April 25, 2007
ECW: Which side is Punk on?
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
From Italy last week and now on to the United Kingdom this week, ECW is going global. A far cry from the ECW Arena back in the day, but I'll save those rants for another day.
Last week's recap of CM Punk costing Elijah Burke his match with Rob Van Dam is shown right off the bat. Live, Punk is in the back with The New Breed and gives the typical heel "apology." He then makes sure everyone is on the same page and shakes everyone's hand except for Burke, who looks peeved. Punk leaves, then runs back and tells Burke he was just kidding around.
That was an excellent segue for tonight's main event, a match that should have been at WrestleMania - an eight-man elimination tag match between the New Breed and ECW Originals.
Match # 1 – ECW champion Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada
Another WrestleMania rematch. These WWE writers sure know how to be creative. Lashley backdrops Umaga over the top and Estrada hits the champ from behind with the ECW belt for the cheap disqualification. Vince McMahon rushes down to protect Umaga, while Lashley destroys AAE inside the ring with a spear and then a gorilla press to the floor.
Winner via DQ: Bobby Lashley
Next up is a preview of some movie some guy named Stone Cold Steve Austin is in. Anyone know anything about this? It comes out Friday, but I'm pretty sure I have plans.
The New Breed is backstage. Marcus Cor Von says it was Burke's idea to bring Punk into their stable and Kevin Thorn adds that it was his idea to have Punk throw him the chair last week. Punk then comes in and Burke again looks ticked.
Match # 2 – Balls Mahoney vs. Snitsky
Sad to see that Balls is now a glorified jobber. The big boot from no-talent Snitsky does the deed.
Winner via pinfall: Snitsky
In the back, Punk says tonight's match will change the face of the New Breed. Great. Does that mean Punk bolts?
Match # 3 – Elimination Match - The ECW Originals (Rob Van Dam, Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman & Sabu) vs. The New Breed (Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, Marcus Cor Von & Kevin Thorn w/ Ariel & CM Punk)
Punk thinks he's part of the match, but Burke tells him to have a seat outside the ring.
Sandman is the first one eliminated when he misses the Rolling Rock and gets scooped from behind by Burke, who grabs the jeans for extra leverage. Striker gets sent to the showers next courtesy of an RVD split-legged moonsault. Sabu takes the Pounce (yes, they finally said it on TV) from Cor Von, who then gets booted for crotching Dreamer on the ringside barrier. How freaking cheap is that? Dreamer takes out Thorn after a DDT out of nowhere, but after the pin gets absolutely creamed by Burke's Elijah Express in the corner.
The two leaders are left. RVD kicks Burke to the floor and Punk stands up and clobbers Burke (yes, Burke) with a kick to the head from behind. Not sure if RVD saw it, but he goes out, throws Burke back in and hits the Five-Star Frog Splash for the three count.
Winner via pinfall: Rob Van Dam and The ECW Originals
Punk enters the ring, sarcastically tells the KO'd Burke that he's sorry with the camera pretty much in his face. He picks up Burke and nails him with Go To Sleep. Huh? The crowd is kind of blah, but Punk walks back to the dressing room with a smirk and points at fans smiling. So what gives? What is going on? Send your ideas to me. I'm sure they're better than the crap the WWE writers have been coming up with.
Like last week, Matt Mackinder hoped to file this report on location. Still no such luck, though no dancing ladies made Matt again a very happy man. Perhaps WWE creative does read this report after all. Email Matt at firstname.lastname@example.org.