Raw: Surprise! Trump picks Lashley
DALE PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling
Leave it to the mainstream media in America to spoil wrestling storylines. If you haven't read it here on SLAM! Wrestling yet, I won't keep you in suspense. Donald Trump is picking ECW champion Bobby Lashley to represent him at Wrestlemania, and Stone Cold Steve Austin will be the special enforcer.
So let's see if RAW hold any surprises from the campus Fresno State University, where they are denying David Carr ever played for them.
Match # 1 -- Shawn Michaels and John Cena vs. Randy Orton and Edge -- World Tag Team Championship match
The champ is here as the main event kicks of the show. The only man that could pull off a one man faction, Shawn Michaels, joins John Cena in the ring. Edge and Orton don't want to play though. The challengers appear on the Titantron. Orton says they'll be along later in the night. Orton calls HBK the best actor they have ever seen for telling Cena he has his back. They tell Cena to watch his back, since is partner is a liar. Team RKO have put together a
Shawn Michaels and his friends retrospective. First up, The Rockers, and I think we all know how that ended. Next up is Diesel and a superkick to Big Daddy Cool. Then a chair shot to former DX member X-pac. And Finally, a superkick to former partner Hulk Hogan.
Edge calls Shawn a liar, and gives Cena something to think about. Cena turns to his partner, and the two men stare each other down.
Match #1 -- Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin -- Money in the Bank Qualifier
Benjamin starts off with a fireman's carry and a quick pin. After a kick out, Benji tries
an Oklahoma roll to no avail. Hardy recovers and drops his heels into Shelton's stomach. Jeff with a snap mare, and then a low drop kick into Benjamin's back. Hardy mule kicks Benji to the floor, and then runs across the rail and connects with a clothesline. Back in the ring, Benji fights out of the corner only to get hit with a whisper in the wind. Hardy climbs the turnbuckle, but Shelton springs to his feet to catch Hardy. Benjiman hits a huge belly-to-belly suplex off the top turnbuckle.
After the break, Benjiman has Hardy locked in a body scissors/sleeper hold. Jeff fights out, but get back body dropped for his effort. Benjamin slaps on a chin lock. Hardy breaks the hold with a jaw breaker. Benjamin is tossed over the top rope, but lands on the apron. Benji leaps to the top rope, but slips off. Jeff nearly gets the pin. Hardy sidesteps a splash in the
corner, and counters with a Twist of Fate. Jeff climbs the turnbuckle and hits a swanton bomb. Hardy covers for the 1-2-3.
Winner via pinfall: Jeff Hardy
Vince McMahon appears on the Titantron as Hardy heads to the back. Vince says it doesn't matter who Trump picks, and shows the many hair styles of Trump.
Melina and Nitro are in the back, with Melina complaining about not getting enough press and having to defend her belt in a falls count anywhere match. And she complains about Maria. Nitro then does something he should have done a long time ago. He tells Melina to shut up, and
heads off for his match.
Match #2 -- Nitro vs. Super Crazy
Nitro doesn't even let Super Crazy get to the ring, and the match never officially starts. Nitro beats on Crazy and throws him into the ring steps. Nitro follows with a facebuster on the floor. Nitro heads to the back after the assault.
Match #3 -- Melina vs. Maria
Melina tosses Maria around by her hair, and then locks on a camel clutch. Maria fights back, smashing the champ into the turnbuckle, and follows with a bulldog. Maria then hits a clothesline in the corner, but Melina counters the bronco buster by getting a knee up. Melina rolls Maria up for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Melina
Vince walks out on stage (still with barber chair attachment), to make the announcement that we all ready know. For those of you living under a rock, or 10 feet of snow (upstate New York), Vince reminds us that the loser is going to be shaved bald. Vince wonders who Don might pick, but the chairman knows who he won't, as footage of
Rey Mysterio getting punked out by Umaga on Smackdown is aired. Vince calls out his man, Umaga, to join him in the ring. The chairman is confident that Trump cannot do better than Umaga, when the Don finally cuts him off. Trump calls Umaga an animal and needs to be tamed. The Don introduces Bobby Lashley, who walks out to the ring.
Vince calls for security to keep Lashley and Umaga apart, but Umaga gets in a cheap shot. Security can't keep the two men separated, and Lashley takes Umaga to the floor. The two fight onto the announce position, as security fight a futile battle to keep them apart.
(Wonder how long WWE is going to sit on Stone Cold being involved in this match, even though everyone knows it?)
Masters is all ready in the ring, when the Great Khali answers the challenge. Khali sits down, and a frustrated Masters can't lock on the hold. Khali raises his hands in triumph, when Kane hits the ring, and chokeslams Masters. Kane kicks Khali in the chest and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Kane them lays out Masters with a chair shot, and Khali stares Kane down from the floor.
Vince is going ballistic over Lashley, when he gets a phone call. One of the board members has an idea to present, a guest referee. Vince is
irate, and sends Coach out for a glass of water.
Lillian Garcia announces the next entrant into the WWE Hall of Fame. It's none other then Raw's own Jerry "The King" Lawler.
Match #4 -- Kenny Dykstra vs. Carlito w/ Torrie Wilson
We come back from break to find the match already in progress. Carlito hits a clothesline, and then a springboard moonsault. Carlito back Kenny into the corner, but a thumb to the eye switches the momentum. Carlito shoots Kenny off the ropes, and hits a one man flapjack. Carlito misses a springboard move, and rolls to the floor. Kenny takes advantage,
with a series of covers. Kenny locks in an abdominal stretch. Kenny stomps away at Carlito. Dykstra moves to the apron, and Carlito back drops him back into the ring. He follows up with a knee lift and a springboard back elbow. Kenny counters a hurricanrana into a powerbomb, and then whips Carlito into the corner. Kenny goes for a bronco buster, but Carlito moves and Kenny catches all turnbuckle in the nether regions. Carlito hits the back cracker, as Kenny is still hung up on the ropes. Carlito pulls Kenny down and gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Carlito
Vince is packing up leaving RAW, not for good, just for tonight. Vince is heading to San Jose, to the ECW taping, and he's
going to make Lashley's life a living hell.
Match #5 -- Shawn Michaels and John Cena vs. Randy Orton and Edge -- World Tag Team Championship match
Michaels and Edge start things off. HBK slaps on a hammerlock, and follows with an arm wringer. Edge fights back with a slam, and tags in Orton. He promptly misses an elbow drop, and Cena is tagged in. The champ whips Orton into the corner, following with a fisherman's suplex. Orton catches Cena with his head down, and then tags in Edge. Cena is kicked in the ribs, and Edge tags in Orton. Cena fights back with right hands, but Orton beats the champ into the corner. Orton misses and corner charge, and Cena counters with a bulldog.
Both men are down, but HBK is able to get the hot tag. Orton is hit with a flying forearm, and Michaels kips up. Orton is hit with an inverted atomic drop, and HBK climbs the turnbuckle. Orton is hit with a flying elbow, and HBK then catches Edge with an inverted atomic drop. Cena joins the fray and tosses Edge from the ring as HBK warms up the band. Orton ducks the Sweet Chin Music, and Cena catches HBK's foot before it catches the champ in the face.
After the break, Edge is working on Michaels' back. HBK powers out of the hold. Orton tags in, and stomps away at HBK. Orton slaps on a reverse chin lock. HBK fights out of it, only to be hit with and inverted back breaker. Edge tags back in, shooting HBK off the ropes. Edge locks in a sleeper, taking Michaels to one knee. HBK counters by straddling Edge on the top rope. Cena gets the hot tag, and
takes it to Orton, slamming him to the mat. The champ hits the five-knuckle shuffle, and picks up Orton for the F-U. The ref gets knocked down, and all four men hit the ring. Orton and Micheals spill to the outside. Edge readies a spear, but Cena catches him and sets up an F-U. Edge wriggles free, as HBK grabs one of the belts and hits Edge in the back. HBK tosses the belt to Orton, as Edge turns around. Edge, believing that Orton hit him, leaves the ring, and heads to the locker room. Left alone, Orton is hit with Sweet Chin Music, and then F-U'ed by Cena. The champ covers and gets the win.
Winner via pinfall: Shawn Michaels and John Cena
After the match, John Cena and Shawn Michaels stand triumphant in the ring.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale thanks Matt Mackinder for filling in last week, as Dale was recovering from No Way Out. Sympathy welcome at DPlummer627@yahoo.com.