September 8, 2007
WWE wellness policy still ailing
By TIM BAINES - Ottawa Sun
I don't know for sure which WWE wrestlers are pumping steroids into their bodies. And my near-empty cash jar suggests I shouldn't risk any lawsuits by trying to guess. So I'll let WWE's actions do the talking.
According to Sports Illustrated, several wrestlers were found in violation of WWE's wellness policy: Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Brian Adams (all dead); Sylvain Grenier, Chavo Guerrero, Shane Helms, Randy Orton, John Hennigan (John Morrison), Ken Anderson (Mr. Kennedy), Shoichi Funaki (geez, if you're going to take the stuff, you should look like you're doing it), Charlie Haas, Edward Fatu (Umaga), Darren Matthews (William Regal) and Adam Copeland (Edge).
I'll give some of these guys the benefit of the doubt (especially since Edge is one of my favourites), but it's likely no coincidence Umaga lost his Intercontinental title to Jeff Hardy, Morrison lost his ECW heavyweight strap to CM Punk and John Cena kicked the crap out of Regal -- all within the week. Yep, there were a pile of suspensions and many of these guys will be off TV for a while.
WWE has tightened its wellness policy, but it seems at least a few more wrestlers should be on the hit list. Let's see ... out-of-proportion body, acne flare-up on the back ... hmmm, brings to mind a couple. It's time wrestling cleaned up its act. Or will it take a few more deaths to eliminate the juicers?
SON ALSO RISES: Who is Vince McMahon's illegitimate son? We'll find out on Monday Night RAW. An attorney for the mother of the child offered us this clue: "Things are looking up." We do know that the son is not Mr. Kennedy.
AROUND THE RING: First it was Eugene. Then it was Cryme Tyme, released by WWE. The Eugene character grew tired quick, but I was starting to "get" the Cryme Tyme schtick ... Santino Marella is doing a good job in his new push as a heel. It's so good I'd like to reach through my TV set and punch the livin' bejeezus out of the guy. I'd also like to take a poke at the too-smug Orton ... The best tag team in wrestling is Triple H and his sledgehammer .... Ric Flair wants to be The Man again. At least he doesn't want to be an afterthought. Reports say The Nature Boy gave WWE his notice a few weeks ago. Flair wants a more relevant role with the company and WWE apparently has offered him a major storyline.