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Smackdown: Khali puts the squeeze on Batista
By ANDY McNAMARA - SLAM! Wrestling


Unforgiven is just 48 hours away, and there will be no forgiveness shown on Smackdown, from Minneapolis. MVP and Matt Hardy continue their preparation to defend the tag team titles at the pay-per-view, and the night grows eerie as The Undertaker's big return approaches. Two thirds of this Sunday's main event also takes place as Batista and The Great Khali slug it out in a non-title war. On to the report!

Match 1: Michelle McCool w/ Chuck Palumbo vs. Victoria w/ Kenny Dykstra

This divas match kicks off the show with McCool and Victoria trading submissions. Dykstra tosses water in Michelle's face and Palumbo goes berserk attacking him all over the ring. As we come back from commercials GM Long has made this contest into a tag match and Palumbo nails a stalling suplex to continue his dominance. We are told that the referee called Michelle and Victoria a double DQ and restarted it as a tag. Kenny gains control briefly by working the left leg, and after some scrambling it's Victoria and McCool back in action. Michelle connects with a sloppy head kick for the three.

WINNERS: Michelle McCool & Chuck Palumbo

Back in GM Theodore Long's office Jesse and Festus have been put in charge by Ron Simmons to handle Long's bachelor party. A bunch of women storm in along with several wrestlers and Teddy's son. Everyone starts dancing around.

In the ring is a rather large looking druid, which turns out to be Mark Henry. He says that his power is real not magic and shows yet another video of him taking out The Undertaker. A gong hits, a new Taker video is played featuring The Dead Man himself. A lightning bolt hits the entrance ramp and a flaming Undertaker symbol is left. Taker's voice comes over the speakers and tells Henry that this Sunday he will rest ... in ... peace.

In the locker room MVP and Matt Hardy are playing chess. The U.S. champ is taking a long while to move and when he finally does Hardy puts on the checkmate right away. MVP sneezes and knocks all the pieces off to ruin the game. Matt is not upset as he tells his tag partner that he has put together a warm-up match for him tonight in anticipation of their tag team battle at Unforgiven. Hardy says the fans will all chant and cheer for MVP.

Match 2: Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Before getting in the ring Noble checks underneath it in search for the newest McMahon, Hornswaggle. Was anyone else incredibly disappointed with that choice of a son? Well that's what a slew of suspensions will do I suppose. Moore begins with a quick drop kick for a one count, and continues by working over Noble's arm. Noble is able to hit an electric chair, but surprisingly Moore is for the majority in control. After some impressive high flying back and forth action Moore pretends that Hornswaggle is coming out from under the ring. This distracts Noble and allows Moore to roll him up for the pinfall.

WINNER: Shannon Moore

Vickie Guerrero is in the back and tells Krystal she needs help with the dress and it's a surprise stagette. Torrie Wilson and the Exteme Expose are in attendance.

Match 3: MVP vs. Domino

MVP is out to the ring in his suit, but is still able to take it to Domino with some knee lifts. Cherry distracts the ref allowing Domino to trip up MVP, hit a leg drop and gain a near fall. Hardy soon after grabs the mic on the outside and yells "MVP" and the audience adds "sucks" afterwards. MVP makes his comeback until Domino rakes the eyes and picks up a two count following an elbow drop. Once the United States titleholder connects with a drop toe hold, Deuce gets up on the apron. Hardy drags Deuce down, however, MVP yells at Matt not to help him. Domino takes advantage and rolls him up for a quick win.

WINNER: Domino

Krystal's bachelorette party is shown again in the back with gifts being exchanged and the final one being in a big box. You guessed it ... out pops Big Dick Johnson to dance.

Match 4: Belfast Brawl- Finlay vs. Kane

Finlay goes right after Kane with the shillelagh and follows that up with some European uppercuts and knees. The action eventually goes into the ring once Kane reverses an Irish whip into the steel steps, and it's now all The Big Red Machine. Eventually Finlay forces things back to the outside and slams his opponents arm to the steel steps. The Irishman then looks under the apron for Hornswaggle ... but his sidekick is nowhere to be found, and this gives Kane the opportunity to slam him into the ring post. Coming back from the commercial break, Finlay is working over Kane's arm inside the squared circle, partly with a chair and then removes the turnbuckle pad. The crafty Finlay rams the monster into the exposed corner shoulder first and then continues to focus on it. Kane looks to have the momentum by throwing both Finlay and the steel steps into the ring. He goes to use the steps, but Finlay is able to use the chair to hit Kane in his still injured ribs. Finlay nails The Celtic Cross and wins the Belfast Brawl.

WINNER: Finlay

In the back Teddy Long is locked out of his office in only his boxer shorts and Krystal finds him, but she is wearing one of her lingerie gifts. Both argue about Long having women and Krystal having Big Dick Johnson around. Ron Simmons steps in, and says "Damn."

Match 5: Main Event- Non-title: Batista vs. The Great Khali

A slow paced battle of two poor workers. Khali pounds on Batista early and The Animal narrowly escapes the claw hold by kicking the giant in the leg. As action spills to the outside, Batista spears the world heavyweight champion into the steel post. This surprisingly does little to hurt him and Khali goes right back after Batista. The Animal hits a half decent looking spinebuster and calls for the Batista Bomb. Khali battles out, chops Batista, and locks in the claw hold. Batista gets his leg to the rope, but Khali refuses to break the hold. The official has no choice but to disqualify The Great Khali who keeps the vice grip on Batista's skull well after the bell.

WINNER: Batista by DQ

Andy McNamara is a SLAM! Wrestling writer, a play-by-play broadcaster for both Toronto Maple Leafs inter-county league baseball on Rogers television, and on the radio for Durham College sports. Contact Andy at andymcnamara@hotmail.com.