ECW: Christian returns to WWE
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on ECW on Sci-Fi: There's a new kid on the block and he's gunning for the ECW Championship. That's right, Captain Charisma himself, Christian, makes his return to WWE and he's coming for ECW Champion Jack Swagger. They waste no time getting down to business, meeting in a non-title match in the evening's main event. Should be a good one!
And we are LIVE! from Fresno, Calif. 2008 Slammy Award winners for "Announce Team of the Year" Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are our hosts. This show is presented in WWEHD (TV-PG,V).
And we are immediately joined by ECW Champion Jack Swagger. He does not look like a happy camper, considering Finlay has made him his personal whipping boy the last two weeks.
He says he's a victim and it's unfair that he has to defend his title at No Way Out against Finlay. He then calls out Hornswaggle.
But instead, who comes out but CHRISTIAN. Swagger can't believe it.
Christian says he's out here to save Swagger's life because he doesn't want him to get electrocuted from all the saliva he's spitting into the mic. He then makes fun of Swagger's lisp. Christian says the main reason he's come to ECW is for Swagger's ECW Championship. He officially challenges the winner of Sunday's title match.
Swagger says that means he's challenging him -- and that Christian is no threat to him. Christian hits him with the mic and takes off. Swagger is definitely not a happy camper now.
Swagger is backstage with Theodore Long and Long reveals that he signed Christian. Swagger says he's taking off but Long says he's got a match tonight -- against Christian!
Match #1 - Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, N.Y.) vs. The Miz (Cleveland, Ohio)
Dreamer is no longer the Innovator of Violence. He is now the Innovator of Extreme.
After the verbal thrashing and beatdown he took last week, Dreamer comes out on fire, but that doesn't last for more than two minutes before Miz stands landing. Miz hits a kick to the gut and locks in a headlock. Dreamer gets out with a backdrop and lands some body shots, a clothesline and a bulldog.
Dreamer hits a neckbreaker but Miz gets his foot on the rope at two. Morrison sprints around the ring to distract Dreamer. He ends up getting knocked off the apron but walks right into a face-onto-shoulder drop for the fall.
Winner via pinfall: The Miz
Long is backstage with Tiffany when Jamie Noble comes in, concerned about The Boogeyman's use of worms. They get a knock on the door for "an appointment" and it's Natalya and Tyson. He'll have his first match tonight.
Finlay and Hornswaggle head to Christian's dressing room. Hornswaggle runs a few laps around Christian. Finlay welcomes him to ECW. Finlay postures for his potential title match with Christian should he win the title.
We get an Evan Bourne video package. He will return from his ankle injury soon.
Match #2 - Tyson Kidd (Calgary, Alberta) vs. Bao Nguyen (180 pounds)
Of course, Kidd is the last graduate of the Hart Dungeon, Striker informs us.
Kidd hits a big kick to the back and follows it with a kick to the chest. He is literally kicking the tar out of him. He goes to a chinlock which Nguyen gets out of. Kidd hits a running dropkick to the head and then a springboard elbow for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Tyson Kidd
Match #3 - Jack Swagger (Perry, Okla.) vs. Christian (Toronto, Ontario)
Swagger lands a quick double leg takedown and goes to back control. He slams Christian while Captain Charisma goes to the ropes for a break. Swagger pushes Christian and Christian slaps him hard in the face. Christian kicks Swagger in the gut and lands a flying sunset flip for two.
Now Finlay and Hornswaggle head to the ring to take a peek at the proceedings.
Finlay and Hornswaggle join Grisham and Striker on commentary ("A cavalcade of stars," says Grisham). Hornswaggle makes weird noises into the mic. In the ring, Swagger has a waist lock on Christian, but he elbows his way out. Swagger easily regains control and goes back to back control. Christian reverses but gets driven into the corner. Swagger lifts him to the top turnbuckle. He tries to come up but Christian hits his way out and hits a great tornado DDT that lays Swagger out. He's a tad slow to the cover and gets a long two count.
In a great exchange, Striker asks Finlay if he's taking any notes on Swagger for their match on Sunday. This ensued:
Finlay: I never take notes!
Striker: That's why you're not a good student!
Grisham: How much residual damage will be done by Christian?
Finlay: A lot, I hope.
Christian goes to the top rope and goes for a diving headbutt but misses. Swagger rolls him up for two. He goes for the Unprettier but Swagger counters. Christian charges but runs right into a belly-to-belly for two.
Swagger goes for a Vader Bomb but misses by a mile. They go out to the apron and Swagger goes for a German suplex on the apron but Christian gets out and sends Swagger into the front of the announce table. Christian comes at Swagger but Swagger sends him right into Finlay and Hornswaggle. Swagger rolls him back into the ring and hits a big boot.
Swagger tries to undo the top turnbuckle pad but the referee stops him. Instead, he goes to the other side and undoes that one. Christian rolls him up for two. He goes for the Unprettier again but is reversed into an electric chair and heads to the exposed turnbuckle. Hornswaggle hops up on the apron, distracting our esteemed official yet again. With the referee distracted, Finlay clubs Swagger in the knee with the Shillelagh. With Swagger staggered, Christian hits the Unprettier.
Winner via pinfall: Christian
Very good match.
E-mail Matt about ECW, wrestling, MMA or hockey at email@example.com. Please include your name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.