SLAM! Sports SLAM! Wrestling
   Tue, October 30, 2007



News & Rumours
Bios
Obits
Canadian Hall of Fame
WrestleMania 30
WrestleMania 30 photos
Video
Movie Database
Minority Mat Report
Columnists
Features
Results Archive
PPV Reviews
SLAM! Wrestling store
On Facebook
On Twitter
Send Feedback




Photo Galleries

WWE Survivor Series


House of Hardcore VII


Signmania VIII


Beulah McGillicutty


Big Event 7 fan fest


Raw in Buffalo


SHIMMER tapings







SCOREBOARD
PHOTO GALLERY
VIDEO GALLERY
COMMENT





ECW: Monster Mash main event
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling


Tonight on ECW on Sci-Fi: It's Chubapalooza 2007 as Mark Henry, Kane, The Great Khali and Big Daddy V battle in a Monster Mash Battle Royal. Should be a good one!

And we are LIVE! from Long Island, NY and right off the bat, we find out that we're going to have a No. 1 Contender match tonight featuring former champion John Morrison battling The Miz (HOO-RAH!), but let's get right to the ring for our first match...

Match #1 - Elijah Burke (Jacksonville, Fla.) vs. Jimmy Wang Yang (Austell, Ga.)

So the Smackdown! Talent Exchange (or would it be Xchange since this is ECW?) brings us this fresh and exciting matchup. Burke controls the early portion of the match, but Yang fires up, culminating in a spot where Burke goes to the top rope and tries to come down, but Yang hits this ridiculous spinning back kick that hits Burke square in the kisser (awesome spot -- amazing timing). Tazz called it "Wang-tastic," but the euphoria is short-lived from Wang, as Burke takes control, throwing Yang into the ring post, then goes back and nails the Elijah Express for the victory.

Winner via pinfall: Elijah Burke

(Ads)

Backstage, keeping with the Halloween theme, Dracula Nunzio leads a group of school children through the backstage area Trick Or Treating. First they run across Balls Mahoney, who doles out candy that is probably drugged. Then they run across CM Punk (dressed as the ECW Champion, he informs us). They exchange worthless banter. Then they go to a room and knock and it's empty, but suddenly, it goes red and out comes who else but The Boogeyman! Yayyyyyy! Of course, Nunzio runs away like a little girl while Boogey does his schtick. The kids hold out their bags in front of them and Boogey proceeds to give them each a handful of worms. I'll admit it, I chuckled. A lot.

(Ads)

Match #2 - Trick Or Treat EXTREME RULES!!! Match - Dracula Nunzio (Transylvania or you know, Rockland County, NY) vs. Paul E. Dreamer (Philadelphia, Pa. or, maybe, Yonkers, NY)

Holy cripes, people. Tommy Dreamer is dressed as Paul Heyman. Almost a dead ringer. I can't even do this match justice. It was so beyond ridiculous (in a good way) that I can't even describe it. Here are some highlights:

--Joey Styles and Tazz pretty much spent 3/4 of the match trying to figure out who Dreamer was dressed like. Trust me: It was absurd.

--After a portion of the match which saw Nunzio pegging Dreamer in the back with apples, the two trying to hit each other with a pumpkin and Dreamer dumping the bucket full of apples (with water) over himself, Styles dropped this gem: "This is the oddest interpretation of extreme rules I have ever seen."

Finally, Dreamer hits Nunzio with the early 1990s-style cell phone, then with Nunzio hung up in the Tree of Woe, Dreamer does a baseball slide into the bucket which previously held the apples. After that, he hits the DDT and it's all over.

Winner via pinfall: Paul E. Dreamer

Up Next: It's another edition of Ego Bowl as John Morrison meets The Miz!

(Ads)

Now we backtrack to RAW last night, where a suddenly mega-busty Kelly Kelly won the Diva's battle royal only to be destroyed by WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix (GLAMAZON!!!)

Match #3 - #1 Contenders Match - The Miz (Cleveland, Ohio) vs. John Morrison (Los Angeles, Calif.)

The winner of this match will face CM Punk next week for the ECW Championship. As you might recall, The Miz was selected by the fans to face Punk at Cyber Sunday.

Miz gets most of the offense early, but on the outside, Morrison drops Miz face first into the barricade to gain control, but it doesn't last long, as Miz hits a face plant. Miz goes for the Reality Check, but misses it and Morrison counters and they go into a series of near falls. Morrison then hits Miz with a body shot and it doubles him over enough for Morrison to hit the Corkscrew Neckbreaker for the pin.

Winner via pinfall: John Morrison

(Ads)

John Morrison joins Styles and Tazz at the announce desk...

Match #4 - CM Punk (Chicago, Ill.) vs. James Curtis (Minneapolis, Minn.)

Squash City here, gang. Curtis gets a little bit of offense at the beginning while Morrison wonders aloud that he thinks that being Straight Edge means you listen to Hootie and the Blowfish. Back in the ring, Punk hits the GTS for the pinfall.

Winner via pinfall: CM Punk

Post match, Morrison makes a beeline for the ring and bags Punk, hitting him with the Corkscrew Neckbreaker.

Coming up next: The Monster Mash Battle Royal! Woooooo!

(Ads)

Don't forget, ladies and gents, next week for the ECW Championship: CM Punk against John Morrison.

Match #5 - Monster Mash Battle Royal - The Great Khali (India) vs. Mark Henry (Silsbee, TX) vs. Big Daddy V (Harlem, NY) vs. Kane (Hell, Fire & Brimstone)

I'm sure Jim Ross is watching this from Oklahoma and calling it "bowling shoe ugly" because I'm pretty sure this one won't be pretty. By the way, this match is being sponsored by JELL-O. Watch that jiggle!

Each man hitting some offense on one another in the early going and about two minutes in, we have our first blown spot, as Big Daddy V fails to execute a sidewalk slam on Kane.

Henry is working on Khali in the corner, but Big Daddy comes running across and hits a splash that sets them both down.

After that, V looks to splash Kane, but he moves and Kane dispatches of V. Shortly after that, Kane and Henry double team Khali and eliminate him. We're down to two: Kane and Mark Henry.

Kane gains a slight advantage over Henry and decides to go to the top rope for the flying clothesline, but Henry gets close and catches Kane in a belly-to-belly suplex position and just flings him over the top rope to pick up the win!

Winner: Mark Henry

And we're out...

Well, that was certainly one of ECW's better efforts in a long time. They advanced the ECW Title picture, even if it is a retread (at least it's a good one). And they managed to put on the first Extreme Rules match in who knows how long on this show and had five total matches. Those things, combined with the Halloween stuff made this a good show. I can dig it.

Lastly, I would like to wish the best of luck to my fellow Spartans as they head in to battle against the absolutely hated University of Michigan Wolverines this weekend here in East Lansing. SPARTANS! PREPARE FOR GLORY! Go Green!



Send Matt e-mail about ECW/wrestling/MMA/hockey/ at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include your name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.