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COMMENT





ECW: Verbal duel inspired by Conan
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling


Tonight on ECW on Sci-Fi: It's an odd time in the Land of Extreme. New talent is emerging, announcers are coming in and out, a former GM is fighting for a contract and the former tag team champs are offending people. It's pure chaos. Nonetheless, should be a good one!

And we are "LIVE!" from Atlanta, Ga. This show is presented in WWEHD (TV-PG,V).

Our host, Todd Grisham, says The Tazz is not in the house tonight. Instead, his replacement will be our teacher, Matt Striker. Yay!

Match #1 - Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, Texas) & Bam Neely (Robbinsdale, Minn.) vs. Evan Bourne (St. Louis, Mo.) & Ricky Ortiz (Paradise Valley, Ariz.)

Striker points out all the talent that has come out of Robbinsdale. I'm sure a lot of the audience had no idea who the likes of Rick Rude and Curt Hennig are. He also points out that Ortiz is the only WWE superstar to ever play in the XFL. Now that's interesting!

After a back-and-forth beginning, Guerrero and Neely gain control of Ortiz, working him over with headlocks and the like. Eventually, he gets the tag to Bourne who goes to work on Neely. Bourne is on fire here and catches Neely an incredibly awesome roll-up for the win.

Winners via pinfall: Evan Bourne & Ricky Ortiz

(Ads)

We're back and Mike Knox is joining us in the ring. After his little backstage promo last week, I must admit I'm interested in a follow-up.

Knox says he's here to expose the fraud called Finlay. He tells everyone to roll the footage. They go to the SummerSlam promo of he and Hornswaggle dancing in a park at a picnic.

Knox says Finlay used to be one of the toughest men in the business. Now, he spends his time dancing around with a Leprechaun. Finlay, not in wrestling gear, interrupts and he and Hornswaggle head down to the ring.

Finlay says he likes to have fun and he loves his family and if Knox has a problem with him or his family, then take a shot. Finlay says Knox better knock him out because if he doesn't, he'll find out if he's gone soft or not. Knox backs away and exits the ring to a "you suck" chant.

(Ads)

Match #2 - Last Chance Match - Armando Estrada (Havana, Cuba) vs. Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, N.Y.)

This is Estrada's last chance to gain an ECW contract.

Dreamer hits a neckbreaker and puts Estrada up in the Tree of Woe and prepares for the baseball slide when he sees Colin Delaney. Delaney grabs a chair, but Dreamer confronts him. Delaney loses the chair and clear hops over the announce desk and goes under. This was funny.

Back in the ring, Dreamer preps Estrada for the DDT, but Delaney jumps up on the apron. Dreamer runs Delaney into the post, but is hit from behind by Estrada and rolled up for the three count.

Winner via pinfall: Armando Estrada

(Ads)

Estrada is backstage and Delaney comes into the picture. Estrada wonders why, after all he put Delaney through, he would help him. Before he can get too far into his answer, ECW general manager Theodore Long hollas and books Delaney in an Extreme Rules match against Dreamer next week.

(Ads)

Match #3 - Braden Walker (Fort Wright, Ky.) vs. James Curtis (Rockford, Ill.)

Walker wins with the PerfectPlex. Yawn.

Winner via pinfall: Braden Walker

(Ads)

Now it's time for the first ever televised edition of The Dirt Sheet starring John Morrison and The Miz. Tonight, they will welcome the men involved in ECW's SummerSlam main event.

They welcome Mark Henry and a picture of Henry comes up and it's a fake, Conan O'Brien-style, with the mouth of another person. They go back-and-forth between Henry and Atlas. At one point, they ask Henry about food and "Henry" says eating makes him stronger. Morrison retorts "eating makes you fat."

Morrison talks about how Henry can't get any Divas and welcome "Lena Yada" to the screen who, of course, likes Miz and Morrison.

It's not long until the real Mark Henry and Tony Atlas make little haste in getting down to the ring. They square off, but they then bring "Matt Hardy" to the screen. "Hardy" only gets one line out before the real Matt Hardy comes out, mic in hand.

Hardy says it's good to see they are such Conan O'Brien fans because that was some original content. Hardy says he loved Miz and Morrison in Brokeback Mountain. He lays down some more insults on the duo and Henry until Hardy hits Miz. Morrison goes after Hardy, but he ducks and Morrison clocks Henry. Of course, Henry no like this and he lays out Morrison while Hardy hits a Twist of Fate on Miz and that's all she wrote on this one.

Send Matt e-mail about ECW, wrestling, MMA or hockey at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include your name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.