February 28, 2007
ECW: Beat the clock, Lashley
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
It's Bobby Lashley and Hardcore Holly in a cage tonight for the ECW World title. Can the two come through with a decent match? Let's find out if last week's show was a one-hit wonder.
Live from San Jose, the show starts with, naturally, a recap of the Vince McMahon-Donald Trump situation and Monday night's brawl on Raw between Lashley and Umaga.
Match # 1 -- Extreme Rules - Money In The Bank Qualifying Match -- Mr. Kennedy vs. Sabu
Sabu, as he has for months, just looks uninspired. Kennedy is a budding bona fide superstar in this business. Sabu moves so slow and Kennedy carries this match. Kennedy brings a table in the ring, but Sabu rallies to get Kennedy on the table. Sabu goes to the top, puts himself through the table after missing a leg drop and Kennedy gets the duke after a DDT on the remnants of the table.
Winner via pinfall: Mr. Kennedy
A limo arrives outside the HP Pavilion and Mr. McMahon gets out, but not before chirping the driver for not getting him there sooner.
Match # 2 -- Balls Mahoney vs. Matt Striker
The match is barely a minute old when Balls lands a top rope leg drop on Striker. Snitsky attacks Mahoney and leaves him a crumpled heap in the ring.
Winner via disqualification: Balls Mahoney
Snitsky starts to leave the ring, but comes back to give Striker the big boot in the grill. Fine, we get it, Snitsky is a monster. Let's get him in an actual match.
McMahon is backstage and says that because Trump surprised him last night, he'll surprise Lashley tonight. If Lashley can't beat Holly in five minutes or less, Holly will be the new champ. Somehow, I don't think that'll be a problem for Lashley.
Match # 3 -- Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer w/ The Sandman vs. Marcus Cor Von & Kevin Thorn w/ Elijah Burke and Ariel
RVD has the advantage early on Thorn, but once Dreamer gets tagged in, he's kept at bay by the New Breed. Once Van Dam gets the hot tag, he works over Thorn with a split-legged moonsault and Rolling Thunder. Van Dam goes to the top to finish off the vampire, but Burke crotches RVD after Sandman canes Ariel, who was attempting to hand Thorn his walking stick. Thorn hits the Dark Kiss on RVD and the New Breed steals one.
Winners via pinfall: Marcus Cor Von & Kevin Thorn
The jobbing for RVD continues. I wonder if this "feud" will culminate at WrestleMania. It would make sense.
Rebecca interviews Holly and he says no one can beat him in less than five minutes and that he'll walk out tonight as ECW champion. Sure, Bob, whatever you say.
Match # 4 -- CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards
Good to see Stevie back in the ring. This was probably the best match of the night. Both have some good offense and Punk wins with his new finisher, the Fireman's Carry into a knee to the face.
Winner via pinfall: CM Punk
We then get yet another recap of last night's brawl shoved down our throats. I pray this match won't be the main event at WrestleMania.
Good Lord. It's now time for a bathroom break. Extreme Exposé bores us to death with their "moves" to Chingy's U A Freak (Nasty Girl).
Jerry "The King" Lawler is the next inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. I hope he goes in with, or is at least inducted by Jim Ross.
No fourth part of the Bobby Lashley feature this week as the cage is lowered and Holly and Lashley make their way to the ring.
Match # 4 -- ECW World Championship Steel Cage Match -- ECW Champion Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly
Lashley tosses Holly into the cage twice in the first 30 seconds and keeps his eye on the clock. McMahon appears at the top of the stage and motions for Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada to go to ringside. Umaga destroys the announce table and throws a chair into Holly, who creams Lashley, but only gets a two-count. Holly is juicing from his right forehead.
Lashley then grabs the chair and nails Holly with no fewer than eight chair shots. He taunts Umaga at ringside and scoops up Holly for the Bulldog powerslam and wins with 35 ticks left on the clock.
Winner via pinfall: Bobby Lashley
Lashley then charges at the cage and spears himself through the cage and onto Umaga. Both wrestlers are on the floor, Umaga under the side of the cage, as the show ends with no commentary.
Matt Mackinder, though still not a fan of ECW, gives this show, like last week, 1-1/2 stars out of 5. That's a step up from no stars the first eight months of this "new breed." Email Matt at email@example.com.