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ECW: Announcing follies overshadow decent show
By
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
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Tonight on ECW on Sci-Fi: We feel the backlash of Backlash and find out
how many names Mike Adamle butchers. The bookies have set the over/under at
three. Should be a good one!
And we are LIVE! from Atlantic City, N.J. Mike Adamle and "The Tazz" are
our hosts and this show is presented in WWEHD (TV-14DLSV).
(For those tracking the over/under, that's one)
Match #1 - Shelton Benjamin (Orangeburg, S.C.) vs. Kofi Kingston
(Jamaica)
Honestly, there might not be a better entrance music in WWE than Kofi
Kingston. In real news, this is a rematch from last week, where Benjamin
dominated the whole match before feeling Trouble in Paradise.
Benjamin grabs a mic before the match and says Kingston's win last week
was a fluke.
Much like last week, Benjamin is in total control. He beats Kingston from
pillar to post before going for a superplex. Kingston pushes him off and
hits a flying crossbody, but Shelton rolls through and gets a two count.
From there, the legalized mugging continues until Kingston, once again,
hits "that roundhouse kick", according to Adamle, or, to those of us who
know ECW, Trouble in Paradise for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Kofi Kingston
In the ring, Benjamin is, to say the least, not happy.
(Ads -- Red Wings and Avalanche have just faced off. Go
Wings!)
Back from break and Adamle treats us to his version of Under the
Boardwalk as they pan Atlantic City. Somewhere, Trevor Murdoch is
weeping.
Match #2 - Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, N.Y.) vs. Mike Knox (Phoenix,
Ariz.)
Adamle informs us that Knox "lets his ringsmanship do the talking."
Also, is this not Edition No. 164 of this match? And it won't be tough to be
better than the previous 163.
If you've seen any Mike Knox match, you've seen this one. He hits some
power offense, but then rams impartial observer Colin Delaney into the
stairs. He then throws Dreamer face-first into the ring post. He gets
Dreamer back into the ring, hits the corkscrew faceplant for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Mike Knox
Coming up next: It's Matt Striker's Classroom with special guest Mick
Foley.
(Ads -- Coming soon from WWE Home Video -- Twist of Fate: The Matt and
Jeff Harvey Story! Aaaaaand, the Avalanche have taken a 1-0 lead.)
Our teacher, Matt Striker, is in the ring and he welcomes the Hardcore
Legend, Mick Foley.
Striker has put together a little lesson to help Foley out in his new
position as Smackdown! color commentator. Striker notes Foley has a face
more suited for radio than television. He then runs down Foley's physical
appearance but Foley says it reminds him of the sacrifice he made for the
fans.
Striker says Foley looks like he just rolled out of his dorm room after
smoking pot and listening to Bob Seger's greatest hits. Striker says that,
since Smackdown! has many of the best technical wrestlers (especially when
he's on the show), does Foley know technical wrestling? He assures him he
does then proceeds to apply Socko and dismiss class.
He then throws Socko to Adamle, who, for some reason, puts the sock near
his mouth. Tazz tells him to stop having it near his mouth, which lead to
the following inspired exchange:
Adamle: "A lot of people would like to see me keep that in my
mouth!"
Tazz: "Well, uh, uh, well, yeah."
(Ads -- WOOOO! Red Wings tie it at one on a goal by Pavel Datsyuk! And
WOOOO x2, Johan Franzen makes it 2-1 Wings 58 seconds later!)
Match #3 - CM Punk (Chicago, Ill.) vs. Chuck Palumbo (San Diego,
Calif.)
Adamle compares the Money in the Bank briefcase to an American Express
card: "Don't leave home without it!"
Of all the Smackdown! imports to choose from, they bring in this
guy?
Palumbo is all over Punk to start, grounding him from his normal high
octane attack, but Punk gets going but is thrown off Palumbo in the corner
by the referee and Palumbo responds with a sucker punch. Palumbo sets up
Punk in the corner and the ref tries to throw Palumbo off of Punk, but
Palumbo doesn't comply and manhandles the referee and he calls for the
bell.
Winner via disqualification: CM Punk
Undeterred by the official decision, after a momentary pause, the two
continue to act like the match didn't end. Palumbo puts Punk down and
leaves.
(Ads -- it's the first intermission in Denver. The Red Wings lead the
Avalanche 2-1.)
Match #4 - Handicap Match - Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, Texas) & Bam
Neely (Parts Unknown) vs. Kane (Hell, Fire & Brimstone)
And, uhhh...during Chavo's entrance, Adamle just sorta peaced out. And
then after reading the promo for Judgment Day, Tazz just peaced out, as
well. So, uh, we'll be going this one without announcers it would seem.
Should be a good one!
After some brief Kane offense, we roll to ...
(Ads)
We're back and still announcer-less as Guerrero tags in the menacing Bam
Neely, who immediately eats a boot to the gut. Neely, to his credit, returns
it back after getting beat on for a few seconds.
They get Kane to the outside and start working on the same knee that was
damaged during last week's edition of ECW on Sci-Fi.
It's odd watching them roll the picture-in-picture replay of something
with no one talking over it and explaining what happened.
This one is all Guerrero/Neely right now. Kane tries to lift Chavo for a
two-handed chokeslam, but his knee buckles. Kane does the sit-up, scaring
the heck out of Chavo and hits a backbody drop and a sidewalk slam for a two
count that was broken up by Neely.
Neely gets in and Kane takes it to him, hitting some body shots in the
corner and another sidewalk slam. He goes to the top and hits the flying
clothesline. Chavo yells encouragement from the apron but is brought into
the ring by Kane. Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Neely kicks Kane in the
knee for his troubles.
Neely follows it up with a boot to the head and brings in Chavo, who
heads to the top and hits the Frog Splash. That's all she wrote.
Winners via pinfall: Chavo Guerrero & Bam Neely
Well, that was interesting to say the least. For the 45 minutes Adamle
was out there for, he was, again, not good. The best thing he's done in
three weeks is saying "Jamaican me crazy!" There are so many awkward pauses
and he just does not know the product at this point. But, honestly, I do get
quite the kick out of his cheesy phrases, but that might only be because I
come from a family that loves corny humour.
It's interesting that WWE has two, let's say, interesting finishes to the
last two TV shows. They cut off the main event of RAW on Monday (and, man,
if only Tony Schiavone could've popped up from Randomville to yell " ... and
we're outta time!") and then have the announcers walk out during the main
event of ECW. I'm just curious what's in store for Smackdown! on Friday. Go
Wings!
Send Matt e-mail about ECW, wrestling, MMA or hockey at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include your
name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out
Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out
Radio. Should be a good one!.
