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Raw: A last, desperate push for Survivor Series
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


Survivor Series is less then a week away. Really? You wouldn't know it the way WWE has pushed (or not pushed in this case) the show. I guess Vince figures the show will sell itself.

Batista of all people kicks off the show from Topeka, Kansas. (Well, it looks tonight is an all-out push for the show on Sunday.) Batista says he was invited here by William Regal to face some RAW competition. Batista says that was a mistake because he is gearing up for the Undertaker. (So we are pushing Smackdown matches on RAW? Um, brand split?) Batista is about to speak to the Undertaker, when the Dead Man decides to show up in person. William Regal walks out to stop the madness. Regal partners the two together to take on Cade and Murdoch.

Match #1 -- Batista and The Undertaker vs. Cade and Murdoch

Cade squares off the The Undertaker. The Dead Man goes Old School early, and looks for a chokeslam, when Batista tags himself in. Batista gets himself tossed shoulder first into the ring post. Batista slows down Cade with a spinebuster, but Taker tags himself back in. Cade goes for a ride with a chokeslam. Taker cuts down Murdoch with a spear, and then hits Cade with a Tombstone. Take covers for the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Batista and The Undertaker

After the match, Batista shows Undertaker what he can do by hitting Murdoch with the Batista Bomb.

Match #2 -- Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

(I don't wanna watch this. Poor Maria.) A delayed fisherman's suplex finishes Maria off.

Winner via pinfall: Beth Phoenix

Santino Marella comes down after the match to check on Maria, but then grabs a mike. Marella says Maria will be okay, and says he was victimized last week. Marella says Steve Austin can't take criticism, and he wants an apology. Since Stone Cold isn't in the building, Marella sets his sights on JR. Marella wants JR to stand up, but the King does instead. Marella wants Lawler in the ring, and offers to give him the first punch. The King enters the ring, and knocks Marella to the mat, and Santino runs off.

Santino grabs the mike from The Grish backstage and challenges Lawler to a match, tonight. King accepts the challenge.

Last week after RAW, Orton convinced Regal to ban Sweet Chin Music from his championship match with Shawn Michaels, but if Orton is DQ'ed he will lose the title.

Match #3 -- Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio, and Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy, MVP, and Finlay

Finlay faces off with Matt. Finlay hits a short arm clothesline and tags in Kennedy. MVP tags in, but doesn't want to face his tag team partner, so Kennedy tags back in. Hardy hits a cross body, and follows with a hip toss into an arm drag. Kennedy tosses Matt from the ring and we go to commercial.

Kennedy is stomping away at Hardy as we return. Hardy hits a side effect, allowing Rey to tag in as Finlay tags in. Rey misses a cross body, and MVP tags in. MVP with a knee drop MVP locks in an abdominal stretch. Mysterio knees his way out. Kennedy hits a back breaker, and drags Rey into the heel corner and tags in MVP. Mysterio counters an MVP move into a DDT. Jeff gets the hot tag, hitting a flying fore arm, and then knocking Finlay and Kennedy off the apron. MVP get hit with a whisper in the wind, but Kennedy breaks the pin. A drop toe hold sends Kennedy into the ropes, and MVP joins him. Mysterio hits a double 619, and then Jeff climbs the turnbuckles to hit a swanton on MVP and get the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, and Rey Mysterio

Vince McMahon is walking through the back.

Can you break the code? (This promo is making it pretty obvious Chris Jericho is coming back. I mean they are just short of putting _hris _ericho on the screen and asking us to guess who it is.)

Vince McMahon is in the ring to moderate the face to face meeting between Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels. HBK makes his way to the ring, followed by Randy Orton. (Does it really matter what these guys say?) Both men remind each other of the rules. Orton says he did not get himself intentionally DQ'ed, but he was just protecting himself. Orton says all HBK wants in revenge, which is why he won't win. HBK wants to prove he can win without the kick. All he needs is the memory of Orton trying to end his career. Shawn walks away from the podium and Vince tries to restrain him. Shawn feints a superkick and Orton ducks. Shawn turns to Vince, and Orton takes a shot at Michaels' knee. Orton assaults HBK, but Vince stops him from kicking Shawn in the head. Instead Orton nails HBK with an RKO.

Match #4 -- Melina, Jillian Hall, and Layla vs. Mickie James, Michelle McCool and Kelly Kelly

(Two Diva matches in one night!?! Are you kidding me! And the crowd comes to a screeching halt.) Mickie kisses Layla before knocking her out with the Mick kick.

Winner via pinfall: Mickie James, Michelle McCool and Kelly Kelly

Match #5 -- Santino Marella vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler

Lawler works over Marella with right hands. Marella responds with rights off his own. Lawler fights out of a head lock, only to get backed into the corner, and rammed in the gut with shoulder from Marella. Lawler returns to using the right hand. Marella taunts JR, but Lawler rolls him up and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Jerry "The King" Lawler

Earlier in the day, William Regal had training session with Hornswoggle to get him ready for the Great Khali at Survivor Series. Coachman comes out to stand in for Khali. Coach rips off the wig, and Regal rips into him for it. Regal tells Coach not to lay a finger on Hornswoggle. Coach gets repeatedly kicked in the shins, and then Hornswoggle bites him. Horny pulls down Coach's pants, and hits him with a tadpole splash. Coach sulks in the corner of the ring, looking like he's going to cry.

The Todd is with Triple H and wants his thoughts on Survivor Series. Hunter tells Umaga he'll be lucky to make it to Sunday.

Match #6 -- Triple H vs. Umaga -- Lumberjack Match

Triple H turns his back on Umaga, and the Samoan bulldozer takes advantage. Umaga is spilled to the outside by a low bridge, and Umaga's lumberjacks keep him safe, until Triple H flies into the pile. Hunter dodges a charge and Umaga catches the ring steps. Triple H goes for the Pedigree but is body dropped to the outside. Hunter's team rushes to his aid, and we go to commercial.

After the break, both men are slugging it out. Umaga catches Triple H and slams him to the mat. (No way this ends without all 10 men fighting in the ring.) Umaga climbs to the middle rope, and drops a knee into the chest of Hunter. Finlay gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Umaga hits a running splash, and then stomps away. Triple H scoops up Umaga, but falls backward, and Umaga nearly gets the pin. Umaga locks in a nerve pinch. Triple H breaks free, but Umaga beats Hunter into the corner. Triple H dodges a corner charge, and then tosses him into the ring post, twice. Trips hits a DDT, but only gets a two count. HHH hits a face buster, but the Umaga counters a Pedigree with a Samoan drop. Umaga goes for the spike, but Triple H counters with a spine buster. And here comes Finlay, and the rest of the lumberjacks, and then the show abruptly cuts off.

Winner via DQ: Triple H

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003.