May 23, 2008
Smackdown: Undertaker beats the odds
By ANDY MCNAMARA – SLAM! Wrestling
The path to the world of extreme at One Night Stand is approaching quickly and the action is heating up here tonight. GM Vickie Guerrero makes a huge announcement in regards to the type of pay-per-view match to be had between Edge and The Undertaker for the vacant title. Some strong tag wrestling and a not to be missed war between MVP and Batista are also on the agenda this evening. From the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa it is time to lay on the Smackdown!
Vickie Guerrero and Edge come to the top of the ramp and the crowd is all over the General Manager. Vickie states that no one knows how hard it is to run a TV show and that she made the correct call on keeping the title vacant. She announces “the most extreme match of all time” for One Night Stand. A TLC, that’s right Table, Ladders, and Chairs, oh my! Guerrero’s final comment is that The Undertaker will be fired if he loses.
Match 1: Jesse, Festus & Cherry vs. Deuce, Domino & Maryse
How could Deuce and Domino dump poor, innocent Cherry? As per usual Festus goes crazy and lays a quick beatdown on Domino before tagging out to Jesse. Without the white t-shirt, and his sizeable nose, Domino looks like a young Triple H! Jesse becomes isolated and is punished by fast tags between the former tag team champions. The girls finally get to have a go at it and it is Cherry who takes charge courtesy of some forearms and a running bulldog. Everyone charges in the ring and the finish comes when Maryse delivers a terrible looking kick (where she falls over afterwards) for the pin.
WINNERS: Deuce, Domino & Maryse
In Vickie’s office Chavo is told that he will be facing The Undertaker tonight. Guerrero is initially upset but settles down when Edge informs him that he will have Bam Neely, Ryder, Hawkins, and even himself at ringside.
It is time for the VIP Lounge and special guest, former Smackdown employee Theodore Long who quit last week. MVP calls an audible and now says he will not let Long tell his story and instead will insult him for the hell the former GM put him through. Teddy goes to leave, but the former U.S. champ grabs him. Suddenly Batista, leather vest and all, storms in. The Animal states that he is simply here to wish Teddy good luck…and if MVP lays his hands on Long again that he will personally shove his fist down his throat. Batista comments that he didn’t mean to be disrespectful, and then trashes the VIP Lounge set. MVP simply walks away in a huff.
MVP storms into GM Guerrero’s office complaining about Batista. Much to the chagrin of MVP she puts him in a bout with The Animal tonight!
Match 2: Finlay w/ Hornswoggle vs. Chuck Palumbo
Finlay starts off by working a left leg lock on Palumbo and follows that up with a couple of big right hands. Chuck is able to over power the Irishman, landing some heavy kicks and punches of his own. Hornswaggle distracts the biker with some water gun squirts and this allows Finlay to catch Palumbo with a running clothesline on the outside. Palumbo catches Hornswoggle and smacks him into the apron. It looks to be lights out for the leprechaun, however, he sprays green mist into Chuck’s eyes. Finlay connects with a shillelagh while the ref’s back is turned and sneaks out a win.
Match 3: MVP vs. Batista
The two begin slowly with some lockups and reversals. Following the commercial break MVP is in full control, and this is because of a ferocious running boot that sent Batista up and over the top rope. MVP has been in charge for quite awhile now by successfully working over the left shoulder and generally wearing down The Animal. MVP looks to set up for another running kick, but is caught by a spear out of nowhere. Batista is able to hit a spinebuster and a thunderous Batista Bomb for the comeback victory. Match of the night thus far.
Match 4: Vladimir Kozlov vs. Nunzio
SQUASH ALERT! Does anyone else think it is time to give Kozlov a real opponent. We get it Vladimir, you are a tough guy. Nunzio manages to score a couple of punches, but is quickly crushed by the mighty Russian.
WINNER: Vladimir Kozlov
Match 5: Matt Hardy & Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin & Elijah Burke
Matt Hardy is so over with the audience as they pop for every move he delivers on Burke. Elijah is able to fight out of a Side Effect and brings him to his team’s corner for Benjamin to work on. Hardy is able to make the hot tag to Kingston following a Side Effect on Shelton. Kingston has some tremendous athleticism and scores a near fall after a superb twisting cross body off the top. Kofi nails Benjamin with a leaping spin kick and avenges his loss from ECW this past week.
WINNERS: Hardy & Kingston
Match 6: Main Event- The Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero w/ Bam Neeley, Zach Ryder, Curt Hawkins, & Edge
Chavo looks cocky as he struts down to the ring with his entourage. That attitude quickly changes as Taker lands some shots with those soup bone fists and couples that with Old School. Guerrero ties up the official and La Familia takes advantage by rushing The Dead Man. Referee Charles Robinson ejects all members from ringside, except Bam Neely, and all of a sudden Mr. Guerrero is all on his own. He uses his speed to stun Undertaker, however, Chavo is neutralized when Taker catches him on the outside. Chavo escapes two chokeslams thanks to a Neely distraction and this allows Guerrero to hit a low blow. Taker sits straight up, catches Chavo on a cross body attempt, and spins him around to connect with the tombstone. That is all she wrote as Undertaker takes the win.
Andy McNamara is a SLAM! Wrestling writer, and play-by-play broadcaster for Toronto Maple Leafs inter-county league baseball, along with university basketball and volleyball on Rogers Television in Toronto. Contact Andy at email@example.com