ECW: Big Daddy V crushes Punk
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Let's get into tonight's edition of the always epic ECW on Sci-Fi, lead by the Elimination Chase to No Mercy. Should be a good one!
Moments ago on ECW (or, you know, last week): Stevie Richards was the first man eliminated from the Elimination Chase and Big Daddy V knocked off The Boogeyman, who apparently wasn't coming to get the big man.
Joey Styles and Tazz welcome us inside the Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Ind. and let us know that CM Punk will battle Matt Striker in tonightís main event, but first ...
Match #1 - Triple Threat Match - Elijah Burke vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/ Red Bandana) vs. Kevin Thorn
And weíre off as Thorn knocks Dreamer out early and engages in battle with Burke. Dreamer, using his head, just stands back and observes things from outside the ring before heís found out and thrown back into the ring by Thorn. Tazz lets us know that this isnít Dreamerís first rodeo.
Dreamer knocks Burke out of the ring and Thorn throws Dreamer shoulder-first into the ring post. After a quick beatdown, the bandana decides to separate itself from Dreamerís head, much like his hair.
In the strangest sequence of near-falls ever, each competitor pulls out every small package/cradle/sunset flip in the book on each other before Dreamer and Burke do a double-team backslide on Thorn that gets two.
They all stand off, earning an ovation from the crowd, which gives us a perfect opportunity for some
And weíre back with Burke working on Dreamer, but not for long, as Burke flies at Dreamer, but he ducks and Burke goes flying over the ropes to the floor.
After some uninspired offense from Thorn, Dreamer hits a sliding dropkick on our favorite vampire who is on the outside. Dreamer goes to the ring apron but is punched in the stomach by Burke. Thorn then steamrolls Burke and they head back into the ring.
Thorn taunts Burke, slapping him in the back of the head, but he hits 4-Up. Dreamer comes back, puts burke in tree of woe and hits a running dropkick, but while celebrating, heís nailed by Thorn, but that only gets two. Burke goes up top, but is stopped by Dreamer, who goes for a superplex and Thorn for the power bomb, but Thorn pulls out, but canít get the power bomb.
Dreamer applies Texas Cloverleaf, but is booted in the head by Thorn for two. Dreamer gets up and hits the DDT on Thorn, but is thrown out of the ring by Burke, who covers Thorn and gets the three count! The opportunist strikes again!
Loser and eliminated from the Elimination Chase: Kevin Thorn
Backstage, CM Punk chums it up with some production assistants before running into Matt Striker and Big Daddy V. Striker and his new hair-do buzz Punk on how he was truant from school. Punk says he was so good at school that he ended up teaching a couple of the teachers. Striker then introduces us to his star pupil, Big Daddy V, who growls like my dog. Punk says heíll see Striker in school.
Back from break, in case you missed all two hours of it last night, the RAW Rebound eats up about three minutes of ECWís precious airtime.
Match #2 - Nunzio vs. Mike Knox
Holy hell, who booked this crap? This one has squash written all over it.
Knox hits a shoulder block, a toss, some punches, a shot to the back, a backbreaker, a leg drop, some punches, a knee to the face, some punches and an Irish-whip to the corner (which Nunzio surprisingly moves out of the way and hits some leg kicks). To my shock, Nunzio hits a running dropkick to the downed Knox, but is thrown off with authority when he goes for the pin. Knox then hits a bicycle kick and thatís all she wrote.
This lasted longer than I thought (over three minutes), but regardless: Move along, nothing to see here.
Winner via pinfall: Mike Knox
Extreme Exposť is walking down the hall and are eventually joined by The Miz (HOO-RAH!) while Kelly Kelly has a slight look of disgust on her face.
We then get the ominous Matrix-style promo, but enough about that, letís head straight to ...
Match #3 - The Miz (w/ Extreme Exposť) vs. Silas Young
Something tells me itís going to be an easy night for The Miz.
Miz pretty much has his way with Young before hitting the Reality Check for three. Thanks for coming, Silas! No, you canít hit up the buffet on your way out!
Winner via pinfall: The Miz
Exposť comes to celebrate with Miz when the music of the one and only Balls Mahoney hits, who is there to talk with Kelly.
Balls asks Kelly once again for a date as Miz and the other bimbos chuckles. Kelly gets the mic, but Miz takes it from her and says Kelly will give him and answer before hitting him over the head with the mic. Kelly shows concern, but is dragged away by the other three.
Itíll only be appropriate if Balls gets his answer next week from the Nutter Center in Dayton, Ohio.
Tonight! CM Punk vs. Matt Striker!
Some more WWE filler, as we go to New York City for Steve Austinís autograph signing for his sweet movie, The Condemned. This was tolerable last night on RAW. Tonight? Not so much.
We then recap the Triple Threat Match from earlier tonight, in case you missed it. So, live! next week, weíll have Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke.
And who wouldíve thunk it, the two are talking backstage. Burke calls the match epic -- 10 years ago when Dreamer mightíve been able to hang with him. He tells Dreamer that next week, his chase to No Mercy will come to an end. Dreamer tells him that he has something that Burke will never have: Heart.
Match #4 - Matt Striker (w/ Big Daddy V) vs. CM Punk
Punk controls early and sends Striker to the outside and flies out onto him. Punk, distracted by Big Daddy V, takes his focus off Striker and Striker takes advantage and rams Punkís hand into the steel steps twice. Punk sells it nicely, only using one hand on a roll-up attempt.
Striker continues to work on the hand. Quite the innovative offense, if you ask me. Punk just canít do anything with the hand, allowing Striker to nail Punk with a vicious running knee, but it only gets two.
Striker works over the hand some more, yelling at the ref to ask Punk if he submits, and then, in funniest moment of the show, puts Punkís hand into the Big Daddy V symbol and yells out "Heís a Big Daddy V fan!" Bwhahahahahaha.
But Striker gets over-confident and Punk takes over and despite the hand, hits GTS for three.
Winner via pinfall: CM Punk
But almost immediately, Big Daddy V strikes with a big clothesline and hits a Samoan drop on Punk and stands over the fallen champion. Styles: "Itís like the entire country of Samoa coming down on your sternum!"
Big Daddy V continues to stand over Punk and we are out.
Well, that was an interesting show. Nothing to write home about, but nothing too terribly offensive, either. Hopefully Burke and Dreamer put on a good show next week. See you then.
MATT'S LEFTOVER ECW MAILBAG
(To former ECW writer Matt Mackinder) - Dude, I still say you are entirely too rough on ECW. Name any matches on Raw or Smackdown this year that were as good as Punk/Morrison or even the Fatal Four Way (last week). Not to mention compared to (the Sept. 17) Raw, (last week's) episode of ECW looked like Wrestlemania 3.
I just thought I'd let somebody know that people do enjoy the program even though WWE
doesn't think it's a priority.
--Dan Hallberg, Valparaiso, Ind.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Matt Mackinder and his wife Stephanie just had a second baby, so he's asked to be removed from the weekly SLAM! Wrestling roster until further notice. He swears it has nothing to do with the quality of the ECW product or the emails.
Send Matt Bishop all your ECW/wrestling/hockey feedback at firstname.lastname@example.org. Who knows, your e-mail could be featured in next weekís ECW Mailbag! HOO-RAH!