February 12, 2008
Raw: Taped show avoids the dogs
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
This may be a first. In all the years that RAW has been on the USA Network it has given way every February to a bunch of dogs. Not this year, the Westminster Dog Show has been kicked to CNBC and RAW claims it normal timeslot, coming to us, taped, from Austin, Texas.
Match #1 -- Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon -- No Disqualification Match
(I only have one question: Why isnít there a Hornswoggle wrestling figure yet?!? I demand answers JAKKS Pacific!)
Vince towers over his son, pushing him to the mat. Vince then taunts him, and get down on a knee offering a free shot. Horny canít do it, but then unleashes a slap. Vince responds by taking his belt off, when Finlay hits the ring. Vince reminds Finlay about last week, and reminds him of his family. Vince tells Finlay to leave, and he turns around. Vince tells Horny that Finlay isnít a friend, and he is a coward. Finlay strikes Vince with his shillelagh. Hornswoggle climbs the ropes, hits the tadpole splash, and covers for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Hornswoggle
William Regal checks on Vince in the back. Vince wants Regal to draw up dismissal papers for Finaly.
Match #2 -- JBL vs. Chris Jericho
JBL and Jericho tie up, and JBL forces Jericho into the corner. JBL head butts Jericho on the break. Y2J fights back, and the two spill to the outside. JBL is tossed into the security barrier, and then whipped into the steps. Back in the ring, Jericho hits a low drop kick, and then bites JBL. Jericho goes for the walls, but JBL is able to get to the ropes before Jericho can get him over. A baseball slide sends Bradshaw to the floor. JBL returns fire with a boot to the head, but Jericho responds with a spinning heel kick. JBL cuts off a springboard drop kick with a big boot.
We return from break with a clothesline to Jericho. Y2J fights back, but gets caught in a sleeper. JBL sets Jericho on the top turnbuckle, and punches away at him. Jericho blocks a superplex, and pushes JBL to the floor. Jericho hits a flying forearm, but only gets a two count on the pin. Jericho hits several forearms and then an enzuigiri, followed by a missile drop kick. JBL catches Jericho trying a cross body, by Jericho counters the fall away slam into a DDT. JBL gets a foot on the rope to break a pin. Jericho hits the codebreaker and covers for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Chris Jericho
After the bell, Umaga attacks Y2J, hitting him with the Samoan Spike. Umaga picks up JBL and spikes him.
Vince tells Regal to forget about Finlay, as next week he will take on Hornswoggle in a steel cage.
Match #3 -- Paul Burchill w/ Katie Lea Burchill vs. Brian Kendrick
(Katie may have the same last name, but she isnít his wife. Sheís his sister. And during her opening promo she is all over him, while talking about how she likes watching her brother hurt people. Ummmm ... ewwwwwwwwww!)
Burchill wins his RAW debut by literally squashing poor Brian Kendrick. Burchill holds Kendrickís arms, and then drives his head into the mat with his foot. Burchill finishes him off with a modified swinging neckbreaker.
Winner via pinfall: Paul Burchill
Match #4 -- John Cena vs. Mark Henry
WWE champion Randy Orton joins JR and the King at the announce table. (I wonder if he will get involved.) Henry slams Cena to the mat, and then chokes him in the corner. Henry whips Cena hard into the turnbuckle, and then exposes the opposite one. Cena rallies, but Henry clubs him across the back and locks in a full nelson. Cena escapes and dodges a charge. Cena connects with a shoulder block, and quickly locks in the STF-U. Henry taps.
Winner via submission: John Cena
After the bell, Cena approaches the announce table. He tells Orton to keep quiet and listen up. "I am 100%!" Cena is hunting Orton for once, and he is focused.
Mr. Kennedy makes his way to the ring, and he is ready to get an answer from Ric Flair. The Nature Boy walks to the ring and gets in Kennedyís face. Flair says they arenít on the same page. Flair tells Kennedy heís been World Champion 16 times, something Kennedy wants to be just once. Flair says he will get in the ring at No Way Out and will live to fight another day. Kennedy and Flair stare each other down, and Kennedy hits Flair with a cheap shot to the knee. Kennedy rolls out of the ring.
Match #5 -- Melina w/ Jillian vs. Maria w/ Santino Marella
Maria hits a bulldog. Jillian starts shrieking to get Mariaís attention and starts making out with Santino. Melina rolls up Maria for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Melina
After the bell, Santino tries to explain, telling Maria that it happened because of all this Playboy talk. Santino wants her to decide between Playboy or him; she has one week.
Match #6 -- Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Hardy
HBK and Hardy bump knuckles out of respect, but then HBK unleashes a hard knife edge chop. Hardy returns the favor, spilling Shawn to the floor. HBK avoids Hardy coming over the top rope, but Hardy lands on his feet. Hardy counters a sleeper into a back suplex, and nearly gets the pin. HBK is whipped into the corner, and almost goes over the top. Hardy clubs HBK in the back, but Shawn counters the suplex off the top into a cross body. Hardy knocks down HBK with shoulder blocks. Hardy skins the cat, but runs right into a clothesline. Hardy with a mule kick, and nails a baseball slide. Hardy runs the rail, but HBK counters into a power slam.
After the break, Hardy is whipped into the corner and he falls to the floor. HBK locks in a bow and arrow. Hardy elbows his way out. HBK uses a backbreaker to get a near fall. Hardy telegraphs a move, as HBK hits a neck breaker. HBK climbs the turnbuckle, Hardy gets his feet up, but HBK counters into a single leg Boston crab. Hardy gets to the ropes. Hardy hits an enzuigiri, and kicks HBK into the corner. Michaels is set up on the top rope, but Hardy is knocked to the mat. Hardy rolls away from the flying elbow. Jeff takes down HBK with an arm lariat. Hardy hits a slingshot drop kick in the corner. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind. Michaels counters a twist of fate with a jaw breaker, and follows with a flying forearm. HBK hits an inverted atomic drop and scoop slam. HBK connects with the elbow off the top rope, and starts to warm up the band. Hardy ducks the Sweet Chin Music, but HBK counters the Twist of Fate into that modified deathlock from last week. Hardy breaks the hold by getting to the ropes. Hardy fights off HBK and connects with the Twist of Fate and nails the Swanton Bomb. Hardy covers and gets the win.
Winner via pinfall: Jeff Hardy
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is having even more thoughts about watching RAW in HD if Maria is on every week.