May 27, 2009
ECW: Sorting out ECW Championship mess
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on ECW on Sci-Fi: It's big six-man tag team action as Christian, Finlay and Tommy Dreamer team up to face Jack Swagger and the Hart Dynasty. However, one of the combatants would not make it to the match, resulting in a handicap match. Also, after the failed ECW Championship match on Superstars, the title scene is cleared up. Should be a good one!
And we are LIVE! from Los Angeles. Josh Mathews and Matt Striker are our hosts. This show is presented in WWEHD (TV-PG,V).
The ECW Champion Christian makes his way to the ring for a promo. He compares Jack Swagger to a fading reality TV star -- a dork that won't go away. Of course, Swagger ruined the ECW Championship match on Superstars and Christian says he's going to do something about it tonight and calls the former champion out. After a few moments, Swagger saunters to the ring.
Swagger says Christian's time as ECW Champion is running out. He says ECW General Manager Tiffany has granted him an ECW Championship match at Extreme Rules. They argue briefly before Tiffany hits the ring to zero reaction. She says Swagger forgot to mention the match at Extreme Rules will be a triple threat match. The third man, of course, is Tommy Dreamer. As Dreamer comes out, Swagger points out that Dreamer's contract expires the day before Extreme Rules. But Tiffany says Dreamer has signed a one-day extension to compete in the match. And the match will be contested under hardcore rules.
Dreamer struts to the ring and acts absolutely crazy. Posing, etc. Swagger takes a run at him but Dreamer flips him over the top. He and Christian shake hands and then Dreamer throws Christian over the top.
Match #1 - Kozlov (Moscow, Russia) vs. Russ Taylor & Joey Munos (403 pounds)
Oh God. Kozlov on live TV. Striker says Kozlov requested this handicap match. What is with every other match on WWE TV being a handicap match lately?
This was your typical Kozlov squash. He kills them both in like 90 seconds.
Winner via pinfall: Kozlov
At least we got that out of the way early.
Backstage, Christian is taking umbrage to being thrown out of the ring by Dreamer. Dreamer says he did it because they were ignoring him. Christian says he's the champ. Dreamer says not for long and then they start brawling before Finlay (in a red jersey?) breaks them up.
Match #2 - Mark Henry (Silsbee, Texas) vs. Evan Bourne (St. Louis, MO)
This is your typical power vs. high flier match in the early going. Of course, Bourne is getting the short end of the stick. Henry is just destroying Bourne, so much so that Tony Atlas is yelling at the ref to ring the bell from the outside. The crowd tries to fire up behind Bourne but Henry puts a kabosh on that. Several minutes into this match and Bourne's offense has consisted of like three kicks.
Henry charges at Bourne in the corner but Bourne moves and starts to get going. Henry rolls out of the ring and does a moonsault off the apron. Henry catches him, but Bourne slithers out and pushes Henry into the post. Bourne then goes to the top and hits the flying double knee drop. Bourne scrambles to get back in the ring as the referee's count gets higher. Bourne's in at nine and Henry cannot make it.
Winner via countout: Evan Bourne
So it looks like Finlay suffered an eye injury breaking up the backstage brawl. Which nobody saw because they cut to commercial really quick. Great job. He's being held out of the main event tonight by the doctors.
Tiffany is backstage with Dreamer and Christian. She is unhappy with what happened to Finlay. As punishment, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE YET ANOTHER HANDICAP MATCH.
Match #3 - Tyson Kidd (Calgary, Alberta), David Hart Smith (Calgary, Alberta) & Jack Swagger (Perry, Okla.) vs. Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, N.Y.) & Christian (Toronto, Ontario)
FYI: Kidd, Smith and Natalya are now called the "Hart Dynasty." Natalya grabs a mic and cuts a promo about the Dynasty and who they are. Also, Smith is now sporting blank trunks and pink kneepads. This is high quality stuff.
Smith works on Dreamer with a headlock but Dreamer escapes. Smith is able to maintain control, though and back Dreamer into the bad corner. Kidd checks in and almost allows Dreamer to get to Christian but keeps him back. Smith comes back in and hits a standing vertical suplex on Dreamer. Swagger comes in and uses his wrestling to control Dreamer, but Dreamer slowly works toward his corner, only to have Swagger suckerpunch Christian. Kidd comes in but can't stop Dreamer and he gets the hot tag to Christian to, again, zero reaction whatsoever.
Christian hits DJ Gabriel's finisher (I'm never getting that up) and dispatches of Swagger and Smith. He lands a missile dropkick but Smith breaks up the cover at two. Dreamer flies back in and dispatches of Smith. Kidd tags Swagger, who sends Christian shoulder-first into the post. On the rebound, Swagger hits the gut-wrench powerbomb for the win.
Winners via pinfall: Jack Swagger, Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith
After the match, Dreamer attacks Swagger from behind, but that's quickly squashed by the Hart Dynasty, who hit the Hart Attack on Dreamer. They all celebrate as we go off the air.
Matt Bishop can be reached at email@example.com. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.