October 2, 2007
Raw: Throwing away the first Cena-Kennedy bout
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
After being under the weather last week, I'm well enough to return to RAW. I have a feeling that many superstars will be feeling well enough to return this week, too.
Vince kicks off the show from Cleveland, Ohio, and is in the ring with three physical specimens. All are amateur wrestlers specializing in a different fighting style. Vince is going to give a demonstration of what he's going to do to Triple H. Vince backs out at the last minute, and calls in Umaga.
The Samoan bulldozer lives up to his name and cleans house. Umaga hits a whiplash, and the crowd chants for Triple H. Umaga picks up the sumo champion and drills him with the Samoan Spike.
Match #1 -- Jeff Hardy, Paul London and Brian Kendrick vs. Shelton Benjamin, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
London locks up with Murdoch, and then hits a leg scissors. Kendrick tags in to take on Benjamin. Shelton hits a gut busters, and tags in Cade. Kendrick is tossed into the turnbuckle. Murdoch tags in, and slaps on a head vice. Jeff Hardy gets the hot tag, clearing Cade from the ring, and then hits an atomic drop on Murdoch, and then a leg drop to the abs. Hardy climbs the turnbuckle, only to be pulled off by Shelton. London hits a shooting star press from off the apron to take out Benjamin, and Kendrick takes out Cade. Hardy recovers and hits Murdoch with a swanton bomb and gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Jeff Hardy, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick
William Regal is back and "recovered" from his attack by Cena. Vince welcomes him back, and praises his match making skills in the ring. John Cena will take on Ken Kennedy. Vince then asks Regal to take care of his son, and it ain't Shane. Regal promptly loses the little guy.
JR asks Randy Orton why he isn't at Raw, tonight. Orton says he as elected to wait in Chicago for Cena, since the champ isn't in the right frame of mind since his father was attacked. Orton says Cena won't be standing on Sunday.
The Cleveland Indians are in the house. (On a personal note, as a Phillies fan, I have one thing to say to any Mets out there: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!)
William Regal is still looking for Hornswoggle. He runs into the Highlanders and wants to know why they turned down a match against London and Kendrick. Robbie or is it Rory says they want a championship match.
Match #2 -- Cody Rhodes vs. Hardcore Holly
Rhodes starts off with an armbar. Rhodes is shot off the ropes, and runs right into a drop kick. Holly with chops in the corner, and Rhodes fights out of the corner. Rhodes counters a suplex into a roll up. Holly catches Rhodes trying go up and over in the corner, and hits him with the Alabama Slam.
Winner via pinfall: Hardcore Holly
Cody Rhodes offers to face Randy Orton. Coach turns him down, and then runs into the champ. Cena tells him to call off the match, or he won't be held responsible for what happens. Coach tells Cena he will have a match, and if Cena wins the Orton match is off.
Beth Phoenix is announced as she comes to the ring. She stops Lillian and takes the mike. She says it's just a matter of time until she becomes champion. She wants Lillian to announce her as champion. Lillian humors her, as the crowd boos. Lillian says that's assuming she wins (It's kind of like assuming your team is going to win the NL East **cough, cough** Mets). Beth grabs Lillian by the throat, but Candice makes the save.
Match #3 -- Triple H vs. Vince McMahon
How many times do we have to sit through this? Vince wants to remind us of a recent incident and shows Triple H taking out Umaga with chair shots and a sledgehammer. Vince orders Triple H's entrance to be cut short, and wants to start the match, but there is no referee. Vince hollers for a ref, but Carlito comes out, and he is in ref gear. Vince doesn't seem to mind. The bell rings, and Vince cowers in the corner, and Carlito protects him. Vince ducks out of the ring, and Carlito fends off Hunter. Triple H slips out the side, and Vince runs. Carlito employs a very slow count, and Triple H finally catches him. Hunter smashes Vince into the announce table, and Carlito admonishes him. Carlito slaps Carlito and Hunter hits him. Triple H rolls Vince into the ring, and sets up for a Pedigree. Carlito hits the back stabber, and rolls Vince on top of Triple H. Hunter kicks out. HHH hits a low blow on Vince and attacks Carlito, who calls for the bell.
Winner via DQ: Vince McMahon
After the match, Umaga hits the ring. Trips hits two clotheslines and a DDT, but Umaga is right back up. Umaga hits Trips with the whiplash in the corner. Carlito clotheslines Triple H out of the ring, actually saving him from a spike. Hunter gets a sledgehammer out from under the ring, and Umaga just stares him down. Umaga is summoned from the ring by Vince.
Marella at the Movies
Santino and Maria are here to review The Condemned. Santino didn't lie it and didn't like Stone Cold. Maria enjoyed it. Marella says the movie needed a star, like Santino Marella. We then see a clip from the movie, with Santino added in. (Didn't see that coming.) I never thought I say this, but thank goodness Val Venis interrupts. Val says he knows something about acting talents. Take Maria for interest. Val says she can be in his sequel to Mr. Woodcock. Santino hits Venis with a cheap shot, and works over Venis' knee.
The Grish is with WWE champ John Cena. The Grish wants to know how he feels about some people saying Orton may have already won. Cena says "they" are a creepy group that has lost it. The champ says they know No Mercy is his time. Cena will stand tall and will get up. Cena says let them talk, he will beat Orton so bad they will never forget it.
Match #4 -- Melina vs. Mickie James
Melina and Mickie lock up, with Mickie getting tossed to the mat. Mickie slams Melina face first. Melina pulls Mickie's hair. James hits a clothesline and then an enzeguri. Mickie hits a head scissors. Melina sets up Mickie for her finisher, but is distracted by Hornswoggle poking his head out from apron. Mickie counters and gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Mickie James
After the match, Melina goes under the ring. Hornswoggle emerges with Melina's top. He goes back under and comes back with her bottoms. Melina tries to get her clothes back, but Horny runs up the ramp, and Melina is trapped under the ring with only her head poking out from under the apron.
Dr. Steve-O is in the house to pimp his show. He calls Regal a cross dresser, and Hornswoggle runs off again. Regal just takes an interest in Melina's outfit.
Steve-O comes across Ron Simmons and thinks he can toughen him up. Simmons has one thing to say, after he tosses Steve-O out the door, "DAMN!"
Match #5 -- John Cena vs. Mr. Kennedy -- Non-title
In what is billed as their first ever meeting, Kennedy and Cena size each other up, and then lock up. Kennedy gets the upperhand with a side headlock. Kennedy with a shoulder block, but then Cena hits a hip toss followed by an arm drag. Cena wants a test of strength, but Kennedy just kicks him in the gut. Kennedy smashes Cena into the ring steps.
After the break, Kennedy hits a huge DDT, but cannot get the three count. Cena reverse headlock with a back body suplex. The champ drops Kennedy with a toe hold and then locks in the STF-U. Kennedy taps.
Winner via submission: John Cena
After the match, Orton slips into the ring and hits the RKO, so much for being in Chicago. Orton then hits Cena in the head with the ring steps. Orton strips the announce table, clocking Cena with a monitor, and then delivers an RKO on the table. Orton starts a ten count. Cena doesn't answer the bell. The show ends with Cena on the floor and Orton in the ring.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is still in disbelief that then Phillies actually won. Although, The Great Khali was the World Heavyweight champ, and Steve-O has his own show, so we guess anything can happen.