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COMMENT





ECW: Chavo goes for a swim
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling


Tonight on ECW on Sci-Fi: The feud between ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero and former champion CM Punk leads to the greatest match in new ECW history. I can't really say much more than that. Should be a good one!

And we are LIVE! from Corpus Christi, Texas. This broadcast is presented in WWEHD.

CM Punk kicks off the show to a rousing ovation. He's in the ring and has something to say.

Punk runs us through the end of last week's show, where he crashed Chavo's "Championship Fiesta" and cracked him over the head with a guitar still left over from Jeff Jarrett's run. This one failed to say "Don't Piss Me Off", though. Honestly, I think that would've added to the effort.

Punk says he's invoking his rematch clause tonight. Of course, this draws the champ out from behind the curtain and he strolls to the ring.

Guerrero isn't so keen on Punk getting his rematch tonight -- instead it will come at No Way Out (where it'll probably be the second match).

Guerrero said last week Punk embarrassed him, so it's going to be the other way around this week. He then introduces ECW General Manager Armando Estrada to say how this will be done. Estrada is outside the arena. Estrada says Punk and Guerrero will battle in the first "Gulf of Mexico Match" where Extreme Rules will apply and the winner will be the person who ISN'T thrown in the Gulf of Mexico. Thank you, Dusty! :)

Tell me I didn't just type that. Honestly, if I'm a reader of this and I don't watch the show, there's no way I believe a word of that. But, as I always say: Should be a good one!

(Ads)

Match #1 - Layla (Miami, Fla.) & Victoria (Los Angeles, Calif.) vs. Kelly Kelly (Jacksonville, Fla.) & Michelle McCool (Jacksonville, Fla.)

Well, I guess they just pick some random Diva to throw in there with Kelly.

Kelly once again goes for the running back elbow and painfully misses again.

The end comes when Lena Yada trips up Kelly from the outside, giving Victoria the opportunity to hit the Widow's Peak for the second straight week.

Winners via pinfall: Victoria & Layla

Last week, Shelton Benjamin and Kane had a hard-fought battle. This Friday, they will do battle again on Smackdown!

Coming up in our gong show main event, it'll be the first ever "Gulf of Mexico Match" under Extreme Rules (welcome back, by the way) between Chavo Guerrero and CM Punk.

(Ads -- WOOO! The Red Wings just tied the Wild with just over a minute to play!!)

Match #2 - John Morrison (Los Angeles, Calif.) w/ The Miz vs. Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, NY) w/ Colin Delaney

Man, Delaney doesn't have a match this week? That almost ruins the whole show for me. At least I still have this "Gulf of Mexico Match" to hang my hat on.

In a shocking development, Dreamer gets blasted for the beginning of the match and OH MAN RED WINGS WIN!!!!

Back to scheduled programming, Dreamer moves away from the corkscrew moonsault and things start turning his way. He puts Morrison up in the Tree of Woe but Miz distracts Dreamer. Dreamer punches Miz off the mat but Miz tries to get back up but is held off by Delaney. Miz slams Delaney against the guard rail and Dreamer hits a baseball slide on Miz to clear him out. But when he turns around, Morrison nails him with a corkscrew neckbreaker.

Winner via pinfall: John Morrison

Now, Joey Styles throws it to an interview he conducted with Stevie Richards, who has been out for a while with various injuries.

This was actually a very interesting interview, detailing Richards' neck injury and vocal chord replacement. Styles asks him why, after nine surgeries, why he still wants to compete. He says he does because he loves it. He says he'll be back next week.

Since they still haven't changed their minds: The "Gulf of Mexico Match" is still on tap for later.

(Ads)

Match #3 - Kofi Kingston (Jamaica) vs. James Curtis (Now Residing in Rockford, Ill.)

Perennial ECW jobber James Curtis returns and it appears he has moved from Minneapolis to Rockford in the past few months.

Curtis uses his power to ground Kingston for a brief period of time but Kofi finds a way out of it. From there, it's all downhill for Curtis as Kingston hits all his spots, leading to the buzzsaw kick for the cover.

Winner via pinfall: Kofi Kingston

Coming up next, it's the moment we've all been waiting for: The biggest, bestest battle in the short history of the new ECW: The "Gulf of Mexico Match" between Chavo Guerrero and CM Punk.

(Ads)

Match #4 - Gulf of Mexico Match - Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, Tx.) vs. CM Punk (Chicago, Ill.)

I'm guess I'm way behind on this, as Justin Roberts introduces the combatants to the ring. Is "Gulf of Mexico" a euphemism for "outside the ring"? I guess we'll find out.

Well, that's quickly dispelled as Punk throws Chavo to the outside within 15 seconds.

From there, it quickly heads into the crowd, which is also not the Gulf of Mexico.

Personally, I wish they would've named this the "Lake Superior Match" where, to win, the person would have to drag their opponent all the way to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and throw them into ol' Superior. Now THAT would be entertainment. I mean, they could make a reality show out of it.

They battle to an exit where Punk points vaguely to the Gulf. It takes about 15 seconds for a camera to catch up with them and when it does, they are battling through the arena exit and onto the street where they almost get hit by a car.

Of course, Chavo takes the opportunity to throw Punk onto the car where rolls up the hood and cracks the windshield.

Chavo comes to get Punk but he kicks him off and into the cameraman. Man down!

(Ads)

Man, that seemed like the longest commercial break ever.

EVER!!!

They're finally back and Punk backdrops Chavo onto the hood/windshield of what is either a big truck or a 15-passanger van.

Chavo recovers and throws Punk off a ledge where some fisherman pick up their gear and head to higher ground. Unfortunately for them, they leave their cooler which Chavo throws at Punk.

They proceed to trade spots near the ledge with Chavo screaming "You want a rematch, huh?!?!" at Punk. Chavo goes to suplex Punk in, but he counters twice.

He then scoops up Chavo and hits GTS into the Gulf of Mexico!

Winner via throw-in: CM Punk

OK, that was awesome.



Send Matt e-mail about ECW/wrestling/MMA/hockey at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include your name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.