Based on what I said last week, if Vince McMahon won the ECW title at Backlash I was to write something decent about the boss. Well, OK. Vince McMahon has done what the ECW Originals said on WWE.com - he has killed the spirit of ECW and destroyed the legacy. I could go on, but first I have to get through this Tuesday night gong show we call ECW. Tonight, I sense it'll be Tuesday Night McMahon.
The Originals are scheduled to confront VKM tonight. You have to schedule a confrontation nowadays?
Live from Birmingham, Alabama, the ex-champ Bobby Lashley jaunts to the ring. He wants a rematch with Vince tonight, but a wheelchair-bound, neck-braced Armando Alejandro Estrada comes out and says that unless provoked, Lashley can't touch Umaga, Vince or Shane McMahon. Lashley realizes AAE's name wasn't on that list, so he wheels him into the ring steps and walks to the back.
The New Breed is backstage and Elijah Burke is steaming. He says CM Punk used them and he demands an apology from Punk. He then eyes Marcus Cor Von, Kevin Thorn and Matt Striker and tells them to follow his lead.
Punk's music hits and he comes to the ring for a match. Burke and his crew come to the top of the aisle and Burke says tonight Punk will fight Thorn, who looks a smidge surprised.
Match # 1 - CM Punk vs. Kevin Thorn w/ Ariel
Thorn missed a couple moves, Punk rebounds with kicks and KOs Thorn with the GTS.
Winner via pinfall: CM Punk
The Originals' rants are shown again and even if they were supposed to be kayfabe, it's hard to tell, especially with Tommy Dreamer near tears.
Good Lord. Extreme Exposé is back. They do what they do to Warrant's Cherry Pie. Good song, bad dancing.
Thorn busts in on his teammates and asks where they were. Burke says Thorn lost and it's his fault. He says anyone can beat Punk, including Ariel. Thorn says there is a lack of communication in the New Breed, so he quits the faction.
The venting by the Originals is again shown. I can't watch this enough.
Snitsky's video montage is played next. Why does this guy get a push? Oh yeah, because he's big and has no talent like The Great Khali and Umaga. That's right.
Match # 2 – Matt Striker & "The Alpha Male" Marcus Cor Von w/ Elijah Burke vs. Brian and Brett Majors
A squash? Nope. The Majors Brothers (from Long Island, anyone know who they are?) move pretty good and have above-average wrestling skills. One of the brothers nearly pins Striker with a sunset flip, but Teach kicks out. Striker then tosses the youngster into the corner, but he jumps on the second buckle and comes off with a cross bodyblock for the three-count and a huge upset.
Winners via pinfall: The Majors Brothers
Burke verbally berates Striker ringside and tells him to walk away with his head down. Striker does.
The Umaga-Rob Van Dam match from last night is shown and then we get ANOTHER preview/trailer for some Survivor-like movie with this bald wrestler with a goatee. I can't place the name, but the movie looks violent. Apparently, it came out last Friday.
The ECW champ with his God-awful doo-rag and new strut makes his way to the ring. News flash, Vince, you have hair again. Lose the rag. He calls out the Originals and dares them to say what they said on WWE.com to his face. RVD, Dreamer, Sabu and The Sandman come out and confront the boss and basically say what they said online. Sabu again says nothing. Vince says one of them will get a title shot against him next week, but that person has to win a Four-Way Dance right now. And oh yeah, it's Extreme Rules because that's Vince's "image."
Match # 3 – Extreme Rules - Tommy Dreamer vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu vs. The Sandman
Ten years ago, this match is pay-per-view quality, but now, well, that's why it's on free TV.
Sabu and RVD hit a legdrop/Rolling Thunder combo on Dreamer, who puts Sandman in the Tree of Woe and blasts him with a dropkick into a chair. Dreamer nails RVD with a piledriver and RVD pops four feet off the mat like in the good ol' days of ECW. RVD nails his skateboard dropkick into a chair on Dreamer in the corner. Sabu brings a table into the ring and puts Sandman on it. He goes up top, but is met by Dreamer, who superplexes Sabu through Sandman and the wood. RVD takes advantage and lands his Five-Star Frog Splash on Sandman for the fall.
Winner via pinfall: Rob Van Dam
RVD confronts Vince at ringside and makes mention of next week. Wow, RVD getting another huge push, eh? Guess McMahon doesn't want Van Dam heading to Orlando...
Matt Mackinder wants to know if there are any real ECW fans left. Email Matt at email@example.com.