It's a new low, but it might be fun
TIM BAINES - Ottawa Sun
He may be only 4-foot-5 and 119 lbs. ... and he finds Lucky Charms magically delicious ... but Hornswoggle is making Mr. McMahon's life a living hell.
Now let's distinguish between perception and reality. Perception is that Hornswoggle is a fun-loving leprechaun, who was illegitimately sired by Vince McMahon many moons ago. Perception is that Hornswoggle was nearly adopted this week on Monday Night RAW, until his new family was scared away.
Reality is that Hornswoggle, the "midget" formerly known as Little Bastard, is Dylan Postl, a 21-year-old lad from Wisconsin. Not Irish. Not a McMahon. Just Dylan Postl and his cruiserweight championship. WWE can have some fun with this angle. It would have been more interesting if Ken Kennedy or Triple H was the son. But we'll yuck it up with the little leprechaun. And we'll hope this plot leads to something more rewarding than Mae Young calving out a bloody human hand.
NEW CHAMP: Batista again rules the Smackdown! roost, beating Rey Mysterio and The Great Khali to win the heavyweight title at last Sunday's Unforgiven pay-per-view. Other results: John Cena lost by DQ to Randy Orton; Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch beat Paul London and Brian Kendrick; CM Punk beat Elijah Burke; MV Pand Matt Hardy beat Deuce and Domino; Triple H beat Carlito; The Undertaker beat Mark Henry; and Candice Michelle beat Beth Phoenix.
GOING, GOING, GONE: Fresh out the door for WWE are Marcus Cor Von (the former Monty Brown) and Sonny Siaki.
GOING, GOING, RETURNING: If you want to find out exactly which wrestlers got into deep doodoo over the WWE steroid scandal, just put together a list of wrestlers you haven't seen on TV in the past few weeks. Some of them will magically reappear in a couple of weeks, maybe even elevated into their old rules. But perhaps some won't be back.
VOTE CANADIAN: How about a Canadian as WWE's next diva? Lyndy Frieson, a piping hot 25-year-old from Williams Lake, B.C., is one of seven remaining finalists in the WWE Diva Search. Fan voting -- text and e-mail at wwe.com -- determines who'll get sent home next. Surely our faithful readers will ensure that our Canadian hottie gets past this round. Go vote now!