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ECW: Chavo goes for a swim
By
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
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Tonight on ECW on Sci-Fi: The feud between ECW Champion Chavo
Guerrero
and former champion CM Punk leads to the greatest match in new ECW
history.
I can't really say much more than that. Should be a good one!
And we are LIVE! from Corpus Christi, Texas. This broadcast is
presented
in WWEHD.
CM Punk kicks off the show to a rousing ovation. He's in the ring
and has
something to say.
Punk runs us through the end of last week's show, where he crashed
Chavo's "Championship Fiesta" and cracked him over the head with a
guitar
still left over from Jeff Jarrett's run. This one failed to say "Don't
Piss
Me Off", though. Honestly, I think that would've added to the
effort.
Punk says he's invoking his rematch clause tonight. Of course, this
draws
the champ out from behind the curtain and he strolls to the ring.
Guerrero isn't so keen on Punk getting his rematch tonight --
instead it
will come at No Way Out (where it'll probably be the second match).
Guerrero said last week Punk embarrassed him, so it's going to be
the
other way around this week. He then introduces ECW General Manager
Armando
Estrada to say how this will be done. Estrada is outside the arena.
Estrada
says Punk and Guerrero will battle in the first "Gulf of Mexico Match"
where
Extreme Rules will apply and the winner will be the person who ISN'T
thrown
in the Gulf of Mexico. Thank you, Dusty! :)
Tell me I didn't just type that. Honestly, if I'm a reader of this
and I
don't watch the show, there's no way I believe a word of that. But, as
I
always say: Should be a good one!
(Ads)
Match #1 - Layla (Miami, Fla.) & Victoria (Los Angeles, Calif.)
vs.
Kelly Kelly (Jacksonville, Fla.) & Michelle McCool (Jacksonville,
Fla.)
Well, I guess they just pick some random Diva to throw in there with
Kelly.
Kelly once again goes for the running back elbow and painfully
misses
again.
The end comes when Lena Yada trips up Kelly from the outside, giving
Victoria the opportunity to hit the Widow's Peak for the second
straight
week.
Winners via pinfall: Victoria & Layla
Last week, Shelton Benjamin and Kane had a hard-fought battle. This
Friday, they will do battle again on Smackdown!
Coming up in our gong show main event, it'll be the first ever "Gulf
of
Mexico Match" under Extreme Rules (welcome back, by the way) between
Chavo
Guerrero and CM Punk.
(Ads -- WOOO! The Red Wings just tied the Wild with just over a
minute
to play!!)
Match #2 - John Morrison (Los Angeles, Calif.) w/ The Miz vs.
Tommy
Dreamer (Yonkers, NY) w/ Colin Delaney
Man, Delaney doesn't have a match this week? That almost ruins the
whole
show for me. At least I still have this "Gulf of Mexico Match" to hang
my
hat on.
In a shocking development, Dreamer gets blasted for the beginning of
the
match and OH MAN RED WINGS WIN!!!!
Back to scheduled programming, Dreamer moves away from the corkscrew
moonsault and things start turning his way. He puts Morrison up in the
Tree
of Woe but Miz distracts Dreamer. Dreamer punches Miz off the mat but
Miz
tries to get back up but is held off by Delaney. Miz slams Delaney
against
the guard rail and Dreamer hits a baseball slide on Miz to clear him
out.
But when he turns around, Morrison nails him with a corkscrew
neckbreaker.
Winner via pinfall: John Morrison
Now, Joey Styles throws it to an interview he conducted with Stevie
Richards, who has been out for a while with various injuries.
This was actually a very interesting interview, detailing Richards'
neck
injury and vocal chord replacement. Styles asks him why, after nine
surgeries, why he still wants to compete. He says he does because he
loves
it. He says he'll be back next week.
Since they still haven't changed their minds: The "Gulf of Mexico
Match"
is still on tap for later.
(Ads)
Match #3 - Kofi Kingston (Jamaica) vs. James Curtis (Now Residing
in
Rockford, Ill.)
Perennial ECW jobber James Curtis returns and it appears he has
moved
from Minneapolis to Rockford in the past few months.
Curtis uses his power to ground Kingston for a brief period of time
but
Kofi finds a way out of it. From there, it's all downhill for Curtis as
Kingston hits all his spots, leading to the buzzsaw kick for the
cover.
Winner via pinfall: Kofi Kingston
Coming up next, it's the moment we've all been waiting for: The
biggest,
bestest battle in the short history of the new ECW: The "Gulf of Mexico
Match" between Chavo Guerrero and CM Punk.
(Ads)
Match #4 - Gulf of Mexico Match - Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, Tx.)
vs. CM
Punk (Chicago, Ill.)
I'm guess I'm way behind on this, as Justin Roberts introduces the
combatants to the Š ring. Is "Gulf of Mexico" a euphemism for "outside
the
ring"? I guess we'll find out.
Well, that's quickly dispelled as Punk throws Chavo to the outside
within
15 seconds.
From there, it quickly heads into the crowd, which is also not the
Gulf
of Mexico.
Personally, I wish they would've named this the "Lake Superior
Match"
where, to win, the person would have to drag their opponent all the way
to
the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and throw them into ol' Superior. Now
THAT
would be entertainment. I mean, they could make a reality show out of
it.
They battle to an exit where Punk points vaguely to the Gulf. It
takes
about 15 seconds for a camera to catch up with them and when it does,
they
are battling through the arena exit and onto the street where they
almost
get hit by a car.
Of course, Chavo takes the opportunity to throw Punk onto the car
where
rolls up the hood and cracks the windshield.
Chavo comes to get Punk but he kicks him off and into the cameraman.
Man
down!
(Ads)
Man, that seemed like the longest commercial break ever.
EVER!!!
They're finally back and Punk backdrops Chavo onto the
hood/windshield of
what is either a big truck or a 15-passanger van.
Chavo recovers and throws Punk off a ledge where some fisherman pick
up
their gear and head to higher ground. Unfortunately for them, they
leave
their cooler which Chavo throws at Punk.
They proceed to trade spots near the ledge with Chavo screaming "You
want
a rematch, huh?!?!" at Punk. Chavo goes to suplex Punk in, but he
counters
twice.
He then scoops up Chavo and hits GTS into the Gulf of Mexico!
Winner via throw-in: CM Punk
OK, that was awesome.
Send Matt e-mail about ECW/wrestling/MMA/hockey at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include
your
name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts,
check out
Matt's weekly podcast ‹ Lights Out Radio.
Should
be a good one!.
