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Impact: Joe retains on wacky Impact
By CHRIS SOKOL - SLAM! Wrestling


The stage is set and the rubber match will take place on this edition of Impact, as "The Samoan Submission Machine" Samoa Joe defends his TNA Heavyweight Championship against Kurt Angle. Also on Impact, Jim Cornette will address the wacky TNA Tag Team Championship situation, as well as the TNA Knockouts. So without further ado, let's get to the Impact report!

The show began with Matt Morgan walking around backstage with Lauren. During his walk, he found Kip James and jumped him. He then put the badmouth on James as he laid him out.

Highlights were then shown from the last edition of Impact, as Mike Tenay and Don West did their usual welcome.

Booker T then made his way into the Impact Zone and called out Sting. Sting made his way down to the ring as Booker apologized for disrespecting him on the last edition of Impact. They talked about how they have been through a lot together. This brought out Robert Roode, James Storm and Jackie Moore. They ran down Booker and Sting, telling them they should just get married already. The argument got heated, which brought out Jim Cornette. Cornette said that he was tired of the bickering in TNA. He said that he had to address the tag team title situation. He announced that at Sacrifice their would be a Deuces Wild Tag Team Title Tournament. There would be four qualifying matches with established teams during Impact. At Sacrifice, there would be eight singles wrestlers placed at random to comprise four teams. The four qualified establish teams would enter a tournament with the four random teams at Sacrifice to determine the new TNA Tag Team Champions. Cornette mentions that Sting and Booker could be partners. He then made a tag team match for later on Impact, pitting Sting and Booker T against James Storm and Robert Roode.

Backstage, Jeremy Borash caught up with AJ Styles who said that he and Tomko were going to get their TNA Tag Team titles back. Styles kept peeking through a door as he was talking to Borash. Borash asked him what was going on, but Styles played him off. Karen Angle then walked through the door as Borash freaked out. Karen said she knew it was a bad idea to come to Impact. Styles took her hands and calmed her down and told Borash not to say anything to Kurt. Borash agreed.

Match One - Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Qualifier - Rellik and Black Reign w/ Misty vs. Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon)

This was a pretty good match. Both teams used some double teaming tactics. Team 3D had a slight mis-communication during the match, but rebounded well and put away Rellik with the 3D.

Winners Via Pinfall - Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon)

Lauren was shown in the Knockouts dressing room. They all received invitations from Jim Cornette, but didn't know what they were for. This segment turned into a verbal melee.

Jeremy Borash was then shown with Kurt Angle in his locker room. Borash was itching to tell Kurt about what happened with AJ Styles and Karen Angle, but Kurt wouldn't let him talk. After he spoke on Samoa Joe, he told Borash to leave. Borash was about to leave, but turned around and spilled the beans on Styles and Karen. Kurt flipped and told Borash to take him to where they were.

Mike Tenay and Don West then talked about the TNA Heavyweight Championship match and showed a package that highlighted the feud between Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe.

Earlier in the day, Mike Tenay spoke with Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe who were shown training together. Both Nash and Joe agreed that Joe was ready to bring the fight to Kurt Angle and retain his championship.

A recap was then shown of the TNA Tag Team Championship situation. Backstage, Lauren spoke with Kaz and Eric Young. Kaz said that he forgave Young for screwing up the Tag Title situation, but said that they had another opportunity to capture gold by entering the Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament. He told Young to call Super Eric and tell him to stay away from the Impact Zone. Young thanked him and said he would call Super Eric.

Match Two - Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Qualifier - The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) vs. Rhino and Christian Cage

This was a really good technical match. Back and forth match that saw Rhino hit the Gore on Alex Shelley, while Christian Cage connected with an Unprettier to Chris Sabin for the victory.

Winners Via Pinfall - Rhino and Christian Cage

The TNA Knockouts were shown walking into the Impact Zone. Jim Cornette was in the ring with the Knockouts, as The Awesome Kong and Riesha Saeed were shown watching from the entrance ramp. Cornette announced that at Sacrifice, there would be a Over the Top Rope Makeover Battle Royal. The last two competitors in the ring would then square off in a Ladder match to retrieve a contract. That contract will allow them to challenge for the TNA Knockouts championship. The loser of that ladder match would then have their head shaved bald. My early prediction? Rhakka Kahn is getting shaved bald.

Backstage, Lauren talked to Booker T and Sting who said that they are all about winning. They told Lauren that they were going to go out there and defeat Robert Roode and James Storm.

Match Three - James Storm and Robert Roode w/ Jackie Moore vs. Sting and Booker T

Another solid match. Sting and Booker T looked impressive and worked well together as a team once again. James Storm and Robert Roode fell apart at the end, as Storm almost hit Roode with a beer bottle. This allowed Sting to hit Storm with the Scorpion Deathdrop, as Booker knocked down Roode for the win. After the match, Roode and Storm argued, while Jackie Moore tried to separate them.

Winners Via Pinfall - Sting and Booker T

Backstage, Jeremy Borash and Kurt Angle found AJ Styles and Karen Angle. Kurt flipped and told Karen that as long as he was fighting Samoa Joe, there could be no Kurt and Karen. Styles was getting angry, as Kurt told him to get Karen out of there.

Jim Cornette was shown talking to Lauren in the back. He told her that he is sick of people being spoiled in TNA. He said that he has an idea for a match at Sacrifice that he will announce on the next edition of Impact. He says that it will sacrifice bodies, careers and possibly lives. Lauren says that he sounds evil, but Cornette told her that he is a good Christian businessman. Sacrifice is shaping up to be incredibly wacky.

Match Four - TNA Heavyweight Championship Match - Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe (C)

Great main event. This was a hard hitting match, that saw Samoa Joe injure his knee midway through. Kevin Nash came down to check on him, but Joe continued the match. Lots of near falls and close calls followed, with the referee getting knocked out by a Joe enseguri. Angle then hit an Angle Slam and dragged the referee over as he applied the Ankle Lock. Joe kicked him off and Scott Steiner snuck out and hit Angle with a lead pipe, allowing Joe to take advantage and get the win.

Winner Via Pinfall and STILL TNA Heavyweight Champion - Samoa Joe

After the match, Scott Steiner and Samoa Joe got face to face, with Joe shoving Steiner down. Jim Cornette then ran out and said he saw what happened, so at Sacrifice it is going to be a Triple Threat match for the TNA Heavyweight Championship, with Samoa Joe defending against Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle.

Chris Sokol is from Long Island, NY and enjoyed Jeremy Borash's comedic attempts on Impact. He was pretty funny.