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Smackdown: So long, farewell...
By JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling


Smackdown is bidding farewell to the CW tonight, as MyNetworkTV will become the new home of Friday night wrestling next week. Let's see what the Fed has in store for the final night.

We start off the evening with Los Guerreros and discussion about recent events involving The Undertaker. After Vickie sends Chavo out on a Big Show hunt (I don't know if he employed Goldust to help him on the search or not though), Jeff Hardy comes in and demands a match against Vladimir Kozlov. Guerrero doesn't accept Jeff's offer, though, and instead directs him to the ring for his already-booked bout.

Match 1 - Triple H/Jeff Hardy vs. MVP/Brian Kendrick

As sad as it is, MVP and Kendrick look like jobbers standing on the opposite side of the ring from the champ and number-one contender, and indeed, the faces take the match cleanly.

Winners: Triple H/Jeff Hardy

Shelton Benjamin joins the going-away party after the break and a farewell message from JR and Tazz. He starts dissing R-Truth, who makes his rap-in-the-stands entree. Quickly thereafter, Shelton leaves after a brief staredown.

Match 2 - Brie Bella/Maria vs. Natalya/Victoria

The secret success of Ms. Bella was unearthed a bit more this week, as the under-the-ring switch was a little more blatant. It was still enough to help get the win for her team, after Maria hit a cross-body from the top on Victoria. I hope that the Bellas don't become a one-line gag, or even worse - that Smackdown gets a tag team Diva division.

Match 3 - Vladimir Kozlov vs. Great Khali

We get a bit of a match between the two before Triple H comes down to interrupt the proceedings, which is a damn shame because this would've been the perfect way to establish Kozlov as the true dominant heel on SD! and pull the plug on the heatless Khali.

Winner: no contest

Post-match, Triple H's interference earns him a beatdown. Jeff Hardy inexplicably comes in and gets his share of the beating. The internationals continue their destruction until Triple H rolls out and brings Sledgie into the ring. Kozlov wisely heads for the ramp, while Khali, rather stupidly, stays in the ring and gets a few shots of metal for his trouble.

Backstage we then go for more from La Familia. I really am getting abboyed at this point and just want this all to go away.

Match 4 - Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

When did Smackdown become WWF Superstars of Wrestling? Bah, lousy jobber matches.

Winner: Chavo Guerrero

After the match, the lights flicker and Chavito gets scared. I can't imagine what he was like in grade school.

Match 5 - Los Colons vs. Les Edgeheads

This was a damn solid match. I really like Carlito and Primo as a tag team and hope that this signals a new golden era for tag team wrestling, as the two could be effectively used to build a division around. Why do I say this? Because they win the titles here, after Carlito gets a hidden tag in and hits the Backcracker to a decent pop.

Winners: Los Colons

Post-match, My Moving Co. come out and start to pack up stuff and get ready for the Tivo adjustment. I haven't cared about this through the entire run of this lame gimmick and thank god that we only have to endure one more week of this time-wasting filth. Feh.

With the movers done, La Familia comes out for the final segment. A little light-flickery results in Chavito being gone from the ring and being choked backstage by 'Taker. Show leaves to pursue. Flickery resumes and 'Taker is in the ring, and Tombstones Vickie.

Okay, I can suspend belief in wrestling, but only so much. Sure, Undertaker has been in this whole paranormal thing for a few years, but really - we're now supposed to believe that, along with amazing recuperating powers, he can now teleport? Oh lord. It's like the character is a composite of all of the X-Men. I guess I'm supposed to be curious now as to whether he can move through walls like Kitty or if he can summon lightning and fire like Storm (oh, no, wait, that's Kane who can do that). What's next? Edge returns from "hell" as Spawn?

I'm sorry folks, but this is just too much for me. An otherwise reasonably good episode of Smackdown has been ruined.

One final note - while our American friends move to MyNetwork next week, Canadian fans remember - it's same Bat time, same Bat channel for us. See you next week, but for now, I shall retire to my Fortress of Solitude.

Jon Waldman has been with SLAM! since 2000.