July 26, 2008
Smackdown: Hell hath no fury like a GM scorned
By ANDY MCNAMARA -- SLAM! Wrestling
Some tremendous action both in and out of the ring for this evening’s Smackdown. A new number one contender will be crowned tonight in a battle royal with the winner taking on Triple H at SummerSlam. Edge feels the wrath of his wife/general manager Vickie Guerrero who has an unpleasant surprise for her new husband. There will be no brotherly love in Philadelphia tonight so let's get right to the report!
MVP is pimping it up in the VIP Lounge to start off the program and his special guest is the charismatic enigma himself, Jeff Hardy. The two discuss Hardy’s home burning down and 60 day suspension -- Jeff is using the RVD "dude" style of promo. The host challenges Hardy by saying that his reckless behaviour both in and out of the ring is proof that he is throwing his career away. Jeff sucker punches MVP, but really MVP did a masterful job carrying the promo exchange, and I believe Hardy just didn’t deliver on what should have been some passionate verbiage.
Match 1: Non-title: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
The new United States champion finally gets some mic time and boasts on his win over Matt Hardy. Yang uses his educated feet to land some kicks and also hits an impressive spinning head scissors. Yang has control for the majority of this match, however, Benjamin is able to connect with Pay Dirt out of nowhere. Give the "Gold Standard" a victory.
WINNER: Shelton Benjamin
In the back dressing room The Edge Heads come in with their new tag belts and Edge congratulates them. He tries apologizing for his actions last week, but the pair tell him that maybe it’s Vickie who needs to hear the apology.
Match 2: Festus w/ Jesse vs. Curt Hawkins w/ Zach Ryder
Festus goes bananas when the bell rings and clears out Hawkins in a hurry. Jesse catches Ryder on the outside with a clothesline while he was trying to sneak up on his partner. Festus puts away Hawkins shortly after, however, the tag champs pounce once the bell sounds and Festus is once again docile. Jesse is neutralized, and then it is Festus who is on the receiving end of a double team DDT.
Backstage Edge is speaking with the wedding planner Alicia Fox, and he tells her to go wait back at the hotel in case Vickie does show up. Bam Neeley is seen listening by the doorway.
Match 3: Vladimir Kozlov vs. Stevie Richards
Apparently Stevie is in his home town, but that will not stop this week’s SQUASH ALERT! Kozlov has an awful entrance theme and I thought that having no music gave him a bit more mystique. Richards is able to gain a one count after delivering a modified bulldog. Kozlov is actually having some trouble with Stevie as he was thrown to the outside and suffered some hard kicks. Out of nowhere Kozlov nails his foe with a head butt to the chest and that knocks Stevie out cold. This was actually Vladimir’s most competitive match.
WINNER: Vladimir Kozlov
Match 4: #1 Contender Battle Royal- Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Kennedy vs. MVP vs. The Great Khali w/ Ranjin Singh vs. Umaga vs. Big Show
Hardy and Kennedy team up to try and force out Khali, however, the Indian strong man shoves them away and goes after Big Show. Once the show returns from commercials we that all six men are still in the contest with the beatings being dispersed pretty evenly. MVP is first out courtesy of a Jeff Hardy clothesline over the top rope. Umaga is next thanks to a Big Show clothesline. Show slaps Hardy in a temporary Million Dollar Dream before he is tossed aside like a bag of potatoes. Big Show quickly moves on to Kennedy and shoves him up and over. Following an awful looking chokeslam on Khali, Umaga sneaks back in to deliver a Samoan Spike. Hardy flies high and forces Show over the top rope with a spinning head scissors. Jeff does hit the Swanton Bomb, however, he is too weak to eliminate Khali. The big man whips Hardy to the outside to win the battle royal and become the #1 contender for the WWE title. Triple H now marches to the ring and the two stand forehead to chin staring one another down. Ranjin Singh orders Khali to leave the ring and he obliges. Well I hope Raw has a better SummerSlam world title main event planned!
WINNER: The Great Khali
Match 5: Non-tile: Michelle McCool (c) vs. Maryse
The two beauties lock up and it is Michelle who scores a near fall with a drop kick. Maryse is showing her aggressive style with some heavy right hands. McCool is able to roll through with the dreaded heel hook and the new Diva Champion is victorious.
GM Vickie Guerrero is shown arriving to the building with Chavo wheeling her in. Following the commercials Bam Neeley finds Edge to tell him that Vickie has arrived and the former champ tells Bam that he needs to apologize to her in public.
Match 6: Brian Kendrick vs. Shannon Moore
Kendrick cuts a nice little promo bragging how great he is. JR makes an interesting comparison to Kendrick being similar to the late Brian Pillman. The new aggressive style of Kendrick has him taking the fight to Moore early on. Moore is distracted by Mr. Kendrick’s outside help and this allows Brian to hit a move called The Kendrick for a 1-2-3 win.
WINNER: Brian Kendrick
Bam tells Vickie and Chavo that Edge wants her to go out to the ring but could not remember if Edge wanted to apologize or if he wanted Vickie to say sorry to him.
Once the married couple are together in the ring Edge tries to play off that the full film footage from last week was not shown and that he actually tried to resist Alicia. Edge has line of the night saying that "no means no, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer!" Vickie says that she understands, they then hug, but she turns her cheek when The Rated R Superstar goes to kiss her. The GM/wife says that when she was really mad at Edge she reinstated The Undertaker! The crowd erupts at this surprise news. Husband Edge is very upset, however, he states that it is fine since Triple H and Taker can beat on each other while they are away on their honeymoon. GM Guerrero declares that although his idea sounds great that she has put him in a match versus the Dead Man at SummerSlam. This is not just any match mind you -- it is Hell in a Cell! Vickie laughs maniacally as the show comes to a close.
Andy McNamara is a SLAM! Wrestling writer, and play-by-play broadcaster for Toronto Maple Leafs inter-county league baseball, along with university basketball and volleyball on Rogers Television in Toronto. You can catch Andy this Sunday at 2pm live on Rogers Cable 10 in Toronto for the Maple Leafs baseball broadcast. Contact Andy at email@example.com.