May 7, 2009
WWE Superstars: Jericho tops Morrison
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
Week 4 of WWE Superstars and Edge is on the card. Look for that event to be the lone highlight. Or maybe, just maybe, WWE could shock us for once. Nah.
Tonight's show starts sans pyro, but Edge's entrance does elicit fireworks. Todd Grisham and Jim Ross hype Edge's title defense on May 17 at Judgment Day against Jeff Hardy and we go to the ring for the latest installment of The Cutting Edge.
Edge brings out Hardy as his guest and my money is on someone left lying in the ring at the end of this segment. Nothing too shabby here as Edge goes on his typical rant, the crowd chants for Hardy and, wait for it, the two throw down and Edge eats a Twist of Fate and a Swanton Bomb. The obligatory staredown sends the show to a commercial.
Match #1 - Kelly Kelly & Santina Marella vs. Beth Phoenix & Rosa Mendes
This show just turned into Raw - a skit opening and then a Divas match. Yawn.
This match actually reminds me of something you'd see at a carnival. Not much to write about here as Kelly pins Rosa after a leg drop to the back of the head.
Winners via pinfall: Kelly Kelly & Santina Marella
Finlay and the new-look Zack Ryder are backstage getting ready for their match next. I'm ready for bed.
Josh Matthews and Matt Striker (and I'm sure a box of Kleenex) are at ringside for the ECW match.
Match #2 - Finlay vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder's new gimmick is one of those that's been recycled for years, only this version almost has a Brian Christopher feel to it.
Finlay gets the win after a Celtic Cross in a less-than-average bout.
Winner via pinfall: Finlay
Again, I think the best part of WWE programming are the commercials. The new Burger King commercial with the Star Trek glasses is solid. Heck, even the 5-Hour Energy commercials are better than any WWE match.
A CM Punk video montage is some nice filler, as is what transpired between John Morrison and Chris Jericho last week on SmackDown. Morrison and Y2J square-off next in this week's main event.
Match #3 - John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho
If Grisham calls Morrison an A-lister one more time, I'm going to get out the ether rag. Jericho takes a clothesline over the top and the match goes to the floor. Back inside, the see-saw match has a slow pace. Think of a glacier. Morrison goes for the springboard kick, but Jericho pushes him over the top rope and into a commercial break.
Morrison is on fire with punches and gets a near-fall. Jericho gets Morrison in the Boston crab, er, Walls of Jericho, but Morrison quickly gets to the bottom rope. Morrison gets another near-fall after a split-legged corkscrew moonsault. After Morrison hits the springboard kick, Shelton Benjamin's music hits and then he shows up on the Titan Tron to distract Morrison, who turns right into a Code Breaker.
Winner via pinfall: Chris Jericho
Benjamin comes out on stage and he and Morrison, on cue, engage in a staredown. Par for the course. And I assume this will be the next big two-week feud in WWE. Fascinating, I know.
'Til next week, loyal SLAM! Wrestling readers!
Matt Mackinder is back from sunny Florida and enjoyed the week off from the WWE nonsense. Email Matt at firstname.lastname@example.org.