February 2, 2008
Smackdown: 'Taker and Kane back together
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on Friday Night Smackdown!: It's fallout from the Royal Rumble, as General Manager Vickie Guerrero is out of commission. Should be a good one!
It's a total cold open and we are TAPED! from Reading, Pa. and Assistant General Manager Theodore Long is in the ring. He says per Mr. McMahon, he is in charge tonight.
He says that at No Way Out, we'll have a match to determine Smackdown!'s No. 1 contender for WrestleMania. And it'll be contested inside the Elimination Chamber. Inside the Chamber will be: Batista, The Great Khali, Finlay, MVP, Big Daddy V and the Undertaker.
Long also announces that at No Way Out, Edge will be defending his World Heavyweight Championship in a rematch against Rey Mysterio.
Incensed, Edge runs to the ring sans music and asks Long what the hell he is doing. Edge says he'll take on anyone but Mysterio. Long says his decision is final.
Match #1 - Career Threatening Match - Ric Flair (Charlotte, NC) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter (Miami, Fla.)
As you'd expect, the crowd is solidly behind Flair.
Porter works over Flair's left arm and uses it to get a two on a backslide., but Flair eventually comes back and locks in the Figure Four, but MVP immediately reverses it. Flair gets under the ropes, necessitating a break, but Porter doesn't let go and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner via disqualification: Ric Flair
Post-match, MVP works over Flair's legs on the ring post. He then traps a foot between the steps and the post, breaks through a throng of officials and stomps the step.
Chuck Palumbo comes to the ring and has a mic. This should be good.
He says he and Michelle McCool were doing fine until Jamie Noble got involved. He says it felt "fantastic" to beat up Noble and what happened to Michelle was an accident. He says WWE fined him $10,000 for hitting a referee, who didn't get out of the way "when [he] was bringing the crazy." He then asks McCool to the ring so he can publicly apologize to her.
Palumbo does indeed apologize. McCool fires back that he is sorry and doesn't mean a thing he's saying. She then slaps him and he lunges after her. This sets him off on a verbal tirade. He says Jamie Noble is going to pay the price for the slap.
Match #2 - Rey Mysterio (San Diego, Calif.) & CM Punk (Chicago, Ill.) vs. Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, Tx.) & Edge (Toronto, Ont.)
The combatants go in-and-out early but the tide turns to the heels when Edge pulls Chavo out of the way of a Punk running knee-lift, sending the former champion to the outside.
Back and Edge is controlling Punk on the ground before getting a tag to Chavo. Punk is eventually able to get the hot tag to Mysterio while Chavo gets to Edge. He hits a wide variety of moves, including a springboard moonsault for two.
But that's all the offense Rey gets in for now, as Edge is able to take control and work on Mysterio's "surgically repaired" knee. Guerrero and Edge use quick tags to isolate Mysterio and cut the ring in half.
Mysterio is able to hit a dropkick, but Chavo raps Mysterio up and drags him back into enemy territory before he can get too far. Edge tries to work a crossface, but Mysterio gets out of it by biting Edge's hand.
Edge gets out and Mysterio is able to make it over to Punk and he's the proverbial house of fire. Edge runs in and tries to spear Punk, but he leapfrogs it. Edge almost runs into Chavo but holds up. Mysterio hits a modifed Hurricarana on Edge, who tumbles into Guerrero putting them both into position for the 619.
Edge is able to roll out of the ring, but Chavo isn't as lucky. After nailing Chavo, Rey hits a springboard plancha on Edge while, in the ring, Punk scoops up Guerrero and hits GTS. Good night now.
Winners via pinfall: CM Punk & Rey Mysterio
Coming up later: Kane & Undertaker take on Big Daddy V & Mark Henry.
Backstage, Mr. McMahon is chastising Finlay for saving Hornswaggle at the Royal Rumble.
Match #3 - Finlay & Hornswaggle (Belfast, N. Ireland) vs. Deuce & Domino (Other Side of the Tracks)
D & D don't even get an entrance here. We pretty much know what that means.
Right off the bat, Finlay and Hornswaggle decide to have fun with Cherry. Hornswaggle comes from under the ring and lifts up her skirt then when she turns to Finlay, Hornswaggle ducks down below and Finlay scares Cherry into tripping over Hornswaggle.
The end comes soon after with the Celtic Cross/Tadpole Splash combo.
Winners via pinfall: Finlay & Hornswaggle
We're joined in the ring now by Smackdown!'s newest broadcaster, 2007 Diva Search winner Eve Torres.
She stumbles through an introduction for Batista, who makes his way to the ring.
After welcoming Eve to Smackdown!, she heads away and Batista goes on to talk about his participation in the Elimination Chamber. He keeps it short and sweet, saying he'll walk into Vegas, win the match and go to WrestleMania to reclaim his World Heavyweight Championship. Man, with these types of in-depth promos it's almost like The Rock & Sock Connection all over gain.
Jesse of Jesse & Festus fame has a pre-taped promo saying that Festus's two personalities have seemingly merged. They'll be back next week. Hoo-rah.
Match #4 - Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins (Long Island, NY) vs. Jimmy Wang Yang (Austell, Ga.) & Shannon Moore (Whispering Pines, NC)
OK, I'll be honest: I have no idea which member of Team Edge one is which, so bare with me through this one.
For those of you interested, Michael Cole's Word of the Match was: "Blasted". He used it no less than four times.
Oh, yeah, there's a match going on. Hawkins and Ryder control Yang using a methodical offense to retain control. Yang gets a quick opening and tags in Moore. After getting in some solid offense, Moore heads to the top for a corkscrew moonsault but it's off the mark and Hawkins hits an inverted DDT for the win.
Winners via pinfall: Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins
Match #5 - Kane (Hell, Fire & Brimstone) & The Undertaker (Death Valley, Calif.) vs. Big Daddy V (Harlem, NY) & Mark Henry (Silsbee, TX)
Back from break and the match is in progress with Mark Henry controlling Kane but that doesn't last for long, as Kane backs Henry into his corner and tags his brother.
My favorite part of this match so far: Big Daddy V's "V Chops" on Kane. Nice touch.
Boy, this is such an awful foursome. Tepid, tepid action here. At this point, I'd rather go second in a game of Roshambo than watch this.
I don't think I've ever seen a splash utilized so much in one match before in my life. 'Taker hits Old School on Henry and follows it up with a DDT and a pin that is broken up by Big Daddy V. Kane and 'Taker hit a double-team choke slam on Big Daddy. Undertaker then hits Henry with a choke slam and then locks in a modified triangle choke that forces Henry to tap.
Winners via pinfall: Kane & The Undertaker
Matt will be back Tuesday in his usual ECW timeslot. Until then, send Matt e-mail about ECW/wrestling/MMA/hockey at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast ‹ Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.