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ECW: Lashley again faces the odds
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling


Vince McMahon lost the ECW World Title Sunday night. That much we know. So where does that leave the ex-champ and the new champ, Bobby Lashley, tonight on ECW?

The Major Brothers are on the card, along with Matt Striker, so I think it's safe to say this show, from Orlando, will be an edition of Tuesday Night Velocity.

We start out with, what else, a recap of the One Night Stand Street Fight where Lashley regained the ECW title from Vince. Live in the arena, Vince is on a platform to the left of the aisle in a rocking chair staring at nothing. Um, OK. Any way to keep himself on TV I suppose.

Tony Chimel (no Justin Roberts this week) introduces Lashley and apparently McMahon made a match earlier today on WWE.com involving Lashley.

Match # 1 - Handicap Hardcore Match - Bobby Lashley vs. Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman & Balls Mahoney

What sense does this match make? And what's the difference between a Hardcore Match and Extreme Rules?

The crowd is pretty dead and confused, but good to see Balls with the Originals. Dreamer pulls another shot at the Dudley Boyz by telling Sandman to "Get the Tables!" Sandman props one in the corner, but Lashley rallies with his Hulk Hogan impersonation. Balls inadvertantly nails Dreamer with a chair, Lashley picks up Sandman and drives him into the table and then turns to drill Mahoney with a spear to get the win.

Winner via pinfall: Bobby Lashley

The champ goes up on the platform and poses with the belt in front of Vince, who keeps staring at nothing, but keeps rocking. Joey Styles says Lashley has guts. If that's what the script says, I guess he has to say it.

Match # 2 - Stevie Richards vs. Kevin Thorn

It's Richards (now a face?) early, Thorn for a stretch in the middle until Stevie counters the Original Sin. Richards goes up top, gets crotched and Thorn hits the Sin for the easy three. The first Sin attempt may have been botched, but Stevie made it look like it was supposed to happen.

Winner via pinfall: Kevin Thorn

I went to make a sandwich and missed three horrible dancing girls. But if anyone cares, the song of choice was Ay Chico by Pitbull. Joey Styles adds that with the draft upcoming, this trio may be split up. Joey, if we could be so lucky.

Randy Orton injuring Rob Van Dam at One Night Stand is recapped and Joey and Tazz make it sound as though RVD is dead. They wish him the best. Pretty ironic that tonight's show is in TNA land, too.

Match # 3 - The Major Brothers vs. Elijah Burke & Marcus Cor Von

Brett and Brian remind me of an early version of The (Midnight) Rockers. Don't they? The crowd gets a "Boring" chant going, but for once, I disagree. Yeah, I know. The ref in this match is making himself the main attraction by yelling SUPER loud at the wrestlers and being very aggressive when it comes to getting guys out of the ring before a five count. Brett is isolated much of the match, until Burke knees him into the corner and Brian gets the hot tag. Brian is on a roll when the Alpha Male gets a blind tag and Pounces Brian for the three. As he made the cover, Burke jumps over the pin and dropkicks Brett on the floor.

Winners via pinfall: Elijah Burke & Marcus Cor Von

In the aisle, Burke whines that he lost one of his hair beads.

Match # 4 - CM Punk vs. Matt Striker

Striker comes out with a mic and cuts his typical "I'm better than you and tonight I'll be your teacher" schtick. Crowd couldn't care less.

An OK match that goes back and forth for a bit. Striker seems intent on using a Boston Crab the entire match. He almost gets Punk to give it up via a single-leg crab, but of course, Punk reaches the ropes. Punk rallies, calls for the Go To Sleep, hits it, and gets the duke. It's funny, as Punk is celebrating in the ring, you can see plenty of people heading for the exits.

Winner via pinfall: CM Punk

OK, so maybe not totally Tuesday Night Velocity (the Majors-New Breed Match was actually decent), but any show with Matt Striker in the main event can't be taken seriously.

Until next week...



Hey, whaddya know? No Snitsky for two straight weeks! Have a beef, comment, question about ECW? Email Matt at mackindermedia@yahoo.com and your questions with Matt's replies will be posted in Macker's Mailbag each week..