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Smackdown: A kiss from a rose
By
JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling
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On the same day that WWE released five wrestlers and one referee, Smackdown
aired in Canada and the U.S. Undeniably, this will be a low-rated episode due
to the Olympics kicking off, which means you likely missed the action. Here's
how things broke down.
We kick off tonight's show with Jim Ross introducing his new...er I mean temporary
broadcast partner, Tazz, who takes over for Mick Foley after the attack last
week by Edge.
Match 1 - Natalya/Maryse/Victoria vs. Michelle McCool/Cherry/Maria
Apparently this is an "Olympic" Divas Match. Does this mean amateur
wrestling rules apply? Nope, it's just another way to humiliate women by putting
them in different outfits.
And as little sense as this makes, the end of the match is worse, as Natalya
puts Maria in the Sharpshooter for the win. Why do I say it's bad booking? Let's
see - you build up Maria for nearly a month as a big deal coming to SD!, have
her go over Victoria strong in her debut, then make her the sacrificial lamb,
when putting Cherry in that role harms no one and putting McCool in that role
puts doubt into viewers' minds that she can keep her strap over the Canadian
sensation.
Great booking guys, glad to see that Michael Hayes still has influence on the
SD! staff.
Backstage we go to see Ryder and Hawkins, who come across one Bam Neely, laid
out with a black rose beside him. Oh no, Nunzio has struck! Now we know why
he was released! Chavito and Vickie come on the scene.
Match 2 - Ryder/Hawkins vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore
I guess that the WWE.com news spoils the end of this match. Bravo to Ryder
and Hawkins for being able to put the black rose out of their minds and concentrate
on the bout.
Winners: Ryder/Hawkins
Backstage we go and MVP is standing with Eve Torres. He announces that he will
face Jeff Hardy at Summerslam. I'm calling showstealer!
Match 3 - Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy
How good does Mike Adamle look right now? Both this and the last bout are non-title,
while he gave three title matches on Raw?
As one would expect from these two, this was a great match, with Hardy nearly
securing the victory before MVP comes out to ruin his fun. In this context this
was the right decision, but had the strap been on the line, it would have been
nonsensical, because that would've added the belt to the title match at 'Slam.
So kudos to the writing crew on this one.
Winner: Jeff Hardy (DQ)
Backstage, there's concern about Neely's condition, which escalates when Hawkins
comes in and says that Ryder is nowhere to be found.
Match 4 - The Great Khali vs. Triple H (Indian Broken Glass Arm Wrestling
Match)
Okay...an interesting variant on the normal match, but really, is it worth
the danger?
Khali gives a pre "match" promo, which is helpfully translated by
Ranjin Singh. God I thought we'd seen the last of this guy! Trips replies, and
the match starts. Just as HHH is about to win, Khali headbutts him for the
DQ.
Winner: Triple H (DQ)
Afterwards, the two scuffle until Khali puts Triple H out with the Khona Krunch.
Next up, Hawkins is found, with another black rose. Man, whoever does the decor
for SD! really needs to be fired.
Before we go to the next match, an R-Truth video is shown. I'm really getting
excited for his debut now.
Match 5 - Jesse vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Kozlov wins in usual fashion. Festus was a non-factor at ringside after much
explaining from Jesse about the dynamic of the match. Meh.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
Backstage, Vickie and Chavo Guerrero have a chat.
Match 6 - The Brian Kendrick vs. Super Crazy
TBK (yes, I think that will work just fine) is really growing on me. I thought
there was no way he'd ever get a push in WWE. Guess I was wrong.
It's good to see that Crazy is back on TV, but he should have made his re-debut
on ECW on SciFi. Alas, we know what happens here.
Winner: TBK
Post-match Ezekiel enters the ring and Torture Racks Crazy to show off his
power. Nice touch.
Backstage, Edge joins the party and says that he has a plan to make sure that
nothing happens to the rest of La Familia. The trio then make their way to the
ring.
Once in the arena, the three take a seat and have an old-fashioned sit-in for
the Undertaker. Edge asks Chavo to give him his chair, and then Edge gives it
back to him, in the form of a stiff shot to the back. Vickie screams (as only
she can), as Edge ponders, then tips her over. The old Edge is back folks, and
I'm glad to see it!
Overall we had a pretty decent show tonight if you can discount the ladies
humiliation.
Jon Waldman has been with SLAM! since 2000.
