June 21, 2007
Readers chime in on McMahon's return - Part 1
By SLAM! Wrestling Readers
This past week, SLAM! Wrestling's staff offered up their thoughts on how and when Vince McMahon will show his mug on WWE TV again.
We asked our readers to give us their thoughts and we received an overwhelming response. The following is what you had to say. This is not all of them, as we had to divide the responses up, but we will run the second half next week. Thanks to everyone who submitted an idea.
Seeing as how the WWE is the ultimate male soap opera (they even hire soap writers), Vince's return will look like this: We all saw a Mr. McMahon get into the limo, however, it was not Vincent Kennedy McMahon, but rather Victor Kenneth McMahon, his evil twin. The real Vince disappeared after such embarrassments as the Ultimate Warrior, the XFL and rehiring of Hulk Hogan (twice no less). Fake Vince actually got out of the limo on the other side and made the death look legit. At SummerSlam, in the spirit of rehashing storylines, the real Vince will return with Stephanie, while Shane will find the fake Vince - setting up a Vince vs. Vince match.
I think that Vince planned the explosion himself so he could disappear and watch from a distance as his two children fight over and attempt to run his empire. He'll return with a flourish to berate and belittle Steph and Shane, but ends up rewarding the one he feels has screwed up Least - in this case Stephanie. In other words, I predict that this is the first step in the process of handing over the reigns to Stephanie and Triple H .
Perry Mwangana Mayamba
It’s all absurd - his coming back! Let it remain in the minds of fans that he is permanently dead and will have nothing to do with WWE ever again.
Ralph Leon Mangrum
I would like to say this: Who in their right mind would begin to believe that VKM is dead?
We have had the evil Mr. McMahon character for 10 years (since the Montreal screw job). They ought to say that what died in the limo was Mr. McMahon, not Vince McMahon. Vince would, except for the odd interview or play-by-play, come off of WWE TV or appear only sporadically like Jack Tunney used to and represent management on screen.
I must add that this angle did not offend me until the 10-bell salute. It cheapened forever the class they had showed their fallen superstars.
I kinda think the Undertaker will be involved in the return of Vince. Vince has kinda painted himself in the corner on this one.
However I would not mind if he didn't come back. He has destroyed wrestling as we knew it. I do not find any of the shows that WWE is affiliated with to be interesting because of all of the diversions between and during matches. It even shows in the slack matches as most of them only last a couple of minutes then there is advertising commercials during the matches, where if they left out all the BS we might actually get to watch a complete match. I don't count on it though.
You see it all goes back to Vince's being so upset that he lost his "coveted" ECW championship forcing him to abandon his do-rag for all time. At a loss for something to reclaim his lost glory he decides he must relive the greatest match of his career. That's right - Vince must take on God once more. However, as it was proven clearly that God lacked the testicular fortitude to show up in Vince's arena, Vince decided he had to go up to heaven and take on God on God's turf. But how to do that? AHA! If he blew himself up that would be a step in the right direction showing that Vince will go to any limits to get a match done. Limo goes boom.
Of course, this meant Vince had to make a deal with the devil to sign the match but hey, the devil always loves a chance to poke a hole in God's smug superiority right? So he sends Vince to Heaven for the clash of eternity. The stipulation being that if Vince wins he gets returned to earth in human form so he can brag about his victory. If Vince lost then he would be locked away for all eternity to battle Owen Hart, Eddie Guerrero and all the other former WWE superstars that passed away over the time of Vince's run in WWE for their rightful vengeance.
The match takes place and after God is distracted by a satanic chair shot, Vince delivers the McMahon Stunner and the Billionaire's Elbow to get the pin. He returns to life at SummerSlam since God keeps his word, just in time to book Umaga, Khali, Snitsky, Abyss (rented because Cena hadn't beaten him yet), Kane and Mark Henry in a 6-on-1 handicap match against John Cena for the title so Cena can beat every monster in the company at the same time to keep his title in the 1000th straight "almost impossible for the champ to keep his title" title match victory.
I'm an old timer. When I was going to Big Time Wrestling at Cobo Arena, we never saw the promoters. Their egos weren't that inflated that they had to be a part of the show. WWE would go on just fine if we never saw any of the McMahon's. Let the wrestlers tell the stories like they did in the old days.
That really says how I feel.
I was personally thinking about Vince taking a cue from Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer.
Here's how it would work...sometime or another, whether it's at Vengeance or next week's three-hour Raw, they're going to have a "funeral" or "memorial service" for "Mr. McMahon.” Lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth. A huge memorial picture of McMahon is set up atop the entrance ramp. Oh, and did we mention that Ted DiBiase returns for one night to officiate the funeral, aided and abetted by Brother Love?
Just as the eulogy is reaching its climax, a thump is heard at the Gorilla Position and the camera turns to see Vince doing a "Shockmaster" through his memorial picture.
Now since there's "no chance in Hell" for Vince to redeem himself after this, he comes up with some long-winded tale about how he cooked the whole thing up because the WWE didn't appreciate him, and there'll be hell to pay for each and everyone in the WWE.
Vinnie's really getting wound up now, announcing that next week will be another three-hour RAW, with the broadcast being devoted to inducting every WWE employee into the "Kiss My Ass" Club, when suddenly his eyes roll up and he falls over. Behind him we see an EMT with a syringe and Linda, Shane and Steph instructing him to send Vince on an all-expense paid permanent vacation at a convalescent home. Linda finishes up with "And you don't know HOW long I've wanted to say this, but Vince honey...
Anyway, that's how I'd book it.
Pretty big WWE fan, but I would never think of writing in. However, I think this whole 'dead' angle can and should become the next 'attitude' era-type ratings juggernaut. How can this be accomplished? Muhammad Hassan was the car bomber. He could be the top heel for the next two years.
I understand the networks had issues with the character, but I bet ratings will outweigh issues, especially after a 'death' angle.
Vince is dead! Yeah, right. Well, he had better enjoy the fact that this time he can have it written like he wants it. He can have the script bring him back any way he pleases. But how stupid does he think the wrestling fans are? Everyone knows this is all a big WWE drama. But Vince, don't you think you may be tempting the hands of fate? Think about the next time, the real one, the real boom. How many will know the whole story? How many will care? You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool with the Real Power that is over us all.
In my view, I think they will have Mr.M come back this Sunday at Vengeance when the FBI agent says the culprit. That sucks though.
Watch for Part 2 of this feature next week.
--compiled by Matt Mackinder