December 7, 2008
Bringing back Slammy Awards -- a good, bad idea
On Monday Night Raw, the WWE is attempting to boost ratings by bringing back an age-old concept, the Slammy Awards. The company is pimping the show as being a form of the Oscars -- only better.
While some may argue that the Slammy is a "real" award, much like (or unlike) the WWE Hall of Fame, Monday night should provide entertainment the over-30 crowd cringes at and the 25-under crowd yearns for.
Two of SLAM! Wrestling's regular writers, Matt Bishop and Matt Mackinder, debate the Slammys and each give valid takes on the show, as well as their picks for each award.
Bishop's editorial will be in regular text, while Mackinder's will be italicized.
Finally, World Wrestling Entertainment is putting the 'E' back in WWE, presenting the always-entertaining Slammy Awards for the first time in 11 years this Monday on RAW.
To me, the Slammys always highlighted the fun side of WWE. Who will ever forget the epic performance of If You Only Knew or the first incarnation of Vince McMahon hilariously shaking his backside during his memorable performance of Stand Back?
Funny you should mention Vince because knowing his Idaho-sized ego, he makes his return from the dead (again) tomorrow night and makes the show all about him. And maybe Triple H, too. But I do think all the wrestlers, er, Superstars, er entertainers, should do another version of If You Only Knew, but change the chorus to 'If you only knew/who's getting fired next/you'd be checking the Internet message boards/and then you'd go and text.'
Once the '90s hit, Todd Pettengill's show-opening serenades brought excitement to the program. If we're only so lucky, maybe today's version of Pettengill, the venerable Todd Grisham, can continue his hilarity and take to the stage a perform a little ditty.
If Grisham gets on stage, God help us. Maybe Matt Striker can add some backup, or maybe the Boogeyman makes an appearance. That said, the early '90s were a unique time in the WWE and to try and re-create that is a sham in my opinion.
How can you not look back with fondness at the time Owen Hart claimed his second Slammy Award, flat out stealing the award for Best Bow Tie, claiming, "I did it again. I have nobody to thank, once again I did it all by my sweet little self. Two-time Slammy Award winner! I knew it! I'm a winner! I did it! Wooooo!"
I agree with you here, Bish. Owen Hart was the Slammys back in the day.
On top of that, he proceeded to goad one of his opponents the following night at WrestleMania 13, Vader: "You know what Vader, you don't have two Slammys like I do because you're losers and we're winners, me and my Slammys! Woooo!"
See my comment above. Owen was gold and I still can't believe he's no longer with us.
How can you not want to see the Slammys after seeing inspired performances like that?
OK, now the gloves are off. Morrison and Miz are brutal. A reality TV "star" and a Jim Morrison rip-off as a tag team? Ridiculous. I realize you dig these clowns (and probably Morrison's ab bling) because you have nothing better to do on a Tuesday night, but come on, man. I do dislike the fact this show is on Raw. It should be a separate show on a different night.
Aside from my love for the Shaman of Sexy and the Chick Magnet, what makes the Slammys actually worthwhile here in 2008 is the fact that WWE had its best and most memorable year in quite a few, making this a prime opportunity to hand out some hardware.
I wouldn't say most memorable, but maybe one with too many title changes, too many (or not enough) drug suspensions, some new guy named Jack Swagger, Jim Ross getting demoted to Smackdown, Randy Orton flying 300 feet in a motorcycle "accident," Jeff Hardy diving 50 feet onto padding, I mean, Orton, Tommy Dreamer and MVP engulfed in losing streaks, John Cena as champ when he's not banged up and more no-talent Divas. How do you hand out hardware for crap like that?
While this year's edition of the Slammys will be a bit different, I'm sure it will no doubt live up to the hype and pizazz the previous four editions have achieved.
Like I said previously, you can't dig up the past. The pizazz and glory should stay buried because there is nothing that even resembles pizazz at this day in age. Maybe WrestleMania and Ric Flair's robes, but that's about it.
Fans take hiatuses all the time. Some for good. And WWE overbooks everything. Titles mean nothing, Finlay wears a felt hat now, Dolph Ziggler (?!?), HHH has been champion way too many times and still passes the drug tests (same for Batista) and is it necessary for each match to have a run-in???
At the same time, I'm the guy who wishes Gillberg would come back and work a part-time schedule.
Yeah, and Goldust, too. Oh wait...
It'll be great to relive CM Punk's unexpected title win or the jaw-dropping moment that was Jeff Hardy performing the Swanton Bomb off the RAW set.
Yeah, two moments out of 52 weeks worth re-living. How sweet that we have to sit through a three-hour snoozefest, though.
Ah yes, college. I remember those days during the Attitude Era. Memories indeed.
And, these days, isn't that what professional wrestling is all about?
I think the term "professional wrestling" has pretty much gone by the wayside in WWE. You want "wrestling," then check out Spike TV on Thursday nights or Ring Of Honor.
And now, for our Slammy Awards pics for 2008, going off WWE's list of nominees.