February 14, 2007
ECW: Originals vs. New Breed
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling
The only positive I see with tonight's Tuesday Night Velocity (somehow still listed in the cable guide as ECW) is the fact we won't be seeing Vince McMahon. At least I hope not.
Live from Seattle, Bobby Lashley's win last week over Hardcore Holly is shown and Snitsky's attack on the ECW champ makes Snitsky seem like the next Great Khali (big, ugly, few in-ring moves, etc).
Joey Styles and Tazz start the show saying Lashley will face Holly in an Extreme Rules Match. No mention if it's a title shot, but it's next.
Match # 1 -- Extreme Rules -- ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly
A staredown starts the match and a hail of punches from Lashley gets Holly scurrying to the floor. Lashley goes under the ring and pulls out a table, but Holly clotheslines the champ, folds the table and puts it back under the ring. Cue the fan's loud boos and "You Suck" chants. After a commercial break, Holly has Lashley in a rear chinlock and the crowd is erupting with "Holly Sucks" chants. Hardcore drops Lashley on a chair throat-first, but Lashley rallies for a delayed suplex and a Shock Treatment for a near-fall.
Holly goes outside for the chair and brings it back in with the intention of hitting the Alabama Slam on the chair. Lashley worms out of the move, then scoops up Holly for a quick bulldog powerslam on the chair and the three count.
Winner via pinfall: Bobby Lashley
Now time for the attack from Snitsky. No, no attack. Hmmm ... But a video package hyping him as a psycho does air. I'm not impressed.
Next up is the awfully bad and waste of time Extreme Extreme Exposé. The chickies move to 50 Cent's Candy Shop before Kevin Thorn's music hits and he and Ariel walk the aisle to start the next match.
Match # 2 -- The Sandman & Tommy Dreamer vs. Marcus Cor Von & Kevin Thorn w/ Ariel
It's funny, Cor Von walked past a sign that had in big, black letters "Monty Brown." That may be edited out on Friday night for all the Canadians out there. Cor Von nails what is now called the "Body Block" on Dreamer early and Dreamer nearly loses an eye when he lands on the bottom rope. The cheesy finish has Cor Von grabbing the Singapore Cane and Sandman, after giving the Heinekenrana to Thorn and nailing Monty with the White Russian Leg Sweep, turning into a walking stick shot from Thorn for the win. Sandman's left shoulder wasn't even on the mat to boot.
Winners via pinfall: Marcus Cor Von & Kevin Thorn
The next video package of the night is CM Punk. Basically the same one, but with updated match footage, we had to wallow through last summer. Punk's in action next.
Lashley is backstage with SmackDown! general manager Theodore Long and Teddy invites Lashley to be his guest Friday night.
Match # 3 -- CM Punk vs. Mike Knox
Knox is still on the ECW roster? Why? Knox dominates early, but Punk comes back with his finishing series, culminating with the Yuranagi into the Anaconda Vice submission.
Winner via submission: CM Punk
As Punk celebrates, Snitsky enters and pummels Punk. A clothesline and a big boot lay out Punk. God, is Snitsky ever ugly. Guess WWE insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery.
The second in a four-part series highlighting ECW's lone bright spot, Lashley, is shown. He talks about how his ring jump was his idea to show the fans he's athletic and back in the day, he used to walk the steps at Pike's Peak.
Match # 4 -- Rob Van Dam & Sabu vs. Elijah Burke & Matt Striker
I grimace every time I sit through a Sabu match these days and not for the reasons I used to grimace 12-13 years ago. RVD gets a loud ovation when he gets tagged in and he hits his normal kick routine. Sabu goes for a springboard leg drop on Burke, but he slips on the middle rope and pretty much falls on Burke's knees. Burke cradles Sabu and the ropes for the win.
Winners via pinfall: Elijah Burke & Matt Striker
Burke and Striker are joined in the aisle by Cor Von and Thorn and Styles says the New Breed won tonight's war with the ECW Originals. No, Vince McMahon did. It's not enough that he could buy a half-dozen third-world countries, but now he has to kill any memories of the original ECW and job out the originals to no-talent newbies. It's just sad.
'Till next week. Maybe we'll lose power in the Detroit area and I'll be stuck with no TV ...
Matt Mackinder forgot ECW was even on last night. My prayers are with you, Bob. Your family and friends are strongly behind you, buddy. Email Matt at email@example.com.