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Smackdown: Huntstermania's running wild, brother!
By
JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling
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Welcome to a special Halloween edition of Smackdown... I guess. I mean really,
what makes this episode any more special than another? I've never really seen
the value in promoting one show as being any better than another, just because
it coincides with a holiday. Then again, it was an All Hallow's Eve that launched
John Cena's career...
We start off with Big Show chatting about wanting to get at The Undertaker and nursing
his wound from the Gogoplata. After his time is up, we're left to Vickie and
Chavo Guerrero. Vickie announces that the Undertaker will be in a casket match
tonight... against Chavito. Uh oh, I feel a suspension or "future endeavours"
in his future... Guerrero's maniacal laughter was well done though.
Match 1 - Miz and Morrison vs. Los Colons
Okay... are MnM v.2 even assigned to a show anymore? Not that I'm complaining,
but this is getting a bit out-of-hand. The only good that could possibly come
out of this is the relegation of all tag teams to one brand.
The match between these guys, as you would expect, is pretty damn solid. If
this is a potential feud, I'm looking forward to it. The finish, which sees
Morrison interfere with a Carlito move leading to the Reality Check, seems to
indicate that we'll get a revenge match in the next couple weeks.
Winners: Miz and Morrison
Backstage, a magician does the woman-in-the-box trick with Maria, which doesn't
seem to impress onlookers Jesse and Festus. And this is supposed to make Maria
look like a credible contender to Michelle McCool's title how?
Match 2 - John Wayne Yang vs. The Brian Kendrick
Yes, you read that right. Apparently, Yang has new birth names.
The match is okay, I guess. The problem is that I, the Smackdown viewer, have
been trained by WWE to not care about Cruiserweight matches. It'll take
more Rey Mysterios and Evan Bournes and fewer Kendricks and Yangs to sway my
opinion back into liking these high impact matches.
Yang, at one point, appears to have the match won after his Moonsault Press,
but Zeke pulls Kendrick out of the ring for the...DQ? Lame!
Winner: Yang (DQ)
Post-match, Yang attacks the duo, but is summarily beaten by Zeke for his troubles.
Backstage, Kung Fu Naki talks to The Great Khali for some love advice. Ranjin
Singh, though, no sells the request. He's evil! Indeed!
Next up, it's time for Mike Awesome v.2's segment. Khali kisses another... chick
and dies a little inside, as we all do for having to watch this dreck.
Match 3 - Hardyz/Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry/Kane/MVP
Okay, enough already. The joke is old. MVP can't win, blah blah blah. I refuse
to review another match of his until WWE drops this ridiculous attitude to
one of their most promising stars. I'm just saying.
Winners: Hardyz/Rey Mysterio
A Kizarny prizomo is then shzown. Yay.
Next up is Vladimir Kozlov, who rips the WWE fans for not voting him in for
the Cyber Sunday match. This of course, brings out Triple H, who goes into full-out
Real American mode, bashing Russia. Just when I expect Hunter Hogan to start
asking, "What'cha gonna do, brother?" Vickie comes out and tells the
two to go their separate ways.
Match 4 - Natalya/Maryse/Victoria vs. Michelle McCool/Maria/Brie Bella
Oh look, they're still in costumes. Joy! We get the usual Bella switch leading
to a hot tag to McCool. At one point, Maria blindtags in and hits a cross body
on Victoria for the duke. McCool didn't look to happy about it. This, by the
way Michael Hayes, is the proper way to put over a potential title threat.
Winners: McCool/Maria/Bella
Match 5 - Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero (Casket Match)
Despite interference from Show, Undertaker prevails, and in a manner that was
so emphatic, that I really do think Chavo's career in WWE is either done or
on hold.
Winner: The Undertaker
To close the show, Vickie is seen talking to a person who is off camera, saying
they will get a WWE Title shot if they beat 'Taker next week. That person, obviously,
is Kozlov.
Summing up, there's way too much here that bugged me. Between non-sensical
garbage and a horrible USA vs. Russia promo, my brief moments of enjoyment from
tonight's broadcast were just that -- brief. We'll see if WWE can improve their
booking in time for next week's episode.
