|
Smackdown: So long, farewell...
By
JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling
|
  
|
Smackdown is bidding farewell to the CW tonight, as MyNetworkTV will become
the new home of Friday night wrestling next week. Let's see what the Fed has
in store for the final night.
We start off the evening with Los Guerreros and discussion about recent events
involving The Undertaker. After Vickie sends Chavo out on a Big Show hunt (I
don't know if he employed
Goldust to help him on the search or not though), Jeff Hardy comes in and
demands a match against Vladimir Kozlov. Guerrero doesn't accept Jeff's offer,
though, and instead directs him to the ring for his already-booked bout.
Match 1 - Triple H/Jeff Hardy vs. MVP/Brian Kendrick
As sad as it is, MVP and Kendrick look like jobbers standing on the opposite
side of the ring from the champ and number-one contender, and indeed, the faces
take the match cleanly.
Winners: Triple H/Jeff Hardy
Shelton Benjamin joins the going-away party after the break and a farewell
message from JR and Tazz. He starts dissing R-Truth, who makes his rap-in-the-stands
entree. Quickly thereafter, Shelton leaves after a brief staredown.
Match 2 - Brie Bella/Maria vs. Natalya/Victoria
The secret success of Ms. Bella was unearthed a bit more this week, as the
under-the-ring switch was a little more blatant. It was still enough to help
get the win for her team, after Maria hit a cross-body from the top on Victoria.
I hope that the Bellas don't become a one-line gag, or even worse - that Smackdown
gets a tag team Diva division.
Match 3 - Vladimir Kozlov vs. Great Khali
We get a bit of a match between the two before Triple H comes down to interrupt
the proceedings, which is a damn shame because this would've been the perfect
way to establish Kozlov as the true dominant heel on SD! and pull the plug on
the heatless Khali.
Winner: no contest
Post-match, Triple H's interference earns him a beatdown. Jeff Hardy inexplicably
comes in and gets his share of the beating. The internationals continue their
destruction until Triple H rolls out and brings Sledgie into the ring. Kozlov
wisely heads for the ramp, while Khali, rather stupidly, stays in the ring and
gets a few shots of metal for his trouble.
Backstage we then go for more from La Familia. I really am getting abboyed
at this point and just want this all to go away.
Match 4 - Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
When did Smackdown become WWF Superstars of Wrestling? Bah, lousy jobber matches.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero
After the match, the lights flicker and Chavito gets scared. I can't imagine
what he was like in grade school.
Match 5 - Los Colons vs. Les Edgeheads
This was a damn solid match. I really like Carlito and Primo as a tag team
and hope that this signals a new golden era for tag team wrestling, as the two
could be effectively used to build a division around. Why do I say this? Because
they win the titles here, after Carlito gets a hidden tag in and hits the Backcracker
to a decent pop.
Winners: Los Colons
Post-match, My Moving Co. come out and start to pack up stuff and get ready
for the Tivo adjustment. I haven't cared about this through the entire run of
this lame gimmick and thank god that we only have to endure one more week of
this time-wasting filth. Feh.
With the movers done, La Familia comes out for the final segment. A little
light-flickery results in Chavito being gone from the ring and being choked
backstage by 'Taker. Show leaves to pursue. Flickery resumes and 'Taker is in
the ring, and Tombstones Vickie.
Okay, I can suspend belief in wrestling, but only so much. Sure, Undertaker
has been in this whole paranormal thing for a few years, but really - we're
now supposed to believe that, along with amazing recuperating powers, he can
now teleport? Oh lord. It's like the character is a composite of all of the
X-Men. I guess I'm supposed to be curious now as to whether he can move through
walls like Kitty or if he can summon lightning and fire like Storm (oh, no,
wait, that's Kane who can do that). What's next? Edge returns from "hell"
as Spawn?
I'm sorry folks, but this is just too much for me. An otherwise reasonably
good episode of Smackdown has been ruined.
One final note - while our American friends move to MyNetwork next week, Canadian
fans remember - it's same Bat time, same Bat channel for us. See you next week,
but for now, I shall retire to my Fortress of Solitude.
Jon Waldman has been with SLAM! since 2000.
