June 24, 2007
Readers chime in on McMahon's return - Part 2
By SLAM! Wrestling Readers
Last week, SLAM! Wrestling asked its readers to send in your thoughts on how Vince McMahon will make his return to the WWE. We posted the first dozen responses we received and, due to a huge overflow of emails, we decided to post the rest today.
Well I also think this entire storyline was done in poor taste, and like most of the good people at SLAM! said, it devalues things such as the 10-bell salute and lowering flags at half mast.
If I had to bring back Vinnie Mac, I guess there are a few ways it can be done:
1) After three weeks of investigations (let’s not make this long and drawn out) the killers are revealed to be The Invaders! (or the Villanos, not really sure). They make a video claiming responsibility of Vince’s death and say they did it in the name of all wrestlers that are not 6-foot-5 and over 275 pounds. Hey, the storyline is tasteless so why not keep it that way? I guess they can then give Invader III or Villano III a shot at one of the world titles to keep them in the main event. I would say stick this in the Great American Bash. In terms of getting Vince back to life, WWE should get the entire cast of Pirates of the Caribbean and get them to go back to Davy Jones’ locker and bring the evil WWE chairman back. This could be done and reveal him as alive at SummerSlam (they wanted celebs for this PPV event, why not use them?).
2) I guess WWE's only viable (if there is such a thing) notion of brining Vince back is to get The Undertaker to bring him back to life. But instead of some cooky and weird ceremony. I say just one day out of the blue, just have Vince walk down to the ring with some druids and just stand there. Then let the lights dim and have Undertaker say some wacky speech about life and a second chance to do good. Then have Vince be a face for two months and let Coach give him a copy of the Vince McMahon DVD and boom he is evil again.
The obvious ending is that Vince staged his own death because someone was trying to get him and this was the only way to survive. A brutal storyline either way. I long for the glory days in the 80's when a storyline went on the months, if not years, and a referee's count actually meant something. How about being disqualified for using a foreign object? It used to be treated like a sport, now we can get all the smack and actual sport from UFC. Who needs wrestling?
How about this one? Mae Young is so distraught over the death of the Genetic Jackhammer that she undergoes a highly secret government embryo transplantation and Vince will be reborn via the stem cells from the baby. Then HHH and Steph can take the baby on the road with them and claim he is heir to the McMahon fortune. Then Shane can kidnap the baby and hide him in the forest and the baby dies. Like McMahon is not a tactless individual for offending Muslims, African-Americans, handicapped, pregnant woman with miscarriages (a known laugh getter) and everyone within a 30 mile radius of the swill he has turned wrestling into since the golden age. Need to put a bullet in this show once and for all stop all the T & A (nothing wrong when it is mixed in), same matches for four weeks straight and better stories.
This just in – Test has been resigned again. Maybe he did it.
I can’t really argue with any of the possible angles they are giving. You’ve got some really intelligent readers that could write some serious, and a lot better, storylines for the WWE. I still think there’s more to this than the ground level. He’s got a plan. I know he’s using this to get the ratings up, but, if and when it unravels, the ratings will plummet. Just a PWT (poor white trash) in the heartland. That’s me.
Between now and SummerSlam, a number of very mysterious occurrences happen on all three shows (Raw, SmackDown, ECW), but nobody can explain them other than “It must be a ghost.” Yup, we all conclude it must be Vince’s ghost. Then, on the last Raw before SummerSlam, the ghostly happenings are occurring so many times that we just can’t help but to come to the conclusion that something big is going to happen at the end of the show. And something does. During the main event between Cena, a tag partner, and whoever makes up the feuding team, the lights all go out. The action stops. And then on the big Raw screen is a picture of Vince. We sit through yet another recap of the limo, in addition to many of the mysterious back-stage activities that we still cannot explain. And then we heard an evil laugh! The lights go on, and it’s Donald Trump and Bobby Lashley in the middle of the ring. Lashley cleans house of the four beaten down combatants in the ring, leaving the squared circle for Donald to explain how he orchestrated the limo explosion, the ghostly events, and then why he knocked off Vinny Mac – money, greed, jealousy, etc. However, just as he’s finishing up, the lights go out yet again. Ten seconds of spooky silence follows. And then BOOM! Fireworks go off, and at the top of the ramp is Vince McMahon and Triple H (w/sledgie).
“You can’t kill me!” yells Vince, and the two hit the ring as Trump and Lashley clear out, leading to a casket match, where Vince buries Donald as he has done to other wrestling companies (Turner, WCW, ECW).
Seems pretty fitting of his ego. It would not excuse the despicable 10-bell salute, but still I guess in the world of sports entertainment be kind cool. Well, except for having to watch Donald Trump (with Lashley) try to wrestle. Who knows, if Vince and HHH become the babyface team, that could establish Lashley as a heel.
Juan Carlos Nuñez
Actually, I believe that Vince will be haunting as a ghost, but then it will be clear up that he faked his death in order to get a wrestler in jail or something like that. The explosion was not real and he played death.
The best way for McMahon to return is this:
At a PPV (of course), The Undertaker can bring him back from the dead - turn him heel first of course, then he can pull him from the grave as a secret weapon in a title match.
Vinnie Mac will return at WrestleMania 24. Cena will be defending his WWE title against a a mystery oppenent. In the main event, Cena will enter the ring and psych himself up for what will be the greatest challenge of his career. Then the lights will go dark and stay dark for a full three minutes. Then The Undertaker will make a grand enterance, but wait, there's more.
He will arrive with not one, not two, but three special managers to make sure he takes the WWE title from Cena. He will enter the ring, grab the mic and explain that he has resurected Vinnie Mac as well as Al Wilson and Paul Bearer. Cena will quickly dispatch of zombie Al Wilson and zombie Paul Bearer, but it will be zombie Vinnie Mac that will deal a major blow to Cena, setting the Undertaker up for five consecutive Tombstone piledrivers to secure the WWE title.
After this event, Vinnie Mac will lose 99 percent of his audience who will never watch WWE again.
Honestly, Vince should stay on the shelf. It's not like the WWE could get any worse without him on TV could it?
But I digress.
With the upcoming release of (the next) Harry Potter (movie), the WWE writers could jump on board with this. When they "reveal" the culprit who off'd the evil one, he could start popping up in random places for that person to see, on camera of course. Then at Armageddon, we have The Undertaker return and hold some strange ritual. During this ritual, he draws the blood somehow of the Bomber and with his "magic" reincarnates Vince back to the world of the living. The show would culminate with Vince exacting a small amount of revenge against his killer before the show goes off the air.
I believe that Vince will be coming back at the same time as some of his big-name talents. A good entrance will be when Triple H returns. He will be posing as the ultimate good guy teaming up with Cena and Lashley in a lot of matches until on one pay-per-view event, in a six-man tag team, he will betray the two baby faces and become a mega-heel again. The returning Shawn Michaels will then try to stop his DX cohort again teaming up with Cena and Lashley where he will again betray the baby faces to re-unite with Triple H to re-form DX who will reveal that they have a powerful sponsor. Of course, the sponsor will be Vince who will be billed as the original and ultimate degenerate.
Since the WWE ratings are falling fast, Vince is once again trying to get back to the days of the WWE and WCW feud. I think that Vince is over his head in this one. This should have been a retirement party. VKM has done a lot for his company. Yeah, he has screwed a lot of people in the business, but that is like the real world that we live in. A lot of people have lost their jobs. Look around, you people. Big companys do it everyday.
Mr. McMahon will return this Sunday in a Kane mask or he might return just like he was. You never know. I know he is not dead - he is alive! Because I know all about the McMahon family. I watch wrestling all my life since I was three years old and I am 27 years old right now and I know he is really alive. That's my bottom line 'cause Brian Carter says so! Raw and SmackDown and ECW need new GM's after Mr. McMahon returns this Sunday.
P.S. I know who done it. It might be Coach or Steve-O or himself.
--compiled by Matt Mackinder