Raw: McMahon's little bastard revealed
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
Who is Vince McMahon's son? Personally, the bigger question is with all these superstars "injured" for about a month will we see an end or temporary suspension of the brand split? We'll find out as Monday Night Raw comes to us from Green Bay, Wisconsin.
kicks off the show, heading to the ring with Coach in tow. Vince says his illegitimate son is here, tonight. Vince is upset that this woman is playing games with him in public. Vince says he does take some satisfaction that his son isn't from Green Bay, as Coach rips up the WWE magazine with Mr. Kennedy on the cover. Vince says Kennedy should be suspended for impersonating a McMahon. Vince starts ranting that he wants to know who his son is, and Khali's music hits. The World Heavyweight champion makes his way to the ring.
Khali mumbles something, and the interpreter does his job. Khali never knew his father and would be proud to be called the Great McMahon. Then John Bradshaw Layfield joins the party. JBL says that "things are looking up" because JBL is also a self-made millionaire.
Jeff Hardy comes out next. Hardy says he knew his father, but everyone looks up when he wrestles. Vince points out Jeff looks nothing like his brother, Matt. Jeff he hopes he isn't Vince's son, he wanted to come out here and be told he isn't Vince's son.
The Lawyer, Mr. Johnson, interrupts. Johnson says he has the answer but won't reveal who the son is until his client is good and ready. Johnson says it isn't Jeff Hardy. Hardy cheers the news. Vince doesn't take kindly to that, and books Jeff in a match with the Great Khali.
Match #1 – Paul London w/ Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade w/
Cade and London lock up, and break cleanly in the corner. London applies a hammerlock, which Cade counters. London hits an atomic drop and follows with a head scissors. London runs into a back elbow and Cade stomps him on the mat. Cade hits a back suplex, getting a near fall. Cade forces London into the corner, but then runs into a kick. London follows with a springboard missile drop kick. Cade hits a back body drop, and then a shoulder block. Cade sets London on the top rope. London fights him off. Trevor Murdoch tires to interfere, but is admonished by the ref. Kendrick takes advantage and hits sliced bread #2 on Cade, allowing London to makes the cover.
Winner via pinfall: Paul London w/ Brian Kendrick
Triple H pimps his new shirt as we go to break.
Event Security has the building surrounded to keep John Cena out. Nice pink shirts, guys. Coach says William Regal is nowhere near being able to return to work after the beating at Cena's hands. Coach informs Vince he has barred Cena from the building. Coach then talks about the poll on WWE.com. Stevie Richards was the number two vote getter. Vince starts laughing, and tells Stevie's mom to keep voting. Vince wants to know who is number one. Coach tells him it is Triple H.
The Grish is with Carlito and asks him if he's nervous about his match with Triple H. Carlito says tonight he can pick Triple H's opponent, and pay attention to what happens after the match.
Match #2 – Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin w/ Carlito
Triple H takes down Shelton, but Benji fights his way out of the corner. Benjamin nearly reverses a vertical suplex, but is instead tossed into the ringpost. Triple H takes down Shelton with an arm wringer, and then tossed into the
ringpost, again. Triple H then tosses Benji over the announce table into Carlito's lap.
After the break, Benjamin has Triple H in a headlock. Triple H breaks free, but Benji hits a DDT. Benjamin slaps on a chinlock. Triple H breaks free and goes for the Pedigree. Benji dodges and hits a springboard elbow. The Game hits shoulders to the gut, and follows with a clothesline. Triple H hits the high knee and then a spinebuster. Carlito distracts Trips, but Benjamin misses the corner splash. Triple H hits the Pedigree and gets the pin.
After the match, Carlito tries to attack The Game with a chair. Triple H dodges it, grabs the chair and Carlito runs off.
Winner via pinfall: Triple H
After the match, Coach informs Triple H his match at Unforgiven is now a no disqualification, for Carlito only.
Randy Orton is on his way to the ring.
Orton says Unforgiven marks the one year anniversary of Cena's title win. Orton goes on to say that this title defense is now personal, which gives the edge to Orton. Cena runs through the crowd, and Orton yells for security to do their job. Cena hits the ring and fights with Orton. Security
pulls the two apart. Orton runs off and Cena can't fight through all the guards.
Vince and Coach are walking through the back. Vince is scolding Coach to do his job. Vince is lived that Cena showed up. Vince breaks through the guards, getting face to face with Cena. The champ says he wants to talk to the man that gave a damn about his own father. Cena says Orton's blood will run cold with fear.
Match #3 – Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall
Candice Michelle joins JR and King on commentary. Jillian hits a clothesline and follows with a cartwheel splash in the corner.
Mickie and Jillian trade forearms, and James hits a neck breaker. Jillian hits an electric chair. James responds with the Mick Kick, and gets the win.
Winner via pinfall: Mickie James
After the match, Beth Phoenix runs in, laying out James and Hall. Candice hits the ring, and Beth Phoenix drops her with the Phoenix driver.
Match #4 – Santino Marella vs. The Sandman
Santino Marella is sad because of the passing of Pavarotti. Marella
then takes a shot at American culture. Santino wants Sandman to drop the Kendo stick. Marella attacks as Sandman enters the ring. Sandman hits a back elbow. Santino whips Sandman across the ring, and Sandman may have injured his leg. Marella slams Sandman to the mat. Santino is tossed out of the ring, and Sandman hits a plancha over the top rope. Marella picks up the Kendo stick and nails Sandman, with the ref calling for the bell. Santino tries to break the stick over his knee, but ends up hurting himself.
Winner via DQ: The Sandman
Maria is talking to Ron Simmons about her relationship with Santino. She says it hasn't been the same since the Dating Game. Marella jumps Ron from behind, knocking him into
some kegs. Santino takes Maria, but not before saying, "Damn!"
The new Diva Search is starting. Where is that remote?
Match #5 – The Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy
I'll be honest. This is nothing more than a squash match. Khali locks in the head vice, and Hardy passes out. Khali covers with one boot to get the win.
Winner via pinfall: The Great Khali
After the match, Batista hits the ring. Batista spears Khali, and the World Heavyweight champ rolls out of the ring.
WHAT YOU THINK
Since they are adding another McMahon next week on Raw, we ask... who is your favourite McMahon?
Vince - 9%
Linda - 4%
Shane - 22%
Stephanie - 21%
I like more than one - 2%
I can't stand any of them - 28%
Can I vote for Jess or Vince Sr.? - 14%
Now the moment you've all been waiting for, Who is Vince's son? All the male superstars line the ring as Vince and Coach stand in the middle of the squared circle. Mr. Johnson appears on the Titantron and has more clues. First, Vince's son is not extreme. All the ECW wrestlers file to the back.
The next clue says Vince's son has a fondness for gold. This eliminated anyone who is not or never was a champion.
Vince's son is also of fair skin and hair. Vince seems excited that his son is white, but then tones it down a bit. There are only three men left in the ring. JBL, Sandman, and Triple H. The last clue is Vince's son loves to play the game. JBL and Sandman leave. Vince isn't happy, and neither is Triple H. The lawyer goes on to say the game could be hide and seek, or marbles, or horseshoes. Triple H isn't Vince's son, and Horsnswoggle, aka Little Bastard, appears from under the ring. Hornswoggle is Vince's son! Triple H can't stop laughing, as Little Bastard dances around the ring. Hornswoggle hugs Vince's leg, as Triple H puts the little green derby hat on Vince's head.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003.