ECW: Morrison returns, faces Punk

ECW: Morrison returns, faces Punk

By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling

Tonight on ECW: How is ECW Champion CM Punk after his beatdown at the hands of Big Daddy V at No Mercy? Well, after this week's edition of ECW on Sci-Fi, he's not feeling much better, as the former champ returned to give Punk a Motor City beatdown.

And we are LIVE! from my hometown, the Motor City, Detroit, Mich. as the city hosts its first WWE event since WrestleMania 23 in early April. We get an immediate graphic telling us that tonight, we'll see CM Punk battle a returning John Morrison.

And they waste no time, taking us to our first match:

Match #1 - Big Daddy V (w/ Matt Striker/Harlem, NY) vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/black bandana/Yonkers, NY)

This is a rematch of last weeks "match" where Big Daddy stole the No Mercy title shot from Dreamer after general manager Armando Estrada placed a new contestant into the Elimination Chase.

The match is all V early on, as you would imagine and he finishes it with the big elbow. *YAWN* Was there a point to that?

Winner via pinfall: Big Daddy V

Tonight! Balls Mahoney vs. The Miz! Also, CM Punk vs. John Morrison!

Match #2 - Kevin Thorn (Phoenix, Ariz.) vs. James Curtis (Minneapolis, Minn.)

Squash city continues in this match, as Thorn essentially dominates before hitting Original Sin for the three count.

Winner via pinfall: Kevin Thorn

Am I watching WWF Wrestling Challenge or am I watching ECW?

Hey, a preview for The Condemned...we haven't seen this a million times already!

But now they make up for it because it's time for The Miz (HOO-RAH!)

Match #3 - The Miz (Cleveland, Ohio) vs. Balls Mahoney (Nutley, NJ)

Tazz asserts that Miz is "big pimpin'" by owning the contracts of Extreme Expos�. Kelly is clearly rooting for Balls on the outside (did I really just type that?). Inside the ring, the action is going back-and-forth before Balls starts firing up with the Balls Punches and a body slam before he gets distracted by Kelly going to the outside and is pushed off the apron into the announce table.

Winner via countout: The Miz

Post-match, Kelly is checking on Balls on the outside while Miz picks up the Balls Bear and goes to offer it to Kelly before executing the best punt seen on WWE television since Gene Snitsky punted a fake baby into the crowd in 2004 (still one of my all-time favorite RAW moments, by the way). The replay reveals the great distance that the bear got. Maybe Miz should try out for the Lions.

Still to come...CM Punk vs. John Morrison!

Match #4 - John Morrison (Los Angeles, Calif.) vs. CM Punk (Chicago, Ill.)

Punk is out with his ribs taped and that is pretty much the story of the match early on. Punk tries some offense, but is limited by his ribs. This is culminated in Punk looking to suplex Morrison onto the steel steps, only to have Morrison reverse and lift Punk up and send him ribs-first onto the steps.

Punk is just getting worked over as Morrison is throwing everything but the kitchen sink at those injured ribs. But finally, Punk gets going, but is still limited by the ribs, as they are slowing him down after every move.

Morrison hits his big kick, but only gets two. Morrison goes up top, but doesn't get up in time and Punk grabs him, but Morrison escapes and nails Punk in the ribs and follows up with a jumping kick to the head, but again gets two. Punk eventually goes to the top with his back to the ring but is crotched by Morrison. Morrison grabs him and nails a...well, I don't even know what to call it. He has Punk in a reverse DDT position and executes a suplex with Punk landing right on his ribs. It's academic from there, as Morrison gets the three count and a victory over the champ.

Winner via pinfall: John Morrison

Well, gang, the second half of the show tried to make up for the first half, but it was a difficult thing to try and do. This was not one of ECW's best efforts, to say the least. Hopefully, they can put a better effort out there next week.

Come on, people! Doesn't anyone care about ECW? Send Matt e-mail about ECW/wrestling/hockey at bishop20@msu.edu. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast - Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!