November 28, 2007
ECW: Kane and Big Daddy V get extreme
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on ECW on Sci-FI, it's "a night of beauties and beasts" as Kelly Kelly battles Layla and the feud that won't die continues as Big Daddy V meets Kane yet again, but this time it's under EXTREME RULES! Should be a good one!
And we are LIVE! from Roanoke, Virginia where I went to an extremely poorly attended edition of Smackdown!/ECW back in June 2006.
Match #1 - Kelly Kelly (Jacksonville, Fla.) vs. Layla (Miami, Fla.)To say this was awful would be a libelous insult to every single awful match that ever existed. After about 60 seconds of tepid action and blown spots, Balls Mahoney comes out, distracts Layla then Kelly attempts a back handspring elbow thingy that didn't even end up in the same area code as Layla and then just throws her down, grabs her legs and rolls through for a pin.
Winner via pinfall: Kelly Kelly
Words just cannot express how God-awful that was. Although I cannot say I've seen every episode of ECW on Sci-Fi, I'd assume that this has to be one of the top-3 worst matches in the history of the show. That was the worst match I've seen since I started here.
Up next: The WWE Tag Team Champions John Morrison and The Miz (HOO-RAH!) battle Jesse and Festus!
Match #2 - John Morrison (Los Angeles, Calif.) & The Miz (Cleveland, Ohio) vs. Jesse & Festus (Parts Unknown)
I'm not gonna lie, Jesse & Festus are slowly becoming one of my favorite teams. Then you have Morrison and Miz, two of my perpetual favorites. Suffice to say, I'm excited for this match.
Morrison and Jesse start and Jesse gets a quick tag to Festus. Morrison goes to tag in his partner but Miz is nowhere to be found. Once Jesse gets back in, Miz gladly comes back. Morrison and Miz get dumped outside the ring where Jesse splashes onto both of them. With the champs down and out, it's a perfect time for some...
We're back and Miz and Morrison are firmly in control and stay that way for a while, working over Jesse with a multitude of things. The champs are working together extremely well. Jesse continues to be isolated while Festus is jumping up and down trying to get a tag but Jesse is nowhere near him as they have cut the ring in half. Jesse tries to fire up but Morrison drops him with one of my favorite moves a Drop Toe Hold. But it doesn't last much longer as a miscue allows Festus to get the hot tag.
Festus is the proverbial House O' Fire, dominating the champs. Festus tags Jesse back in and launches him into Miz, but Morrison makes the save. Festus knocks Morrison out of the ring but Miz makes it to his feet and takes Jesse to the ropes where Morrison, with the referee's back turned, drops Jesse's throat on the rope and sends him flying backward to Miz for a cradle pin.
Winners via pinfall: John Morrison and The Miz
Wow. That match was everything that the first match wasn't. A good, if not great, tag team match. They're back on the plus side of things for this show.
Back from break and they make me relive the horror that was the opening of the show. Save me.
In the ring is Elijah Burke and he once again brings out "his homeboy" Shelton Benjamin who is dressed to compete. Shelton then gets the mic and addresses why he is in ECW. He says that the bar has now been raised for ECW and it's just a matter of time before he is the ECW Champion. He calls himself the Gold Standard and that there's ain't no stoppin' him naaaaaaw!
Joey Styles tells us that Shelton will be in action NEXT!
Match #3 - Shelton Benjamin (Orangeburg, SC) vs. Shannon Moore (Whispering Pines, NC)
This is what appears to be your weekly ECW squash match as Benjamin has his way with Moore for an extended period of time. Moore gets a tiny hope spot but when he tries to leap into the ring from the apron, Benjamin catches him on his shoulders, set him down and hits him still unnamed bulldog-to-DDT move for the fall.
Winner via pinfall: Shelton Benjamin
Up next, it's our main event of the evening as Big Flabby V takes on Kane is an EXTREME RULES! match.
Match #4 - Extreme Rules Match - Big Daddy V (Harlem, NY) vs. Kane (Hell, Fire & Brimstone)
Big Daddy V hits Kane with a kendo stick to start us off. Kane then grabs a garbage can and throws it in the ring but Big Daddy V hits him with an object that I missed, throws him in the ring and grabs a chair but Kane counters the chair and then hits the flying clothesline.
Kane grabs the chair and puts it around Big Daddy V's neck but not really because of all the fat, the chair comes up. V gets out and knocks Kane off the apron. V puts Kane up against the guard rail and hits a big chop. Matt Striker then grabs a table and throws it in the ring. Big Daddy rolls Kane back into the ring and sets the table up in the corner. He sets Kane up against the table and hits his splash which was actually more of a shoulder block. V goes for the cover but gets two. Upset, he asks Striker to get another table.
He sets it up but it doesn't materialize as Kane gains control and starts to stagger the big man. A trash can shot sends V to a knee and as Kane is setting up for the choke slam, Mark Henry attacks him from out of nowhere. Henry and Big Daddy proceed to work Kane over big time, culminating in putting Kane through the table where V gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Big Daddy V
The duo admire their handiwork and we're out.
Overall, not a bad show whatsoever. It started out horribly, peaked in the middle and went a little bit down in the main event, but that match was not overly offensive. I really dig the Morrison/Miz pairing and look forward to seeing them in the future. The only other downside of this show was the lack of CM Punk, who I'd much rather see in action than Big Flabby V and Kane. See you next week!
Send Matt e-mail about ECW/wrestling/MMA/hockey/ at email@example.com. Please include your name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast ‹ Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.