February 28, 2007
WSX: Four times the confusion
By AMY LAWSON - SLAM! Wrestling
I watched the fourth episode of Wrestling Society X four times last night, and I'm still not sure what happened.
As discussed by SLAM! Wrestling's Nick Tylwalk earlier this week, the episode was held for a week because MTV officials were a little shaky on showing a segment that showed Vampiro taking a fireball to the face. In all honesty, the entire spot lasted only about two minutes, and didn't really contribute anything to the show. But more about that later.
The night kicked off with a performance by musical guests Clipse, who turned to be better commentators than Bret Ernst and Kris Kloss.
I've also had all I can take of the ring announcer, and he stepped up his obnoxious level a few notches last night.
Match #1: Matt Sydal vs. Scorpio Sky.
Hands down, this was the best match of the night.
Accompanied to the ring by his manager Lizzy Valentine, pretty boy Sydal posed for the camera before getting underway.
Sydal took a shoulder block by Sky before executing a leg scissor takedown. Sky does one of the best hurricarranas I've ever seen, and pushes Sydal, who asks for a break, from the ring.
Once back in, Sydal attempted a sunset flip, but is hit with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A few chops and clotheslines (including one that I'm still trying to figure out that had Sydal beginning outside the ropes) later, Sydal was again pushed out of the ring. Sky does a flip out of the ring to land on Sydal and actually lands squarely on his feet.
Back in the ring though, Sydal executes a very well-done standing moonsault for the two-count attempt. Sky responds by slamming Sydal, but he responds with a standing frontward moonsault off the ropes and gets the win against Sky.
Lizzy Valentine then takes more than enough time to write "H8R" on Sky's back in lipstick.
Winner via pinfall: Matt Sydal.
A small spot airs showing Jack Evans exiting the venue only to be stopped and handed a DVD by Marcus Riot. After a seemingly pleasant conversation about having seen 'his stuff' before, Evans kicks Riot in the nether regions.
Before the next match begins, we see Ruckus worried because he can't find the baby ladder. His partner, Babi Slymm hands him a blinged-out full-size version he's had custom made for him. Aww, just what every tag team needs.
Match #2: Keepin' It Gangsta (Babi Slymm and Ruckus) vs. That '70s Team (Joey Ryan and Disco Machine)
A lot of action in this match, but the cheesiness of the '70s gimmick doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the show.
That '70s team starts off by greasing themselves up in the ring. Even I shuddered.
Ryan starts off with a kick to the stomach of Ruckus. Ruckus returns with a leg scissor take down, and faces an arm drag by Ryan. After completing a spin kick on Ryan, Ruckus tags in Babi Slymm but they work together to whip him into the ropes.
Slymm completes an elbow drop and goes for the pin attempt on Ryan, but fails. Ryan then pulls a jawbreaker and a drop kick on Slymm before tagging in Disco Machine.
He jumps on the shoulders of Slymm and does a disturbing little dance while Ryan lands a kick to Slymm's stomach. Disco Machine rolls him up for a two-count.
Why it is that Ryan can't seem to keep his pants on an entire show boggles the mind, but I prefer not to put that much thought into it. In any event, after Disco Machine stands atop Ruckus' baby ladder (thank goodness they found it), Slymm yanks down Ryan's (pink) shorts to reveal a black thong.
Ryan hits Slymm, but is hit with a clothesline that leaves him face down, derriere up in the ring. Partners are tagged in.
After a clothesline, dropkick and a flipping elbow splash to Ryan, Ruckus suffers a kick to the head and a punch to the face. Slymm executes a spinning side slam on Ryan while Ruckus does a spinning neckbreaker on Disco Machine. Ruckus sets Ryan up in the tree of whoa and smashes a disco ball into his manlyhood. He sets up the bling ladder in the corner and sets the baby ladder on Ryan's face. Ruckus does a somersault leg drop and Slymm pins lifeless Ryan for the win.
Winners by pinfall: Keepin' It Gangsta.
Here's where things began to lose coherence for me. A match is announced between El Hombre and the Human Tornado. El Hombre (who, I'm pretty sure sneezed in his mask when he was announced) stands waiting while Human Tornado turns out to be a no-show.
A camera backstage shows the Tornado laying unconscious on the floor, but we don't know what happened.
At just this time, 6-Pac enters the ring, kicks and punches El Hombre out of the ring, and challenges Vampiro to another match.
Vampiro comes out in full regalia, and the two begin a staredown in the ring before a man (Ricky Banderas) in a vinyl skirt and a scarred face comes up behind Vampiro and knocks him out of the ring.
After being thrown into the guardrails and side of the ring by the man, it happens.
What's 'it'? The fireball, via Super Mario Brothers-style pixilation, appears (sort of) and Vampiro is on the ground rubbing at his face. Banderas stands above Vampiro and is shown with glowing eyes, a la the end of Michael Jackson's Thriller video.
It was a good show overall, even if it was edited. Let's hope that any future episodes aren't delayed by some slacking intern at MTV failing to watch shows before they're scheduled to air.
Take out the few remaining corny effects (and, for the love of chili, give Fabian Kaelin a Ritalin), and you have a show that the masses could become hooked on.
Amy Lawson is an East Coast-based writer who is so busy planning her wedding, she has barely had time to oogle Adam Copeland. Fear not, Adam, she's still here. E-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org.