February 13, 2008
ECW: Henry's DQ allows Punk to survive
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on ECW on Sci-Fi: ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero will look to avenge his loss in the epic "Gulf of Mexico Match" to CM Punk last week as the two gear up for their title match at No Way Out. Should be a good one!
And we are TAPED! from Houston, Texas where we are still standing here in WWEHD.
Our ECW Champion, Chavo Guerrero starts off the show by coming to the ring.
He says he stands before us lucky to be alive after being thrown into the Gulf of Mexico last week. He also can't swim apparently and now has a sinus infection from being thrown in. On top of that, he also is suffering from migraines, an irritating rash and was stung by a jellyfish.
That is quite the laundry list right there.
Chavo says he's a fighting champion, so he will defend the ECW Championship against CM Punk tonight.
This, naturally, brings out ECW General Manager Armando Estrada -- the genius responsible for the "Gulf of Mexico Match." Praise you, good sir.
Essentially, Estrada won't let Guerrero defend the title tonight. Instead, he books CM Punk in a "tune-up" match against "The World's Largest Job Man" Mark Henry.
Out from break, in case you missed it last week, they replay some of Stevie Richards heart-to-heart interview from last week.
Match #1 - Stevie Richards (Philadelphia, Pa.) vs. Rory Fox (Cincinnati, Ohio)
This one, as you'd imagine, was a pretty short squash in favor of Richards, who actually got a nice little "Stevie" chant.
The end comes when Richards hits Fox with a big splash followed by the Stevie-T for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Stevie Richards
Mark Henry promo. I think I'll flip back to the Red Wings game. Henry'll face CM Punk in tonight's main event.
Match #2 - Kelly Kelly (Jacksonville, Fla.) vs. Layla (Miami, Fla.)
Man, I hope this one will be as good as the previous 37 matches between these two.
Wow, some actual half-decent wrestling at the beginning of this one.
Layla works some hair and shoulder based offense on Kelly in the early going.
Kelly gains some momentum with a suplex, a flying crossbody and surprisingly finishes Layla off with a Fameasser.
Winner via pinfall: Kelly Kelly
Match #3 - Kofi Kingston (Jamaica) vs. Mike Knox (Phoenix, Ariz.)
Whoa, Nelly. Call the milk company and tell them to take Mike Knox off their cartons, as well, he has been found.
Kofi is slowly working his way up the jobber scale. Maybe Kevin Thorn will re-appear next week.
The story here is the power of Knox against the speed and agility of Kingston. Knox grounds Kingston with a chinlock that Randy Orton would be proud of, but Kington is able to rise up.
From there, it's all downhill for Knox, as Kingston goes on to hit the Jamaican Buzzsaw for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Kofi Kingston
Match #4 - John Morrison (Los Angeles, Calif.) vs. Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, NY)
Morrison, the self-proclaimed "Guru of Greatness" has a mic. He and The Miz (HOO-RAH!) take turns talking about how great they are and how the two men coming to the ring are losers.
Dreamer has seemingly ditched the bandana. A sad, sad day.
Dreamer is in control early before Miz knocks him off of the apron and onto the steps.
Morrison gets him back into the ring and starts to work some methodical, non-Morrison-like offense.
Morrison goes for the corkscrew neckbreaker, but Dreamer deftly counters into a huge DDT for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Tommy Dreamer
Well, Miz no likely this result, as he and Morrison quickly dispatch of Dreamer and start to lay the wood to Delaney. With Delaney sufficiently beaten, the duo celebrate over Delaney's body.
Backstage, a poor production assistant walks up to Mark Henry to alert him that his match is next.
In a moment that would make Clubber Lang proud, Henry barks back: "IT'S NOT GONNA BE A MATCH, IT'S GONNA BE A FUNERAL!"
He then mumbled something about Punk being a "paper champion."
OK, I made that last part up.
Match #5 - CM Punk (Chicago, Ill.) vs. Mark Henry (Silsbee, Tx.)
While Mark Henry might be on quite the losing streak, his theme music is top-notch.
Before things get underway, Chavo Guerrero makes his way to the ring, surely as an impartial observer.
After a brief feeling out process by Punk, Henry starts hitting the usual big man offense and then has a partial camel clutch on the ropes and refuses to break. The official hits the five count and that's all she wrote.
Winner via disqualification: CM Punk
I can't even shake my head at these results anymore.
Henry tries to attack post-match, but Punk dispatches him to the outside. He then pulls Chavo, who was on the apron, into the ring where he easily hits GTS on the champ. Punk stands over the champ with the title as we fade to black.
The crowd made a lot of this show as they were really into the faces all night long and that really added to the atmosphere of the show. Chavo/Punk at No Way Out should be a good match, as they have been lately, but hopefully it will mark the end of this feud. See you next week!
When ECW is taped in London, Ontario, I hope they have a "Forks of the Thames River" match, as the Thames River splits about a block from the John Labatt Centre a great place for the now standard and awesome "Insert Body Of Water" Match now featured on ECW.
I can hardly wait to see Chavo being tossed in with the sludge and PCBs in the Thames River. Should be phenomenal!
--Dan Kelly, St. Thomas, ONT.
Dan -- Awesome, awesome idea. As a veteran of a few events at the JLC, I'd love to be in attendance for that. Honestly, if they had a random body of water match every week, I'm sure it would be a ratings hit. But really, what we have a case of here is ECW being innovative. RAW and Smackdown! might have the Elimination Chamber on lock, but ECW has "Insert Random Body of Water" matches. Now that is extreme. Thanks for writing!
Send Matt e-mail about ECW/wrestling/MMA/hockey/ at email@example.com. Please include your name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.