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ECW: Punk gets his 15 minutes
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling


If CM Punk can defeat ECW champion John Morrison or last 15 minutes in the ring with him tonight, they'll go one more time for the title. So what happens? It's anyone's guess, but then again, who would have ever thought Umaga would be getting cheers from the crowd these days?

Last week's Triple Threat Match with Punk, Tommy Dreamer and Elijah Burke is recapped.

Live from Youngstown, OH, we get right to the action.

Match # 1 - The Boogeyman vs. Jesse Guilmette

Squash City. Boogey, now with a long black wig, takes out the jobber in about 90 seconds.

Winner via pinfall: The Boogeyman

Matt Striker comes down and distracts Boogey and Big Daddy V jumps Boogey and beats him down. Yawn. I would care not to see this Abdullah The Butcher impersonator, and a bad one at that. Viscera and Teach celebrate in the ring and I go put back the bag of Ruffles I started to chow down on and do a few sets of crunchers.

Match # 2 - Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke

Another example of how thin the ECW roster is. We've seen this match dozens of times and to be honest, I am VERY bored. The crowd is extremely dead tonight. I would to if I had to sit through the same matches week after week.

Burke finally gets a win. He snaps Dreamer off the top rope and attacks with the Elijah Express in the corner.

Winner via pinfall: Elijah Burke

Jim, er, John Morrison cuts a horrific promo in the back, basically saying nothing. I think he hypes his match with Punk later on. I think. The guy acts like he would be better off performing at Woodstock circa 1969.

Match # 3 - The Miz w/ Extreme Exposé vs. Balls Mahoney

AGAIN? Geez, get some more guys on the ECW roster! Or, get rid of The Miz. Or, heck, both. Mahoney ends up on the floor and gets a nice peek up Kelly Kelly's skirt. Miz needs to hit the weights as he couldn't even lift Balls for a bodyslam, but does connect on the Reality Check as his push continues. Why? Isn't Gillberg available some place?

Winner via pinfall: The Miz

Kelly Kelly looks concerned for Mahoney's well-being as the gals split with Miz. Why does she have eyes for the ugly dudes (Mike Knox, now Balls Mahoney?)

Punk is backstage and cuts the same old promo we always hear from him. He promises he'll beat Morrison. Blah, blah, blah.

The Raw Rebound recaps Vince McMahon's "return" last night. I missed it. I was having a life.

Stevie Richards' two wins over Kevin Thorn the past two weeks are shown. Richards then starts to talk in the back to Tazz and Joey Styles, but gets attacked by Thorn. Another overused tactic. Come on, ECW, keep me awake this week!

Match # 4 - 15 Minutes of Fame - CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Morrison has new entrance music and it makes me want to roll a fatty and tell my wife that she is "far out, man."

The crowd is alive for this match and solidly behind Punk. Some good actual wrestling starts the match, along with a couple near-falls and restholds. Tazz and Joey constantly make mention of the clock. It's on the screen, guys, so even the most illiterate viewers can learn to count backwards.

Punk's kicks nearly give him a pin at the five-minute mark and Tazz lets us know that the clock is ticking down. With nine minutes to go, and then eight, Joey thinks Morrison is getting concerned. Morrison lands on the floor and, you know the routine. A guy hits the floor = commercial break.

More near-falls for Punk after the break and we have four minutes left. The champ misses a corkscrew moonsault and Joey notes we have almost three minutes to go. Punk lands more kicks and is on the offensive, almost pinning Morrison after a springboard clothesline. With under 90 seconds left, Punk gets a two-count after a sunset flip off the second rope.

Punk counters the corkscrew neckbreaker with Go To Sleep, looks at the clock and sees he has 10 seconds to go, covers and gets the win with five seconds to spare.

Winner via pinfall: CM Punk

Tazz says Punk is going to SummerSlam for an ECW title match with Morrison. Really? When was that decided? Joey chimes in on the new match (apparently) for Aug. 26 and we are at the end of the show. Thankfully.

The main event saved the show this week and that doesn't say much. ECW needs a roster overhaul and Boogeyman and fake Abdullah The Butcher are not the answer. I don't know what is, so email me with your suggestions.

'Til next week...


MACKER'S MAILBAG

I thought I saw wrestling on EC-Dub (last) Tuesday night! The three-way dance with Dreamer, Punk and Burke actually rocked. The rest of the show kind of blew, but that match was good. They still need to get rid of Miz and the bimbos and Bra Guy though.

--Darryl Wood, Waterford, Mich.


Welcome aboard the ECW bandwagon, my friend. It's a beautiful place.

--Matt Bishop, Woodhaven, Mich.




Have a beef, comment, question about ECW? Email Matt at mackindermedia@yahoo.com and your comments will be posted in Macker's Mailbag each week. Please include your name (or initials) and hometown. Submissions may be edited for grammar, spelling and punctuation, but not for content. Also be sure to listen to Matt on the Lights Out Radio podcast every Thursday.