May 27, 2008
Raw: The million-dollar offer
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
One Night Stand is six days away (didnít we just have a Pay-per-View? Itís like thereís one every other week). Forget the PPV, though, the big question is, who will be the new RAW GM? And did Teddy Longís cameo last week mean anything? We should get some answers from Denver, Colorado.
Vince kicks off the show from the Titantron. He points out the fans' enthusiasm, and wants to know if the fans are getting what they deserve. Vince says the fans deserve appreciation, and he has a big idea. Vince also wants input from the Superstars. Vince says this could mean something will be done that has never been seen before.
Todd Grisham is in the ring to introduce Triple H and Randy Orton, so the two can talk to each other. (Iím reaching for the fast forward button on the DVR. Iíll save you the trouble of reading the transcript, nothing of importance was said.)
Match #1 -- Melina vs. Jillian
Beth Phoenix joins JR and the King at the announcers table to hype her "I Quit" match with Melina. Jillian butchers Vinceís entrance song, to prove Melina has NO CHANCE of beating Beth. Just to prove she knows a hold, Melina makes Jillian tap and gets the win.
Winner via submission: Melina
After the bell, Phoenix stares down Melina from the floor.
Vince is with Chris Jericho, who wants to give the fans a rematch of Jericho-HBK, tonight on RAW. Vince tells Y2J to work out his frustration, he will get his match, and it will be non-title. Jericho then offers to remake Vinceís theme song. Cryme Tyme stops in to loot the fired/suspended William Regalís office and auction off the merchandise.
Match #2 -- London and Kendrick vs. Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes -- World Tag Team championship
Rhodes dropkicks London in the corner, but he gets a quick tag to Kendrick. The two team up to hit a double dropkick on Rhodes. Kendrick is run into the turnbuckle, and Holly tags in, hitting a double axe handle across the back of Kendrick. Rhodes tags back in, and misses a cross body off the turnbuckle. London and Holly tag in, with London connecting with a head scissors. London gets a near fall with some help from Kendrick. London clotheslines Rhodes from the ring, and tries to skin the cat, but Holly catches him and hits the Alabama Slam.
Winner via pinfall: Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes
After the bell, The Millionaire Dollar Man walks out to the stage and introduces his son, Ted Dibiase. Junior puts Cody Rhodes on notice, saying everyone has a price, but he is simply priceless.
Roddy Piper trains Cousin Sal for his match with Santino. Sal takes one slap from Piper and wants to quit. Jimmy Kimmel walks in on the training, and offers some suggestions. Piper puts Sal to sleep, so Jimmy takes the opportunity to draw on his cousinís face.
Mickie has some ideas for Vince; she wants to have a contest to send a Diva to the winning school. JBL thinks WWE is already giving away too much, but if they have to, JBL wants to cut up pieces of the ring covered in Cenaís blood from One Night Stand. JBL then takes a shot at Mickie swapping fluids with Cena.
Match #3 -- Jeff Hardy and John Cena vs. Umaga and JBL
JBL wants no part of Cena to start, and tags in Umaga. Cena picks up Umaga for the F-U, but falls under the big manís weight. Cena dodges a corner charge, but gets caught on a cross body. Umaga connects with a spinning sidewalk slam, and we go to commercial.
We return from break and Hardy tags in. Umaga blocks a Twist of Fate, and Hardy dodges a corner splash. Umaga hits the turnbuckle, but is able to recover and knock Hardy to the floor. JBL gets in a cheap shot on the outside. Umaga with a splash, but Hardy kicks out of the pin. JBL tags in, and works Hardy over in the corner. JBL locks in an abdominal stretch. JBL drops an elbow. Hardy responds with the Whisper in the Wind, but canít get a cover. Cena gets the hot tag, hitting a shoulder block and slam. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but is then cut off by Umaga. Hardy makes a blind tag, and climbs the turnbuckle. JBL rolls away from the Swanton bomb and pops up to hit the Clothesline from Hell on Hardy. JBL covers for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Umaga and JBL
Shawn Michaels visits with the boss, but he doesnít think Vince will do anything decent. Vince says he will have to give the devil his due.
We see highlights from the WWE Mexico tour. The highlight, DX Luchadors!
Match #4 -- Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito
Carlito clubs Kennedy, but then misses on the springboard back elbow. Carlito blocks a Mic Check, and counters into a swinging neck breaker. Kennedy breaks out of a submission, working over Carlito with right hands. Carlito hits a power slam, but Kennedy kicks out. Kennedy avoids a Backstabber. Carlito walks into a Mic Check, and Kennedy covers for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Mr. Kennedy
After the bell, Katie Lea Burchill walks to the ring, and addresses Kennedy. She isnít happy with him getting Regal fired. Paul Burchill jumps Kennedy from behind, and lays a beating on him. Paul tells Kennedy there will be serious repercussions for Regalís firing. Burchill then curb stomps Kennedy.
Vince wants Trevor Murdoch to stop singing, and gather the roster in the ring after the next match.
Match #5 -- Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels
HBK and Y2J counter each other with mat wrestling moves, and then circle each other. Jericho slaps on aside headlock, but is whipped off the ropes and HBK hits a hip toss. Jericho goes for a springboard move, but HBK slips off the apron to avoid it as Jericho hits the floor.
We return from break to find HBK in a chin lock. HBK breaks free, but Jericho nails an enziguri. HBK blocks a bulldog, and Jericho is crotched in the corner. HBK follows up with an inverted atomic drop. Michaels hits the flying forearm and both men go down. HBK kips up first, but Y2J goes for the Walls. HBK counters into an inverted cradle, and Y2J kicks out. Jericho then attempts a lionsault, but cannot connect. HBK climbs the turnbuckle, and misses on the flying elbow. Y2J waits for Michaels to rise, but HBK blocks the Codebreaker. HBK warms up the band, but Y2J ducks the super kick and locks in the Walls of Jericho. HBK gets to the ropes to break the hold. Jericho kicks Shawn to the outside, and Jericho locks in the Walls again. The starts the count, reaches ten, and calls for the bell.
Double count out
After the bell, Jericho continues the assault, grabbing a chair. With Michaels on the ground, Y2J pulls up on a chair shot, and instead helps Shawn up. Jericho tosses the chair away, and walks to the back.
With the entire RAW roster on stage Vince struts to the ring. Vince announces that the fans deserve something new, so in four weeks all the WWE superstars will converge on RAW for the 2008 draft. Vince has something else up his sleeve, and itís all about the money. Vince says he will give away cash every week on RAW, not $1,000, not $10,000, not even $100,000. Vince says each and every week he will give away the sum of ... One Million Dollars. (If that doesnít spike the ratings, I donít know what will.)
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003.