March 21, 2007
ECW: New Breed dominance
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
It's time for another episode of Tuesday Night Velocity and more air time for the ECW Originals to do the job to The New Breed. Wonderful. I'm full of sarcastic excitement. Are you?
Tonight's show from Cleveland starts with a "In Memory of Arnold Skaaland" image. Nice touch. We've been losing a lot of wrestlers lately, haven't we?
Last night's Masterlock Challenge debacle on Raw is recapped where ECW champion Bobby Lashley became the first man in two years to break Chris Masters' full nelson. They meet tonight in the main event. Masters says Lashley broke the Masterlock, so tonight, he'll break Lashley in half. That phrase gets so overused doesn't it?
Match # 1 -- Sabu & Rob Van Dam vs. Marcus Cor Von & Kevin Thorn w/ Ariel
The New Breed has their own entrance music now and Sabu is wearing black boots. Those items come from the Department of Useless Facts. Sabu and RVD start out quickly as Van Dam hits Thorn with several kicks and Sabu lands Air Sabu. A Pier Six develops and with Thorn and RVD on the floor, Cor Von nails Sabu with the Pounce, er, body block and the Alpha Male gets three on Sabu.
Winners via pinfall: Marcus Cor Von & Kevin Thorn
Another video package of Snitsky airs hyping his match next. Sounds like a squash to me.
Match # 2 -- Snitsky vs. Mike Tolar
A big boot 30 seconds in does the trick. Another yawner. The crowd is silent. As am I.
Winner via pinfall: Snitsky
The next member of the Hall of Fame is announced and I couldn't be more happy -- The Sheik. Old footage from Detroit's Big Time Wrestling is shown and it's noted Ed Farhat got RVD and Sabu into wrestling. I'm thinking those two will induct the "Madman From Syria." It'd be a nice tribute.
Mick Foley cuts another hype job on his new book, The Hardcore Diaries, yet another New York Times bestseller. I haven't read it. SLAM! Wrestling will have a review next week.
Match # 3 -- CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly
Elijah Burke watches the match from the aisle, but Tazz and Joey Styles tease that maybe he's there to watch Holly. The match goes back and forth and Burke makes his way to ringside. The ref admonishes Burke, allowing Thorn to come through the crowd and snap Holly off the top rope. Punk capitalizes, reluctantly, and wins with his Fireman's Carry/knee to the face move.
Winner via pinfall: CM Punk
Burke and Punk argue in the back. Burke tells Punk to imagine what The New Breed could do for him in the Money In The Bank match at WrestleMania.
Extreme Exposé make a mockery of Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me, as I head to the can. Just the dry heaves.
Match # 4 -- Tommy Dreamer w/ The Sandman vs. Elijah Burke w/ Matt Striker
The crowd, like me, just can't get into Burke. I've said it before and I'll say it again. He's a cheap rip-off of Wesley Snipes' character from White Men Can't Jump. Burke blocks a DDT attempt and then takes down his knee pads for a running double knee to Dreamer's back, called the Elijah Express by Tazz, and it's another clean win for The New Breed.
Winner via pinfall: Elijah Burke
The same Raw recap as before is shown to segue into the main event.
Match # 5 -- ECW champion Bobby Lashley vs. Chris Masters
The match is nothing you haven't seen before, but the crowd has a little more life for this match. Maybe it's because they realize they get to go home soon. The match doesn't officially start until 10:58, so I'm thinking a quick Lashley victory. Yep. Lashley counters the Masterlock with a half-nelson slam, the delayed suplex, clothesline in the corner and Dominator power slam. See, nothing new. Geez, WWE has Lashley looking like Goldberg, but at least Goldberg defended his title occasionally.
Winner via pinfall: Bobby Lashley
Joey Styles sends the show off with a hype job for next Monday's Lashley-Mr. McMahon one-on-one encounter. Good, so does that mean next week on ECW we get Umaga vs. Donald Trump. 'Fraid not, folks.
Have a good week and keep those emails coming.
Matt Mackinder wants to be the next jobber for Lashley. Email Matt at firstname.lastname@example.org.