May 7, 2008
ECW: 100th show a major disappointment
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
Matt Mackinder is pinch-hitting tonight for ECW with regular reporter Matt Bishop live in London, Ont., at the show.
It's ECW's 100th show, so let's get down to business and see if the WWE creative team has figured out how to book this show in its 100th attempt. Methinks the anwer is no.
Will Mike Adamle "walk off" the show again in the ever-so-boring stale storyline? This is the type of crud the writers come up with? Sheesh!
The promo at the start of the show claims the biggest stars of ECW (what, all 10 of them?) will throw a party tonight, or something. Great. As long as Big Daddy V stays off the show, I'll be OK.
Mike Adamle is introduced to a chorus of boos (and no theme music). In the ring, he stumbles to remember the script and apologizes for walking out last Tuesday. No, Mike, no apology needed. He then runs down his bio, blah, blah, blah. Isn't there an NHL game on some place? Or at least curling? Adamle admits he screws up and loves working for ECW. You can hear crickets in the arena.
Match # 1 - Extreme Rules - Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox
These guys again? Sweet Blue Jays retro jersey, though, for Dreamer. Stevie Richards joins Tazz and Adamle on commentary. After beating Knox with a hockey stick and a Kendo stick, Dreamer takes about five minutes to lift a shopping cart into the ring. Guess throwing it through the ropes makes too much sense. Tied to the tree of woe, Knox gets a dropkick into a garbage can and the cart. Dreamer goes for a DDT on a chair, Knox hits a low blow and then wins with his corkscrew downward spiral-type move onto the chair. The crowd had the "E-C-Dub" chants and I assume the arena sells cheap beer.
By the way, if Adamle says "Have Mercy" one more time, I will break something.
Winner via pinfall: Mike Knox
The Sandman wailing away on The Zombie from the June 13, 2006 ECW show (first one) is shown. Great.
Kelly Kelly "dances" to Throw It On Me by Timbaland and gets interrupted by Layla, who does the same. The two brawl and the crowd boos. I think they're booing because Adamle hasn't walked off yet.
Another flashback (16th episode) - the Extreme Rules match between Rob Van Dam and Hardcore Holly from Sept. 26, 2006 where Holly's gets his back split to hell on a table. Exciting - blood!
One more flashback - June 26, 2007 (55th episode) where Rowdy Roddy Piper and The Boogeyman humiliate Matt Striker on his birthday.
Chuck Palumbo is in the back with Lena and says he'll knock out CM Punk if he gets in his face again. Ooooh.
Shelton Benjamin comes down to call the next match with Tazz and What's His Name.
Match # 2 - Kofi Kingston vs. Matt Striker
Kofi early and often and nails the Trouble In Paradise kick for the three about a minute in.
Winner via pinfall: Kofi Kingston
Benji attacks Kofi after the bell. Why else was he at ringside? Is this too predictable or what?
Colin Delaney is walking backstage and ECW and Smackdown guys and gals wish him luck in his match with ECW general manager Armando Estrada next. Punk tells him it's a piece of cake. If Delaney wins, he gets an ECW contract. OK, what's the catch?
The best match in WWECW history is the next flashback - April 3, 2007 (43rd episode) - The New Breed (Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, Kevin Thorn, Marcus Cor Von) beating The ECW Originals (Tommy Dreamer, Rob Van Dam, Sabu, The Sandman) in an Extreme Rules match.
Estrada can wrestle, surprisingly enough, and is in pretty decent shape. The crowd continues to be asleep. Delaney gets pitched to the floor, but sneaks back in with a sunset flip and gets the duke. Adamle busts out with a "Have Mercy" and I need a double shot of Canadian Club.
Winner via pinfall for an ECW contract: Colin Delaney
Tazz interviews Delaney after the match and he thanks Dreamer, Tazz and the fans.
The Smackdown Rebound shows The Undertaker being stripped of the World Heavyweight title by Vickie Guerrero and her annoying voice.
Match # 4 - CM Punk & Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero & Bam Neely
Winners via pinfall: CM Punk & Kane
Punk and Kane stare down Miz and Nitro as the show thankfully ends.
For a milestone show, this was absolutely nothing special. The flashbacks were a nice touch, but the small amount of them (and Striker getting a birthday cake shoved in his face on an "extreme" show) speaks volumes about the success of this show this writer once called Tuesday Night Velocity. There's just nothing special about it. Nothing.
Matt Bishop will be back in the saddle next week. Should be a good one!
Matt Mackinder still finds ECW painful to watch. Don't you? Email Matt at firstname.lastname@example.org.