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ECW: Vince shows up again
By MATT MACKINDER - SLAM! Wrestling


Tuesday Night Velocity (listed in the cable guide as ECW) is again the Vince McMahon hour. How unique, eh? I'm surprised this show gets ANY ratings. Pretty sure the crowd that goes is just there for the SmackDown taping.

Last week's visit from the boss is recapped, concluding with Elijah Burke getting pummeled by Sabu, Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman and Balls Mahoney.

Live from Nebraska, those four and Rob Van Dam are in the ring and Vince makes his way to the ring. Vince again belittles the old ECW and calls the wrestlers in front of him "dinosaurs." He says some, not all, of the ECW Originals will be in action, but if any of them place their hands on an official or interfere in the other's match, they'll be FIRED. Keep killing the legacy, Vince, keep killing it.

Joey Styles and Tazz (shouldn't he have been in the ring in the previous segment?) announce ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley will face Hardcore Holly later tonight. Title match? They didn't say.

A video package airs that hypes a new-look Snitsky arriving in ECW. He now has a shaved head and no goatee. Looks pretty demonic actually.

Match # 1 -- Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Thorn w/ Ariel

There's no ref in the ring, but Matt Striker walks down and is the guest referee. Great. Dreamer nails a sit-out spinebuster and covers, but Striker tweaks his knee and can't count. As Dreamer hovers above Striker, he turns into a clothesline, falls over Striker, and Striker is fine to count to three.

Winner via pinfall: Kevin Thorn

Dreamer glares at Striker, but nothing further escalates.

Rebecca and her cleavage interview Hardcore Holly in the back. Holly says he'll show tonight why he should be the champ. Typical bad heel promo.

Another video package highlights Lashley's rise to the ECW title. His mother and several Army buddies hype the champ. Not that bad of a segment.

Match # 2 -- Non-Title Match -- ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly

A very slow-paced match with a series of chinlocks on Lashley and then a modified STF. The end comes rather quickly as Lashley presses Holly, then drops him into a powerslam for the three count.

Winner via pinfall: Bobby Lashley

Lashley gets jumped by Snitsky. A promo hyping an arrival and then that arrival in the same show? Maybe the promos should have ran, I don't know, weeks ago? Snitsky drops the champ with a big boot and Holly drills the Alabama Slam.

Striker is the guest timekeeper for the next match.

Match # 3 -- Balls Mahoney vs. Marcus Cor Von

Balls is wearing a neck brace after last night's beating from Umaga on Raw. Cor Von hits the Pounce (called "that move" by Tazz) and then gets Mahoney to pass out from a Dragon Sleeper.

Winner via submission: Marcus Cor Von

Extreme Exposé is up next and they wiggle and jiggle to Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls. Striker interrupts and says he's now the guest ring announcer, Cor Von is the guest commentator and Thorn is the guest timekeeper for the following match.

Match # 4 -- Rob Van Dam vs. Elijah Burke

RVD is ahead early, but Burke snaps him off the top rope and into the ring barrier. Back inside, Burke hits a double running knee smash in the corner, but Van Dam rallies for a monkey flip and the Five-Star Frog Splash. As he goes to cover, the bell rings. Everyone looks at fault. Striker starts to announce Burke as the winner, but stops. Burke hits RVD with a low blow and cradles him for a pin. Huh?

Winner via pinfall: Elijah Burke

Now, Burke is announced as the winner and all the "officials" attack Van Dam until the Originals make the save.

Again, this show continues to be a gong show. Nothing new, I suppose, and I don't think Snitsky is the answer.


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  • ECW Extreme Rules DVD
    Matt Mackinder wonders why CM Punk and Test had the night off. Email Matt at mackindermedia@yahoo.com

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