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Raw: Michaels-Cena a jolly good main event
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


The WWE European tour continues in London, England, and you know what that means. RAW is going to be taped, John Cena will be booed, and I can't use words like "bloody" or "shag."

Shane-O-Mac kicks off the show, looking like he's ready for a fight. Shane tells the crowd that Bobby Lashley certainly won't be here tonight, and a recap of last week runs. In honor of St. George's Day in the UK, Shane is offering a chance for a fan to slay a "dragon"; that "dragon" is Shane.

Shane makes the match a "No DQ" match, and he scans the crowd for the plant. Shane tries to call out the head coach of the Chelsea soccer team. Shane doesn't pick anyone from the crowd, instead he brings out a man he calls the greatest wrestler in England. It's Liverpool's own Robbie Brookside. (WHO???????)

Match #1 -- Shane McMahon vs. Robbie Brookside -- No Disqualification Match

Shane starts off with a side headlock, and follows with a waist lock, showing off his amateur wrestling skills. Shane kicks Brookside in the ribs, and then pummels him in the corner. Robbie drops to the mat, and Shane grabs a trashcan from under the ring. Shane sets up for the Van Terminator, and he (wait for it, wait for it) NAILS IT!

Shane grabs a mike, and announces this is also a handicap match. Shane's brings out his partner, Umaga. The Samoan Bulldozer beats on the defenseless Brookside, and then slams him into the corner with a running charge. Umaga climbs the top turnbuckle and hits a splash. Shane then announces it's now a three on one match. Vince McMahon comes down and gets the pin.

Winner: Shane McMahon, Vince McMahon, and Umaga

Match #2 -- Matt Hardy w/ Jeff vs. Trevor Murdoch w/ Lance Cade

Murdoch forces Hardy into the corner, and then slaps on a side head lock. Matt breaks free, and slams Murdoch to the mat. Hardy counters a charge with an elbow, but is pulled off the middle rope by Murdoch. Hardy fights out of a sleeper, but runs into a back elbow. Murdoch misses a flying elbow, and Hardy respond with a clothesline into the corner, followed by a bulldog. Matt hits a side effect, but cannot get the pin. Hardy hits a guillotine leg drop, and looks for a Twist of Fate. Cade jumps on the apron, distracting Hardy long enough for Murdoch to slam Matt into the ring post. Murdoch hits a sit-down powerbomb, and gets the three-count.

Winner via pinfall: Trevor Murdoch

The Condemned opens this Friday. Why doesn't somebody tell us these things? I've haven't heard a thing about this.

Match #3 -- Melina vs. Maria

(One question? Who has Victoria upset? She can actually wrestle, but never in action.)

Melina hits a modified face buster, and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Melina

Carlito is getting ready for his match. Ric Flair says let's go, and Carlito say tonight it's not let's, and walks off.

Match #4 -- Carlito vs. The Great Khali

Carlito throws everything he has at Khali, before running into a shoulder block. Carlito tries to kick at Khali's legs, but Khali shrugs him off and lays him out with a right hand. Carlito rakes the eyes, and climbs the turnbuckle. Khali swats Carlito out of the air, and chops Carlito to the mat. A double-handed choke slam finishes off Carlito.

Winner via pinfall: The Great Khali

After the match, Flair comes down to check on his boy, but Carlito yells at him in Spanish, refusing any help.

Mick Foley is in the interview area. He starts off with a patented cheap pop. Edge walks up, and the two are all buddy-buddy. Edge wants to thanks Mick for bring Michael Pena to RAW and making the main event a fatal four-way. But before Edge takes out Orton, tonight, he's going to watch Cena and HBK destroy each other.

Shawn Michaels is walking through the back when he runs into John Cena. The champ says Michaels may have everyone's respect, but he still doesn't have the title.

Match #5 -- John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels pounds away at Cena's shoulder, and takes him down with a fireman's carry. HBK takes down the champ with a side head lock, but Cena counters to get free. Cena takes HBK down with a drop toe hold. Both men size each other up, and then lock up. Cena reverses a waist lock, and takes HBK down. Cena and HBK jaw with each other. Michaels slaps Cena, and the champ retaliates with a fist.

Cena takes Shawn down with a side head lock. The champ keeps the head lock applied, nearly scoring a pin. HBK gets back to his feet, escaping the head lock, only to run into a shoulder block. Cena goes back to the headlock. HBK breaks free, but Cena blocks a hip lock, and takes Michaels down with a clothesline. HBK shoots the champ off the ropes, and takes him down with a reverse elbow. Shawn slams Cena off the turnbuckle, and chops away at the champ in the corner. Cena gets a foot up to block a charge, and then explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. Cena stops himself from running into a super kick, and tries to drop HBK over the top rope, but Shawn lands on his feet.

After the break, Michaels hits a snap mare takeover. HBK chops away at Cena, but the champ fights his way out of the corner. HBK tries to leap frog Cena, but the champ catches him and slams him to the mat. Cena whips HBK into the corner. Michaels bounces off the turnbuckle, and Cena hits a fisherman's suplex. The champ stalks HBK, and nails the throwback, but can only get a two count. HBK and Cena trade chops, and Cena hits a back body drop after shooting HBK off the ropes. HBK floats over a suplex attempt and counters with a neck breaker. The two men go back to trading blows. HBK hits the flying forearm, and both men are down. HBK kips up and hits an inverted atomic drop, followed by some right hands, and a slam. HBK climbs the turnbuckle, connecting with a flying elbow. HBK looks to warm up the band, but instead HBK goes for a backslide that only gets a two count. HBK ducks a cross body block, and Cena crashes to the floor. HBK goes for a plancha, but the champ catches him, and slams Michaels into the steps.

We come back from break, and HBK slams Cena into the ring post. HBK works over Cena's arm. HBK slaps on a hammerlock. Cena breaks free, and slams Michaels to the mat, but HBK rolls away from an elbow drop. Cena recovers with a big clothesline, and then hits the fiver-knuckle shuffle. HBK slips out of an F-U, and Cena ducks a superkick. Cena hits the F-U, but Michaels kicks out at two.

After another commercial, Cena slams HBK back first into the ring post outside the ring. Back in the ring, Cena hits a vertical suplex, but the champ still can't get a three count. Cena tries to lock in a bear hug. HBK breaks free, and chops Cena into the corner. Cena whips Michaels into the opposite corner, and he crashes over the top turnbuckle to the floor. Cena rolls HBK back in the ring, and hits a guillotine leg drop. HBK kicks out, again. Cena sets HBK on the top turnbuckle. Cena tries for an F-U, but HBK counters into a power bomb from the top. Both men go down, and rise at the count of nine. Cena pulls off another drop-toe hold. HBK knocks Cena off the apron, and the champ slams into the announce table. HBK tries for a piledriver on the ring steps, but Cena counters with a back drop.

After another break, Cena and HBK are fighting on the announce table. Back in the ring, Cena locks in the STF-U. HBK is able to get to the ropes to break the hold. Cena blocks a superkick, and sets up the F-U. Michaels slips off Cena's back, and hits Sweet Chin Music. HBK can't get the immediate pin, and Cena grabs the ropes at two. Cena whips HBK into the corner, and picks him up for the F-U. Michaels escapes, again, and nails Sweet Chin Music. HBK covers for the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Shawn Michaels

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale just wants to know one thing: Does anyone care that Randy Orton is missing? If you've seen him email Dale @ Dplummer627@yahoo.com.