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Smackdown: Last stop before Orlando
By
JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling
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It's the very last stop on the road to WrestleMania tonight for Smackdown.
Usually, this unfortunately means a very low-quality show as everyone takes
everything carefully so as to avoid injury before the big show, and all of the
storylines are pretty much in cruise control. Let's see if this show is any
better.
Match 1: Kane vs. Great Khali vs. Chuck Palumbo vs. Mark Henry
Immediately, we see Chavo Guerrero on commentary.
I suppose we should have the impression that these four men are the favourites
for the Battle Royal, but really, Palumbo is not in the league of any of these
men (yes, it's sad when I put Henry as a legitimate contender in the BR. I know,
and I apologize for it). Palumbo is the first out, tossed by Kane. Kane's then
tossed by Henry, and after a brief skirmish, Khali is gone.
Winner: Mark Henry
Post-match, Henry is attacked by Chavito, but Junior doesn't have the advantage
ong. Is this WWE's attempt to turn Mark face?
Next up is the stupid Smackdown Diva Challenge. I'm sorry, this is more lame
than the Raw Search. Eve is eliminated this week, and I don't care. Victoria
and Maryse come in and stir up stuff, so we are getting a wet 'n wild fight
tonight, whatever the hell that is.
Match 2: CM Punk vs. John Morrison
Michael Cole makes a dumb remark early, saying that Punk and Morrison are "rising
stars" on ECW, then noting that both are former ECW champs. Tell me, Cole,
how much higher can you rise than being the best on your brand?
As usual, Morrison and Punk have a very solid match. If WWE plans this properly,
the two could have an on-off rivalry for years to come a la HHH/Rock. They go
full tilt here, which is really surprising, but definitely appreciated.
During the match we get a crawl about Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather. The match
is anything goes, with pinfalls, submissions or knockouts being the winning
methods.
At one point, Punk gets a double underhook, looking like he's going for the
Pepsi Plunge, but turns it into a Jericho underhook backbreaker in a sweet spot.
The awesomeness continues in a a PPV-calibre match until Punk puts this baby
to sleep with the G2S. Easy 7/10 in my books.
Winner: CM Punk
Next, we get analysis of the Big Show vs. Maywetehr match from boxing analysts
and former champs. Everyone shows support and sympaythy for Mayweather. Again
- who's the face here?
After this, the show continues to slow with press conference highlights from
NYC.
Match 3: Miz/Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade vs Jesse/Festus/Kofi Kingston
It's good to see that WWE is giving the Battle Royal some attentio, but it's
a bit too late for anyone to truly care about it. The match itself isn't half
bad, with Kingston getting the Tornado leg lariat on Miz for the W.
Winners: Jesse/Festus/Kofi Kingston
Next up is the re-announcement of Gordon Solie being named to the WWE Hall
of Fame.
Match 4: Snitsky vs. Batista
Umm... okay, honestly, has Snitsky beat anyone in the last thre months? Three
moves and we're done.
Winner: Batista
Post-match, Batista brings a chair into the ring and feeds the yellow-toothed
star a Batista Bomb on it.
Match 5 - Victoria/Maryse vs. Michelle McCool/Cherry
Man, when you make Raw's recent T&A swing look like serious competition,
you know you've fallen off the radar. And when did Cherry turn face? This is
too horrible for words. Really. Michelle wins with a double underhook into a
split-legged pancake for a decent finisher to a deplorable match. Trish, Amy,
please come back and save the Women's Division!
Winners: Michelle McCool/Cherry
Match 6 - Chris Jericho vs. MVP
This was another very solid match with both men taking a few risks leading
to the Money in the Bank match. Both men pull it all out before MVP brings the
belt in for the DQ.
Winner: Chris Jericho (DQ)
Post-match, Jericho attacks MVP with a ladder.
To wrap up the show, Edge, Hawkins and Ryder come out for a funeral for the
streak, joining Teddy Long and Vickie in the ring. Come on - a funeral? What
could be more obvious an outcome here; and yes, it is pretty tacky to have a
funeral segment with Vickie involved. 'Taker ends up coming out of the casket.
I guess this was done to plant the seed of doubt in everyone's mind, since the
WWE Code dictates that the man who looks bad on TV comes out the winner on PPV,but
no one's falling for it. Are they?
