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COMMENT





Raw: A DX reunion just before No Mercy
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


If WWE airs a Pay-per-View and no one watches does it count? No Mercy is this Sunday, and I don’t even think creative cares. The final installment of RAW before No Mercy comes to us from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and Michael Cole calls it a monumental week; I beg to differ.

Match #1 – Batista vs. Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix

Santino breaks out the Honk-o-meter and shows he is only 58 weeks away from tying the Honky Tonk Man’s record. Santino then debuts the "Brain Barometer." Santino shows he has 10 trillion brains cells, while the Animal has 12.

Batista starts off with a clothesline and then powers Marella into the corner. The Animal nails a spinebuster and follows with the Batista Bomb. Batista covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Batista

After the bell, Phoenix yells at Batista on the apron, allowing JBL to sneak in from the crowd and hit a clothesline from Wall Street.

The Grish is with HBK for interview time. HBK cuts off Grish to talk about Lance Cade. Michaels won’t let Cade show how good he is at his expense. HBK then cuts the normal "I will win" speech. The Grish asks about the partner for tonight’s match. Michaels shoots down any shot of Batista. First Micheals teases Hulk Hogan, then Stone Cold, Bret Hart (of all people), and then says he wants a partner that likes him.

Match #2 – JTG w/ Shad vs. The Miz w/ Morrison

JTG and Miz start off with standing switches, and then fight in the corner. JTG drops down and punches Miz in the face, but Miz recovers and hangs JTG up on the ropes. Miz hits a clothesline in the corner. JTG fights out of a head lock, only to get clotheslined. JTG connects with punches and follows with a leap frog leg drop. He then hits a leg drop, but Miz kicks out of the pin. Morrison hops up on the apron, only to be taken down by Shad, but it is enough of a distraction for Miz to hit the Reality Check and covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: The Miz

Jamie Noble runs into Jillian Hall backstage and asks her to be his partner for tonight’s match. Jillian shoots him down and then serenades him with a rendition of Loser. Dolph Ziggler introduces himself and Noble storms off.

Match #3 – Jamie Noble vs. Paul and Katie Lea Burchill

Before the match, William Regal walks out on stage with Layla to watch the match. Noble still doesn’t have a partner, until Mickie James hits the ring. Paul takes it to Noble, driving him into the corner. Burchill hits a clothesline and tags his sister in to make a quick cover. Noble kicks out and Mickie tags in. James hits snapmare, but is then tripped up by Paul from the apron. James breaks out of a hold and hits a neckbreaker. Noble and Paul get the tags, and Noble takes down the bigger man with dropkicks and then a slam. Noble climbs to the top and finds his mark with a missile dropkick. Noble gets the pin, but Katie Lea breaks it up. Noble locks in an armbar and Burchill taps.

Winner via submission: Jamie Noble and Mickie James

Cody Rhodes, Manu, and Ted Dibiase are looking for Kane in the darker reaches of the arena. Cody tries to talk to the Big Red Machine, and reasons that he is a second generation superstar like them. Kane doesn’t say a word as Dibiase wants to make sure they are all on the same page. Kane turns to little Ted and says he doesn’t take orders from anyone, and he will massacre Rey Mysterio tonight, so stay out of the way. Kane then says he is going to see Mike Adamle.

Lance Cade comes out to gloat about beating Shawn Michaels, and says he has learned more from Chris Jericho in three months then he learned in 10 years under HBK.

Match #4 – CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, and Evan Bourne vs. Kane, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Manu

Manu takes the fight to Bourne, but Rey helps Bourne take Manu to the outside, and Bourne flies over the top rope to take him out. All hell breaks loose, and Rey hits a seated senton on Kane to the floor.

After the break, Rhodes has Bourne grounded with an armbar/cross face. Manu tags in and hits a back suplex. CM Punk gets the hot tag, driving a knee into Manu. Punk tries to kick Dibiase on the apron, and Manu takes him down with a chop block. Kane tags in, and stomps away at Punk. Dibiase and Rhodes then team up for a suplex on Punk. Dibiase connects with a double axe handle from the top, and then Manu stomps away at Punk. Kane tries to stop Punk from tagging out, but Punk counters with an enziguiri. Punk still can’t get the tag, as Kane kicks Mysterio off the apron. Punk dodges an elbow, and gets the tag to Kingston. The controlled frenzy slows down Rhodes, and Kofi hits the double leg drop. Manu breaks the pin, and gets taken to the floor. Mysterio drop kicks Kane in the back and Kofi tries to hit a knee lift in the corner. Kane blocks the knee and catches Kofi around the throat. Kane slams Kofi to the mat, and covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Kane, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Manu

General Manager Mike Adamle is in the ring to tell us he will honor Kane’s request to make Rey Mysterio unmask if he loses. Randy Orton interrupts. Orton wants to know if Adamle has his phone on him so he can check in with Shane McMahon. Orton isn’t happy that Adamle let Shane overrule him. Orton calls himself the most valuable commodity on RAW. Orton says Adamle needs him more than Shane, when JBL interrupts. He isn’t happy because of the stock market, so he wants to keep it short. JBL wants a stipulation that Randy Orton never gets a title shot when he is champ. Batista’s music hits and JBL looks for a fight from the ramp. Instead, Batista comes in from the crowd and JBL turns right into a spear.

Backstage Santino is on the phone with a girl, until he runs into his girl. He tells a little lie, and wants to focus on Beth’s upcoming match. Phoenix doesn’t want him out there to screw up her match. Santino says he didn’t want to go anyway.

Match #5 – Kelly Kelly and Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix and Jillian Hall

I refuse to cover this match until Santino hits the ring to mess things up. Santino never comes to the ring and Beth Phoenix hits the chicken wing driver and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Beth Phoenix and Jillian Hall

Match #6 – Deuce vs. The Great Charli

Haas even goes as far as to get Khali’s interpreter. The Great Charli mimicks the original to a tee, but doesn’t quite have the power. Haas loses the wig, and hits a clothesline from the top rope to get the pin.

Winner via pinfall: The Great Charli

After the bell, the real Great Khali hits the ring. The Great Charli isn’t fazed, and gets a chuckle out of Khali. Charli extends his hand, only to get laid out by Khali.

Match #7 – Shawn Michaels and ??? vs. Chris Jericho and Lance Cade

Jericho grabs a mike and says he will win this Sunday because he is better, but tonight he will give a demonstration of what he will do. Cade gets ladder. Cade starts tossing the ladder around to show what Jericho will do to HBK.

After the break, HBK make his entrance, but stops and runs into the back. After a few tense moments, "Are you raedy?." HBK returns with Triple H, decked out in DX gear.

Match #7 – DX vs. Chris Jericho and Lance Cade

Triple H takes on Jericho and Hunter takes it to him. HHH blocks a walls attempt. Cade tags in and so does HBK. Michaels stops Jericho from interfering and then hits Cade with an atomic drop. Cade fights back, and tags in Jericho. HBK fights out of a sleeper hold, and chops Jericho in the corner. Jericho counters with a bulldog, but misses the lionsault. Hunter gets the tag and hits Cade with a spinebuster. Jericho hits the Codebreaker as Hunter goes for the Pedigree on Cade. Hunter rolls from the ring as HBK takes out Jericho. Cade hits a clothesline and Jericho and Cade assault HBK. The ref calls for the bell.

winner via DQ: DX

After the bell, the assault continues, as Jericho goes for a ladder. Cade holds up HBK, but Hunter returns with sledgehammer in hand. Jericho ducks out of the ring, leaving his partner high and dry. Cade feels the full force of the sledgehammer. HBK delivers some sweet chin music and Hunter finishes him off with a Pedigree. HBK wants more, and climbs the ladder, as HHH lays Cade in the middle of the ring. Michaels hits a splash from the ladder, as Jericho looks on.

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale would like to re-introduce Nick Tylwalk who will be taking over Monday Night RAW.