ECW: Making their Cyber Sunday cases
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on ECW on Sci-Fi: John Morrison made his return last week and scored a
decisive win over ECW Champion CM Punk. This week, some big changes are in
store for ECW, as the Smackdown! roster is welcomed to the Land of
And we are TAPED! from the "United Kingdom" and tonight: CM Punk and ???
vs. John Morrison, Big Daddy V and The Miz (HOO-RAH!).
We start out with the "Shaman of Sexy" (Tazz's words, not mine, FYI) John
Morrison, who grabs a mic.
Of course, he implores the fans to vote for him to receive the ECW Title
shot at Cyber Sunday and takes us back to last week, showing us his
demolition of the champ.
This brings out The Miz, complete with mic in hand. He makes fun of
Morrison, saying he gets more girls in one night than Morrison does in a
lifetime. In fact, he's bored with them (Oooooook there, slugger!). All
this, of course, is his appeal to the fans to choose him.
Morrison claims he is bigger than sports entertainment, The Beatles and
everyone in ECW.
Of course, nobody in ECW is bigger than Big Daddy V, a perfect segue to
bring out everyone's favorite flabby wrestler this side of Samoa Joe.
Matt Striker points out the obvious and campaigns for his charge to get
the title shot.
Which, of course, brings out the champ, CM Punk. He says they all make
extremely valid points. He says he, too, has a vote and gives props to V and
Morrison while dissing Miz.
Tonight, he and a tag team partner face the trio in the ring. And he got
the OK from general manager Armando Estrada to pick anyone he wanted. His
Match #1 - Handicap Match - CM Punk (Chicago, Ill.) & Kane (Hell, Fire
& Brimstone) vs. Big Daddy V (Harlem, NY), John Morrison (Los Angeles,
Calif.) & The Miz (Cleveland, Ohio)
(Ads...included in our ad package was an ad imploring me to visit
Nebraska. Things I'd do before visiting Nebraska for leisure: Going second
in a game of Ro-Sham-Bo)
Match is in progress and Punk is getting his ribs worked over, but
eventually gets the hot tag to the Big Red Machine. Kane controls Morrison
before tagging Punk back into the match, where Morrison gets ahead with an
attack to the ribs before handing it over to Miz.
Eventually, it becomes Big Daddy V's turn to squash Punk and he does so
magnificently, press slamming the champ and then standing on his back.
The potential title challengers effectively cut the ring off, keeping
Punk away from his partner.
Back from break, and, in a shocking development, Punk is still getting
his ass handed to him with no end in sight. Kane just cannot find his way
into this match.
Finally, Punk reverses a suplex and gets the tag to Kane, who runs
through Miz and Morrison. Kane goes to the top and hits the flying
clothesline on Morrison and goes for the cover, but it is broken up by Miz,
which Kane promptly no sells, and we eventually get the battle of the
titans, as Morrison tags in Big Daddy V!
V gets the edge early on, but the tides turn when V missed the splash in
the corner. Miz blind tags V and goes to the top rope, but Kane catches him
by the throat. Morrison runs in and dislodges Miz, but Punk takes Morrison
out and Kane hits the chokeslam on Miz for the three count!
Winners via pinfall: CM Punk and Kane
We then run down the entire Cyber Sunday card with Kane's music still
rattling in the background and get a replay of the proceedings and Kane
blows the ring posts.
In case you have the attention span of a cricket, here's what happened
six minutes ago.
Backstage, Morrison berates Miz for getting pinned. Morrison says he's
sick of Miz costing him votes because he's a loser and asks him how he feels
about losing again tonight and challenges him to a match. Miz says he just
got chokeslammed by Kane, screw that! But he immediately sucker punches
Morrison and tells him he's on! We've got a main event, gang!
Last Week: Miz knocked Balls Mahoney off the ring apron, causing a count
out and punts the Balls Bear into the crowd.
Backstage with Balls, he tells us that Kelly Kelly is stuck between a
rock and a hard place with him being the hard place. Kelly comes out and
says that she shouldn't do this, but asks Balls to go out with her. Of
course, Balls says yes and they merrily skip away.
We immediately transition to a general manager meeting between Estrada
and Smackdown! general manager Vickie Guerrero. She says it's a two way
street, and Estrada agrees. Guerrero says she brought a tag team with her
and it's Jesse and Festus! Estrada informs them they have a match tonight,
and it is next.
Match #2 - Elijah Burke (Jacksonville, Fla.) & Nunzio (Rockland
County, NY) vs. Jesse & Festus
Pretty much a showcase for the Smackdown! duo here, but what I'm more
shocked about is that THERE'S ACTUAL TAG TEAM WRESTLING ON ECW!!!
With Jesse in the ring, the crowd chants for Festus and he comes in and
dominates, launching Jesse into Nunzio for the three count.
Winners via pinfall: Jesse & Festus
Up next! Ego Bowl II as The Miz battles John Morrison in tonight's main
Match #3 - The Miz (Cleveland, Ohio) vs. John Morrison (Los Angeles,
Back and forth action early on, but Morrison takes control hitting that
spinning kick thing that draws a polite applause from the crowd. After a
move off the top rope that leaves both men down, Big Daddy V's music hits
and you can almost see the arena shaking as he wastes no time in going to
Big Daddy V hits a sidewalk slam on Miz, a Samoan Drop on Morrison, bangs
on his chest and calls it a night.
Winner via domination: Big Daddy V
So I'm going to give this new setup a few weeks before passing complete
judgment, but I like it right now. We'll see if they pull a few more tricks
out the bag next week when they're back in the good ol' U S of A.
MATT'S EXTREME MAILBAG
Old time ECW fans still enjoy Tommy Dreamer, even here at the end of his
career. We also really like CM Punk as a torch bearer. Also, in an odd way,
John Morrison really pulls off his act well. Perhaps WWE should sell this
show as newcomers or top minor league talent and sell similar to Ring of
Honor as action/wrestling and cutout fluff/extraneous storylines. Maybe a
different mix would pull better ratings.
--L. Ross, Sinking Spring, Penn.
L.R. -- Thanks for writing in. I've been saying it all along, but they
should promote ECW as being "the future of WWE." In a way, it's almost what
they're doing, just unsaid. ECW has a lot of talent, it just seems like it's
been stagnant of late. This week's edition, with an influx of new talent,
goes against using it as a televised developmental show, but does freshen
things up a little bit.
Send Matt e-mail about ECW/wrestling/MMA/hockey/ at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your
name and hometown. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out
Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio, where a
preview of UFC 77: Hostile Territory will be posted later this week. Should
be a good one!