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COMMENT





Raw: Carlito back in the picture
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


Randy Orton was named the number one contender after a sneak attack on champion John Cena. How will the WWE champion respond from Tucson, Arizona?

We donít have to wait long to find out as the champ hits the ring. Cena says Orton has followed the playbook by making a statement with an RKO. The champ is then interrupted by Carlito, who congratulates the champ on being the first guest on the new and improved "Carlitoís Cabana."

Stagehands quickly dress the ring with beach props, and Carlito has an important question. He asks Cena what it is like to be a liar. Carlito reminds the champ that he doesnít win every championship match, because he beat Cena for the U.S. title. Cena brings up that was three or four years ago, and then cracks jokes. Carlito says he should be the number one contender, prompting Kennedy to make an appearance.

Kennedy says this is his ring, and he should be the number one contender. He plays the underappreciated card. Carlito and Kennedy argue, while Cena calls for Orton. Cena says Orton earned his spot; he then tells Kennedy to face Lashley. Cena turns to Carlito, asking what he has done since beating him. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Tonight, Carlito will main event and face Cena.

Match #1 -- Beth Phoenix, Melina and Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James, Candice Michelle and Maria w/ Santino Marella

For the second week in a row the first match of the night feature the divas, if anyone cares.

JR is having trouble telling Jillian Hall and Beth Phoenix apart. Just remember the Jillian is the blonde with big boobs that canít wrestle and Beth Phoenix is the blonde with big boobs that canít ... um ... nevermind. Melina gets the pin after Maria is double teamed.

Winner by pinfall: Beth Phoenix, Melina and Jillian Hall

After the break, Santino is still in the ring and he is appalled by the cheating that goes on in WWE. Santino blames the ref and continues to dress him down, when Umaga hits the ring. Santino says he wants nothing to do with Umaga. The ref asks for the mike, and says ring the bell.

Match #2 -- Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Umaga dominates Santino knocking him into the corner. Umaga hits the whiplash and then a massive sidewalk slam.

Winner via pinfall: Umaga

Todd Grisham tries to interview King Booker. Book pretty much says heís going to take out Jerry Lawler, and he hopes Triple H is watching. In short, Booker says he is the true king.

Cody Rhodes meets with Jonathan Coachman is his office. Coach tells Cody he canít lay a finger on Orton; Coach also says he wonít have a career if he canít win. Coach says he has to win to stay on RAW.

Grisham interviews Orton, who says at Summerslam he wonít face a legend, instead he is facing the champ. Sergeant Slaughter interrupts and wants a piece that maggot Orton.

Davari is back and heís in the ring spouting Arabic.

Match #3 -- Davari vs. Cody Rhodes

Davari and Rhodes trade punches. Cody hits a back body drop, but Davari fights back with a neck breaker. Rhodes hits cross body, but only gets a two count. Rhodes hits a bulldog, but then runs into a back elbow. Cody recovers and hits a DDT. Rhodes covers and hooks the leg.

Winner via pinfall: Cody Rhodes

Match #4 -- Ken Kennedy vs. Lashley

Kennedy isnít happy as Lashleyís music cuts him off. Lashley with a waist lock take down to start, and Kennedy grabs the ropes. Lashley gets Ken in a torture rack, but Kennedy fights out. Lashley looks for a spear, but Kennedy rolls out of the ring. Ken drives Lashley into the ring steps, and Kennedy gives him a boot to the shoulder for good measure. Lashley beats the ten count into the ring. Kennedy climbs the turnbuckle, but Lashley cuts him off. Kennedy drops Lashleyís arm on the ropes, possibly injuring the arm. Lashley fights back by hitting a back body drop, and looks for a spear. Kennedy blocks the spear by getting a knee up into Lahleyís injured shoulder, and then pins Lashley.

Winner via pinfall: Ken Kennedy

Another Snitsky promo. YAWWWNNNNNN

Match #5 -- King Booker w/ Sharmell vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler and Booker face off in the middle of the ring. Booker tries to play some head games. King blocks a punch, and fights Booker into the corner. King ducks a kick, and knocks Booker into the corner. King dodges an axe kick, and fight back with punches. Lawler drops on elbow, and thinks he gets the pin, but Booker has a foot on the rope. Booker ducks a clothesline and kicks Lawler in the face. Booker punches Lawler in the corner, ignoring the referee. Booker continues his assault and the ref calls for the bell. Lawler wins the match by disqualification.

Winner via DQ: Jerry Lawler

After the match, Lawler chases after Booker, beating him on the ramp. The ref separates the two men, as Sharmell checks on her man.

Match #6 -- Cryme Tyme vs. two jobbers

Cryme Tyme wins in a squash, and so much for a name change. After the match, JTG gets on the mike. Shad says they like to make that money, money, yea, yea. They strip off the jobber's boots and auction them off to the crowd. Shad wants ten grand, but they canít find any buyers. The price keeps dropping but the skit drags on. Shad signs the boots. Oh, I liked this skit the first time I saw it on In Living Color. Some sucker in the crowd buys the boots for forty bucks.

Winner via pinfall: Cryme Tyme

Match #7 -- Randy Orton vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Orton takes it Slaughter beating him into the corner. Orton then takes out the legs of Slaughter. Orton slaps on reverse chin lock. Slaughter fights out of the hold, but Orton clubs him over the back. Slaughter ducks a punch and locks in a cobra clutch. Orton finally gets to the ropes, and then Orton hits a cheap shot. Orton follows with an RKO and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton

After the match, Orton kicks Slaughter in the head. The refs get Orton to leave as the paramedic rolls a gurney to the ring.

Orton stays at ringside for the main event.

Match #8 -- John Cena vs. Carlito

Cena stares Carlito into the corner. Cena slaps on a head lock and gives Carlito a noogie. A drop toe hold sends Carlito to the mat, but canít lock in an STF-U. Cena whips Carlito into the turnbuckle and hits a bull dog. Cena catches Carlito with a side slam. The champ misses a corner charge, allowing Carlito to hit a neck breaker. Carlito slaps on a chin lock. Cena fights his way out, hitting the throwback. Orton jumps on the apron, distracting Cena. Carlito is able to hit the backcracker and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Carlito

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale isnít sure a Bionic Man angle is the best route to go. Discuss with Dale at DPlummer627@yahoo.com.