April 23, 2009
WWE Superstars: Edge-Kofi makes show worthwhile
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
WWE Superstars debuted last week to horrid review from Yours Truly. What does Week 2 bring? Let's just say expectations are not high at all.
Taped this week in the UK, we again waste no time in getting to the ring with Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
Match #1 - Rey Mysterio & CM Punk vs. The Big Show & Kane
Show and Rey start out, but after Kane tags in and gets sent to the floor by Rey, commercial break. Isn't it funny that the best thing about WWE these days are the commercials that are shown during the show?
Back in the ring, Show throws Mysterio and Cole goes nuts on how strong Show is. Impressive. Kane and Show then dominate Rey in the corner and Cole gags as Kane puts the boots to Rey. Lawler then makes a brutal joke in saying that Show was once Rey's height - when he was born. Groan.
Kane gets Rey in a bear hug, but he fights out and gets the tag to Punk. Two knee lifts in the corner see Kane wobbly. Punk then goes up top, but instead jumps at Show, who swats him away and into a choke slam by Kane for the surprise three-count.
Winners via pinfall: The Big Show & Kane
I'm falling asleep here, people. Sadly, we still have 45 minutes left.
A video tribute to Jeff Hardy leads us into the second match. Boy, maybe those rumors of Jeff jetting WWE is true and the Fed is doing all they can to keep him around.
Match #2 - Finlay & Hornswoggle vs. Tyson Kidd & Natalya (Mixed Tag Team Match)
Matt Striker calls Kidd a product of the Hart Dungeon "training center." Never heard it called that, but whatever. This is WWE remember. And Josh Matthews sounds like he's trying too hard to call a match. I mean, he says Kidd and Natalya are trying to be like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
The match goes all of two minutes (if that) and Hornswoggle pins Kidd after a Tadpole Splash.
Winners via pinfall: Finlay & Hornswoggle
Finlay gets the crowd to sing "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling" to give Hornswoggle a proper send-off to Raw. Geez, first Trevor Murdoch, now Finlay? Good God. The two embrace in the ring and then as Finlay heads up the ramp, Hornswoggle bolts after him and gets another hug. Singing and hugging? Forget the PG rating, this stuff is freaking G rated.
The Raw Rebound shows Randy Orton beating Triple H this past Monday. Looks like it might have been a halfway-decent match. Hmmm...
More Raw "highlights" as we see Edge giving John Cena a Con-Chair-To. Cena is in the back with Todd Grisham and Cena is very mellow and takes the mic. He looks like he's going to cry. Cena then says his scripted lines. I missed most of it as I was too busy trying to figure out why I volunteered to cover this show.
Match #3 - Kofi Kingston vs. Edge
Let's hope Edge can end this show on a good note. Edge and Kofi go back and forth early on until Kingston gets knocked off the top rope and pseudo-crotched. Then, yep, commercial time. Woo-hoo!
Kingston is in control after the break and hits his usual moves with a sweet back leg sweep-like maneuver and then a DDT then each get near-falls. Edge fights back and goes for the Sharpshooter and Kofi counters it into a nice cradle for another two. Both men get up and Kofi turns right into a spear. The three-count is elementary at this point.
Winner via pinfall: Edge
Not much to write home about this week, though put anyone in the ring with Edge and he can make them look like a main-event talent. Kofi is getting there, but Edge makes him look like he's already there. Their match was pretty good and almost made me want to see it go another 10 minutes.
Did I just say something positive about WWE? It must be old age setting in...
Oh well. 'Til next week. Same time, same place, but Matt Bishop will be pinch-hitting. Good luck, buddy. ECW and Superstars in the same week. Ouch.
Matt Mackinder is off to sunny Florida next week with the fam for a much-needed vacation. Email Matt at firstname.lastname@example.org.