote. To this day, I always wonder why a pull of the tights is "leverage." Maybe the same way a wrestler going through a table actually breaks his fall. Hmmm...
Winner via pinfall: Chris Jericho
Another Thursday, another hour I wish I could have back.
'Til next week, loyal SLAM! Wrestling readers!