May 30, 2007
ECW: Dreamer challenges Orton
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
There are only two good things about tonight's ECW show. First, it's live from the John Labatt Centre in London, Ont. Secondly, CM Punk and Elijah Burke go one-on-one. What else is in store, besides Vince McMahon? Sadly, not much.
Randy Orton kicks off the show bragging about what he did to Rob Van Dam last night on Raw. Cue the recap. Tazz says RVD isn't cleared to compete tonight, but will be Sunday. Tommy Dreamer comes out and challenges the Legend Killer to a match tonight. Orton says he'll kill the legend of ECW. Basically, Dreamer should do the job later on, right?
Match # 1 – No Disqualification Match - CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke
What's the difference between Extreme Rules and No DQ? Lots of technical and mat wrestling early on, and that's a good thing. Burke goes to the floor to get a chair, but Punk kicks it into his gut as we go to a commercial. Back from break, a table is in the ring and Burke props it in the corner as he targets Punk's ribs. Punk BADLY botches a springboard from the outside in and the crowd comes alive with the "You F'd Up" chants. I've never seen Punk do that before. Tazz says the ropes are sweaty. I dig the sign in the third row asking where the TV title is. Punk tries to finish Burke with Go To Sleep only to have Marcus Cor Von interfere. Punk skulls MCV with a chair and goes for GTS again after having Burke counter Punk's attempt at the Elijah Express. Burke rakes his eyes and Punk takes a Pounce through the table from the Alpha Male. Three slaps of the mat later and it's over.
Winner via pinfall: Elijah Burke
Vince and Bobby Lashley have a one-on-one conversation with Vince at the "WWE Studios" and Lashley in London (I assume). Nothing special here. Just Vince getting face time and Lashley saying he'll get his belt back Sunday. They end the segment after McMahon calls Sunday's show "Last Night Stand," but the cameras stay on each guy and they stare into the camera wondering when the red light will go off.
Dancing girls means it's time to poop. They bore the crowd with Maneater by Nelly Furtado this week. Joey Styles adds they will be at Saturday Night's Main Event and I go get a noose. Tazz hopes none of them get drafted to another brand in two weeks. I wish they'd get drafted off of TV.
Match # 2 – Balls Mahoney vs. Kevin Thorn
Balls gets squashed. Sad. The vampire wins after a spinebuster and the Original Sin.
Winner via pinfall: Kevin Thorn
Matt Striker is backstage with the Major Brothers and they all brag about victories over the other. Teach challenges Brian to a match next week. What? There are actually tag teams in ECW? Since when?
Match # 3 – Tommy Dreamer vs. Randy Orton
Why have a draft if TV shows are inter-branded anyway? Orton on ECW is like seeing Edge on SmackDown. Oh wait...
Orton starts the match with his usual array of headlocks and chinlocks. Dreamer rallies with a superplex, bulldog, spinebuster and the dropkick to Orton while in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer nails an inverted DDT and sets up for his patented DDT. Orton slips out the back door and drills Dreamer with the RKO for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton
Orton hits a second RKO after the bell and lines up Dreamer for the punt. He either misses on purpose or on accident and the crowd (and Tazz and Styles) is confused. Orton lines Dreamer up again and I think gets him flush.
RVD runs in to help out Dreamer, takes a punch from Orton and gets that eyes-wide-open look again while lying under the ropes. Tazz and Styles sell the injury as Orton walks back up the aisle and the show ends.
Maybe Vince will release himself and move over to TNA. --D.K., St. Thomas, Ontario
Hey D.K., wouldn't that be the day? I fear it's only a matter of time before Vince buys all of pro wrestling, but keeps himself on all his TV shows to keep his ego inflated. --Matt
Have a beef, comment, question about ECW? Email Matt at email@example.com and your questions with Matt's replies will be posted in Macker's Mailbag each week..